2010

28o61o

2010-06-28T01:06:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

It's been a real long time since I ever last blogged. Every problem I had, I have been keeping inside me. There's nobody I can share with. So many problems. My family situation has definitely improved. However, there are still problems occurring on and off. It has never been a peaceful life. I never knew my boyfriend would give me any problems cause he has always been there for me. There were so many times so many things happened, and me with nobody to turn to. End up, I always thought of typing it here but I never wanted the whole world to know. But now, I feel everything is falling apart. I know my situation is not as bad as those who has nothing. But the feeling I have now, I feel I don't deserve it. All I have been doing is to love others and only care for everybody around me. Why is it that my life is never simple as I want it to be. Why can't somebody just simply love me for who I am and show me some love as much as I show the world I care for every little thing (except house lizards).

My boyfriend and I have always been fighting on and off about almost everything last time. And ever since, our relationship has constantly improving at the end of every fight, despite many breakups and patches. Suddenly, after school start, I felt life was going great between him and me. I made good friends in my current new school, and many times tried to bond together with them. But there were times things doesn't turn out as expected which leads to me missing my previous friends. However, I am certain they have their new friends to hang out and I won't want to bother them. Anyways back to my boyfriend and me. When school started, I admit I was caught up with school too much sometimes I tend to leave him alone. But I do think about him everywhere I go, it's a usual thing. Cause he makes me happy, he keeps my cheerful side going. I started trying to give him some time after he voiced out. And everything went great until he started being busy and seem to forgotten about me. After he stopped working, he's been playing games everyday which made me start wondering if he still wanted to see me. I know it is a mushy thing to be typing in a blog. But right now, this is all I feel that happened. He began to be so busy, we stopped going that much. Always going his house to meet him. I didn't mind cause where ever it may be, seeing his face gives me hope that even when everything is not going right in my life, he will be there with me to see through it all together. That, was all I needed in a day to make that day complete. After awhile, I noticed we stopped going out and started to feel like he did not like going out with me so I questioned him and pestered him to bring me out once in awhile instead of staying home playing games and using the com.

And sweetly, he did. We went to Sentosa and that was definitely a day to remember. We spent the entire day together with no interruptions and I wished it would never end. It reminded me of the time we went to Fort canning park right after he met up with my dad for the first time. That day was the first official date that my dad approved, it made us both so happy that finally, we cleared an obstacle in our relationship. And every since then, we were hoping everything will go smoothly as compared to last time where I have to hide here and there and be secretive. But a lesson learnt here is that there's always an obstacle after the other has been cleared. and with the wrong steps, we'll lose everything.

A few days after Sentosa trip, he was so busy with his NCC and camps, I felt he didn't care for me that much as last time when he had so much time. After awhile, I understood he had somethings to handle and under stress. So instead of thinking about going out or doing things together, I thought of helping him. I knew it was my mistakes that I gave him extra unnecessary pressure and I apologized. Everything went well then on.

Till a few days ago, out of the blue, he told me something about not able to visualize us being together in the future and I got disappointed. It's been a long time since I had big hopes for this relationship and to suddenly hear such thing on a fine day came to a big shock to me in a bad way. Ever since that day, I have been thinking about it and I started to feel as if he lost feelings for me and it was quite saddening for me. For so many years of feelings and trust towards him, it was very sad. It was only today when he told me what he meant. I did feel slightly better but this afternoon, I asked him a similar question about whether he was feeling the same as before. He did not want to talk about it so I assumed that he was feeling the same. So for the entire day, I did not really have the mood. At that point, I was shopping but did not bother walking around finding for things cause with no mood, there's no heart for anything else.

After knowing how he truly felt, I feel quite cheated. Honestly, cheated. He did not find other girls or anything. But the fact that he could not see us being together next time was because I was immature and other reasons. And for so many times, I do have my immature side, but I do have my sweet side and a mature side. I have really no idea why he says that. I feel he doesn't know me and it is really saddening. After for so long of friends, since secondary 2 we have known each other till now, he still has not know who I really am. For so many times I've changed for the better, why does he not see who I am. I agree our thinking is different, sometimes way different. But its not I am immature, he is too mature, in the sense that he is thinking so deep into so many other things which only adults are concern. I admit it is offensive to hear these things but I really do not think that is the issue right now. Now he says he's not ready for a relationship with so many things happening to him, the constraints. I do try my best to understand what he was going through but I gave so many other options, why do I still end up getting none. I am afraid that this relationship will die out. And when that happens, The cheerful side is definitely gone. I've been through this before, and I am afraid it is going to happen. I do truly love this man, but why is this relationship getting more complicated every step we take. For so long, I've always received signs that he is the man for me. Though I try not to think so deeply into it, its been so long that it is been tattooed into my head. I wish and hope and pray this relationship won't go down the drain.

I hope he read this and understands me.

Its not that I want to shoot him back during fights, but in my perspective, this is how I feel. All I want was to make things better, not worse.

I miss and love him very very much.

Currently I am tearing to a song, 'When you believe' by Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston.

This song somehow gives me hope that this relationship will not end if I believe. It's true. But while listening to this song and typing the above, it's sad just thinking about it.

Lyrics

Many nights we've prayed

With no proof anyone could hear

In our hearts a hopeful song

We barely understood

Now we are not afraid

Although we know there's much to fear

We were moving mountains long

Before we knew we could

There can be miracles, when you believe

Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill

Who knows what miracles you can achieve

When you believe, somehow you will

You will when you believe

In this time of fear

When prayers so often prove(s) in vain

Hope seems like the summer birds

Too swiftly flown away

Yet now I'm standing here

My heart's so full I can't explain

Seeking faith and speaking words

I never thought I'd say

There can be miracles, when you believe

Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill

Who knows what miracles you can achieve

When you believe, somehow you will

You will when you believe

They don't (always happen) when you ask

(Oh)

And it's easy to give in to your fears

(Oh...Ohhhh)

But when you're blinded by your pain

Can't see your way straight throught the rain

(A small but )still resilient voice

Says (hope is very near)

(Ohhh)

There can be miracles

(Miracles)

When you believe

(Lord, when you believe)

Though hope is frail

(Though hope is frail)

It's hard to kill

(Hard to kill, Ohhh)

Who knows what miracles,you can achieve

When you believe, somehow you will(somehow,somehow, somehow)

somehow you will

You will when you believe

You will when you

You will when you believe

Just believe...in your heart

Just believe

You will when you believe~

Hope you'll never leave me..

o9o21o

2010-02-09T23:28:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

FUCK MY PARENTS! seriously! unreasonable bunch of people!!
I listen to what they say but they want more.
My dad fucking said he allowed me to go out with other guys but not Justin. And just because I was already too close to him. And because I already lied to him last time so that i could go out with him. But i did say sorry, so what else does he fucking want! I already told him i cut down everything,
I WONT go out with him too often,
I WONT meet his family anymore,
I WONT go his house anymore,
I WONT go out with him 1 to 1 only,
Issent it already cutting down already. On my part, its hard to cut down but i still did it. I've met his parents for almost a year, and suddenly I stop meeting them, who knows they'll think I suddenly dislike them. All because my parents didnt want me to be so close in relationship.
I have to pull friends so that i could go meet him, and most of my friends always think that they feel so odd going out with us like lamp post. And i had to do all that just because my parents was afraid he'd do something bad to me. But think bout it, if he wanted to do something bad to me, won't he have already done it during that 1 year of relationship, why wait till now!

Dont you agree my parents are being too unreasonable when I already fucking OBEY what they want yet now they come and tell me, I just dont like you going out with him. WHAT THE FUCK MAN. whats wrong with you! We were planning on a hike tomorrow, just walking from place to place, trying to spend as little money as possible and no forms of transport, visiting tourist attraction and basically excisising at the same time. and it is totally unreasonable to tell me that they just dont want me to go out with him. LIKE SERIOUSLY, what bad things can he possibly do to me on a HIKE!?!?!???

I REALLY WISH MY PARENTS WERE READING ALL THIS CAUSE YOU ARE SERIOUSLY BEING TOOO UNREASONABLE AND OVER PROTECTIVE.
Though Im a girl, but I HAVE A RIGHT to be treated as a normal human! NOT A PRISONER. Told my dad that since he still doesnt trust us at all, why dont he meet with Justin but nooo, he doesnt what. he totally dont want to solve things, he just wants things HIS WAY. Always saying its to protect me, for my safety, But hear this, the more u mess a child's life, the more the child is rebellous. and this is true. Fucking selfish unreasonable human being.

23o12o1o

2010-01-23T05:14:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Today started off well. Went to his house and got ready to go out with his mum and him. We went to causeway point together for lunch. Wanted to eat seoul garden but it was already 30mins passed the student offer, and the original price was very very expensive, it was especially not worth it when we were not very hungry. so we ended up eating at jack's place. Justin's mum had beef steak, Justin had a Mixed grill and I had breaded fish with fries.
After lunch, we walked around. Justin gotten two new polo tees. and at around 7 plus, I had to go so I said my goodbyes. And walked around the pasar malam awhile to look for some sour plums for my grandma and headed to amk to meet my parents.

That was all for the day. but now, its 5.33am. And you know why i'm not asleep? Cause I simply have no mood to sleep. Justin and I just quarrelled. You see, though we seem like a perfect couple, always so loving, meeting each other everyday. But at night, we quarrel almost everynight on the phone. None of us want to fight. Usually we end off by both saying sorry and drop the subject. Endings arent always smooth, sometimes, our fights leads to breaks and break-ups. And like most nights, I'll fucking end up crying and have fucking swollen eyes the fuckngt next day. Why do I cry? Well, thats cause I fucking care about this fucking relationship and I have fucking feelings that always kena fucking hurt. BUT NO ONE FUCKING CARES! Well, let me ask you a question,
IF SOMEBODY YOU LOVE, GIVES AN UNEXPECTED NEGATIVE COMMENT. would you feel hurt? You would care how that somebody feels about it right! Issent that one reason why everybody always dress their best when they are meeting their loved ones?
I am no robot! I have a heart. telling you to just think of how I would feel before hurting my feelings, issit so hard? if so, doesnt it mean that you dont really care about how i feel AT ALL? being yourself and your selfish ways more important than the people around you?!
For all who wanted to know what happened, it was my fucking stupid idea of a romantic time with him. I just felt we had lesser alone time. SERIOUSLY! when was the last time we went out together alone?! when was the last time we enjoyed each other's company so much without any interruptions?!! where are those times! Or do you think that its a waste of time or its 'not fun' just being with me!! Nowadays, all I am hearing is you find me irritating. But what the fuck did I fucking do to ALWAYS make you so irritated?!? I showed you more love than you did which you totally took forgranted of me. What more do you want. You keep tempting me to leave you but I WONT! Cause I still fucking love you, but why dont you fucking get that in your head! I listen to you, but you also get angry, scold me that I'm being more of a secretary than a girlfriend. But I listen to you cause I love you and want you to be happy. Like that, you also not happy. What you want me to do?!?!?!! I'm trying my best to be the perfect girlfriend but whatever I do, I fail. You no longer encourage me or make me happy. Issit because its been 1 whole year already and you got sick and tired of me? You said no, but instead of always fucking scolding me and trying to find whose fault, why you dont try to stop it. I give in to you, I listen to you. But like that, you also dont give me any chance. I know you dont like me comparing myself to your exs, but now is the last time I'm ever gonna even talk about it, I know I cant be as cool, as fun, as pretty, as smart as any of your exs, but if you really do love me, why dont you love me for who I am. Why cant you be the guy you always tell me to find(the one where you said 'there are other guys are better than me').
Recently when you started to change every of our picture to other pictures, it already kept me thinking. Issit you seen too much of me till you are sick and tired of seeing me? What happened to the 'looking through my photos and telling me how much you love me'. What happened to all the sweet moments we use to have.
Parents are already a problem for me.
Fuck life. Fuck blogger. it erased alot of my words.

o2o12o1o

2010-01-03T03:22:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

A happy 2010! I'm very very contented with my welcome of this year. I came back from malaysia on the 31st of december 2009 and was on time for countdown. I was planning to celebrate countdown with Justin but my parents wanted to celebrate it with me! And I was kinda disappointed cause I had to make a decision between my family and my boyfriend and it was hard. At 11.30, I was lying on my bed talking to Justin, expecting to have the worst countdown ever. In the end, my parents came into the room at 11.45pm saying I cound go countdown with my friends. Immediately, I jumped up and my dad drove me all the way to the house. And on the dot at 12 mid night, when fireworks shot up in the sky, I was standing at the door giving everybody a surprise. It was one of the happiest moments, thats for sure. We had toast, and I had not ONE but TWO presents. One was a bag made out of a chiong sam material which I loved it so much. And the other was another bag with red and white stripes and a very nice soft pillow like material and a big ribbon which totally matched one of my shoes, I was very touched cause that really proves how much he notices about me. hahahah. Anyhow, I really enjoyed myself there and wished it lasted longer, sadly, I had to go home by 2am, it was a real mood spoiler!
The next day which is today, my dad suddenly wanted to throw a random bbq dinner which at first I wanted, but my bro said he couldn't make it home in time for dinner so the idea was dumped aside for awhile. Then my bro called back again and said he'll make it for dinner but by then, I already had plans to joing Justin and his parents to go new year visiting at his uncle's house. So I told my dad and left. Though I did enjoy spending another day with him, I still wished it lasted longer cause today, time really seemed to pass so damn fast.
Yet now, though I'm very happy that I managed to spend more precious moments with him, I'm having this guilt in my head. I want to be with Justin, yet I want my parents to enjoy themselves too. Am I being a bad daughter? I really feel I am yet I miss him when I', with my parents alone. Cause my bros aren't there to keep the liveliness and my parents will focus only on me and start talking about this and that which I don't like talking to them about. I'm sorry, but sometimes I do find my parents annoying.
If only they approved of our relationship in the first place, my life wont be that much of a problem. Everything will be so much smoother cause I wont need to hide anything from anyone. But now that I am, I feel terrible sometimes but I have to, for my own happiness, I have to.
I wont leave him thats for sure. I just wish and need my parents to give up and let me be with him, just him and no other guys, only him. I love him only.

Loves

23o92oo9

2009-09-23T21:11:00.011+08:00

Dear Diary,

Missed me? It's been such a long long time since I last touched this blog. its horribly dead.
Prelim exams are almost over, tomorrow is the last paper, Art. Its a freaking THREE hours paper man! My butt is sure to burn. hahah.
These few days have been absolutely great. I studied hard for my prelims but I guess after my physics and accounts paper, I sort of gave up hope on my A1s. I wonder if anybody feels the same pressure as I do, parents hitting you with the "ALL A1s" lecture, both brothers' results to compete, grandmother to prove wrong and above all, a boyfriend to be proud of me. I may seem like a slacker but I do study, just that I'm lazy and I die die have to go out of the house. I totally can't lock myself up at home, I'll just die.
Talking about leaving the house.. I went to Justin's house today. Though tomorrow's paper is Art and I have to prepare 5 boards for tomorrow. I'm glad at least I've already started ABIT, well it is better than none. At first, I was planning to go his house to do my Art. But we also planned to bake a cake! A delicious mouth-watering butter cake! For a first time cake baker, I guess we did pretty well. We had so much fun we floured on each others' faces! Everything went messy. But the batter was still pretty neat! I felt like we accomplished something together today. Today felt special. Justin's brother kept checking the oven if the cake was done, and I was glad he did. We set the cake to bake for 55 mins but I guess roughly 30mins, it was already done.
Today was such an enjoyably day. One moment I'll always remember from this baking experience was when he hugged me from behind and wrapping his giant hands around mine, we poured the mixture into the baking tray together. At that moment, he bent over and kissed me on the cheek. The feeling certainly brightened up my day, it felt like those perfect advertisement couples you see on television. A feeling that I'd hope it'll never have to fade away.
When it was time to go home. He was supposed to accompany me to Toa Payoh Station. But as we were on our way to Yishun Station, he had a call and told me he couldn't follow me to Toa Payoh. Instead, he could only accompany me to the Yishun MRT station. I was disappointed. We said our goodbyes, and as I tapped into the station, I looked back and he disappeared into the crowd. I dragged my drooping spirit up the escalator and waited for the train. Just then, an enormous dark figure stood infront of me. It was Justin. He gave me a surprise that brought tears of joy upon my eyes. He held out his hands and gave me a packet of KinderBueno. Found out he had planned it all out for the surprise and took the opportunity to buy a packet of KinderBueno when it was still 4 minutes to train's arrival. Fortunately, the surprise did not stop there. After reaching Toa Payoh Station, he told me he was going to send me all the way home. How sweet of him. After reaching my house, we had a plate of hokkein mee from a coffeeshop near by. It was delicious. After eating, we parted our own ways without a goodbye kiss. Normally, its a usual thing that we have a goodbye kiss before ending the day. But as there were a lot of people in the coffeeshop, I guess he felt paiseh.
After reaching home, unpacked my bag, watched some television, I realised I needed to buy A3 paper for my Art. So as I was leaving my house again, I msged him. To my surprise again, he was still at the bus stop waiting for the bus. My poor baby, came all the way down and got stuck at the miserable bus stop. So I ran to company him at the bus stop before the bus could arrive. But turned out he missed a bus to meet me and waited for the next bus. hahah.
Here are some photos of us baking!(:

Justin sieving the flour.

Us, together.

Good times will never be forgotten.
Great times will always be treasured.

THIS IS OUR YUMMY DELICIOUS BUTTER CAKEE!!! (:

I love him a lot and every moment spent, will always be recorded down somewhere. We've been together for months, but I'm waiting for a lifetime.

Loves!

o7o92oo9

2009-09-07T23:56:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

Life is so horrible towards me.
I love him so much, life without him is beyond imaginable. I've gone to a stage where I've gone so deep. Willing to sacrifice anything for him to be with me. I just need him to know that.

i love you...
xoxo

10o82oo9

2009-08-10T22:31:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,

Firstly, i would like to wish everybody Happy National Day! Its been great for the past few days and months.
Actually, I have a lot of stories to share but its totally impossible to remember and type it all down. haha. But anyways, recently we had a national day celebration in school last friday. It was also my classmate's birthday! Happy belated birthday Vic! We had a huge cake of the Singapore flag. Oh ya, we had a successful mass that day too. congrats!
Wanted to type something but erased it.but nevermind. basically, I'm sorry to those who always decline. I'm very sorry.

29o62oo9

2009-06-29T01:05:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

WHY MUST FAMILY FIGHT. I HATE FAMILY FIGHTS. FUCK!
everything is disturbing me. MY LIFE SUCKS. seriously. JUST FEEL GLAD YOU ARE NOT IN MY FAMILY. Everyday, everybody is fighting. Father complain got chest pain. Mother complain being parents not easy.
FUCK LA. I NEVER DO ANYTHING WRONG LA. Now so late, I using computer to do my work. Brother use computer to play game. Yet everything also end up i kena scolded... BUT NEVERMIND! I dont shout back. I dont do anything. But do you have any idea how stressing it is to be me. One minute tell me to study, tell me to do my work. At the same time, here shout there shout, how on earth can i do my work. AND FUCK LA. now my ah ma crying. I LOVE MY AH MA! WHY MUST THIS FAMILY MAKE HER SO SAD. WHY DO I FEEL LIKE ITS SO SCREWED UP. Why my 2nd brother never get any part of the whole fucking incident. WHY WHY WHY!
WHY CANT WE JUST STOP FUCKING FIGHTING. WHY CANT MY PARENTS JUST STOP THEIR FUCKING PROBLEM SO THAT WE CAN FUCKING NOT FIGHT.
WHATS THE PROBLEM WITH MY FAMILY! now im starting to even think what is family. who is family.
RAHHH! I DONT WANT MY AH MA TO CRY!!!! BUT SHE'S CRYING! SHE'S STILL CRYING! AH MA DONT CRY! I wish i can tell her, but in the end, I surely get scolding. Cause everything i do is fucking wrong. Why cant my family just sit down and talk. HAVE CONVERSATIONS. COMMUNICATE! oh gawd! HOW I WISH EVERYBODY IN THIS FAMILY CAN JUS GO FOR COUNSELLING!!! i dont mind! ITS FUCKING AFFECTING MY WORK! how am i going to fucking concentrate now!! TALK PEOPLE! TALK! MY FAMILY IS GOING NUTS! IM GOING NUTS!!!! tomorrow is first day of school. I dont want to cry tonite. Please dont let me cry tonite, i dont wanna have swollen ugly eyes tomorrow.
Sometimes, I just really really feel like running away. Especially when O level is this year, with all these minor problems growing into a huge problem, how can i ever study. the question is HOW AM I GOING TO STUDY AT HOME! now that my mother wants me to stay home all day to study. only allow me to go out on saturday, but that is still under consisderation. so with all these problems, how to studdy!?!?!? YOU TELL MEE!!!!!!!!
I WANT TO LEAD A HAPPY LIFE. I WANT TO BE HAPPY. Everybody just dont want to give in to each other. Everybody just wans to have it their way. Everybody wants to settle their problems their way. Everybody thinks everyone dont understand them. BUT HOW ABOUT ME! I ALSO THINK NOBODY IN MY FAMILY UNDERSTANDS ME. though im the youngest in the family, I STILL HAVE FEELINGS KAY! and IM REASONABLE!!! so dont scold me for nothing! if you dont want to lead a happy life, thats ur problem. I WANT TO LEAD MINE HAPPY.

I just want all this to fucking stop now. Fuck all this problems dead!

11o62oo9

2009-06-11T13:45:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

I've been great for the past few days and weeks. The holidays has begun and things are just fantastic. I've been going out with Justin every week which I'm totally happy about. And yesterday, he even gave me a surprise. Though I admit I'm a total spoiler. Well, Justin has just been a great boyfriend to me.
However, I admit that I don't think I'm being a good girlfriend to him.
One bad character/habit about me is that I'm easily jealous. Seriously.. Especially when it comes to relationships. Even Justin ever told me that a million times and I too, noticed that. Well, I made a promise not to be jealous and I actually shouldn't be. But just that I find that he's like a girl-magnet? Cause he is really a nice person to talk to and I'm sure girls like talking to people like him. Anyways, whenever that happens, I just suddenly feel that my heart beats faster and my mind just filled with negativity, I call those feelings parts and parcel of jealousy. But those are starting to fade off nowadays. Now, I'm okay if he's talking to someone cause he has his life too rite? Well, that was what he told me previously and yeah, i do agree. I guess I was sort of eating into his life. uhh. scaryy..
Anyways, but another thing i just noticed why I'm so easily jealous. Things he likes to do, are different from things I like to do. We are somewhat opposite, we think differently. And when the girl he's talking to, has similar favourites, meaning they can click quite well together. This stupid jealousy comes up again. When he says the girl is funny, the jealousy grows. At that moment, I would think about the promise I made and.......nd..nd.. Oh who am i kidding!! I'm more sad than jealous actually.. especially when he starts fantasizing over the girl. Somehow making me feel she's better and that they have more things to talk about than we do!
I feel like I failed being his girlfriend.. really. Though I really do still love him to bits. I just...cant accept that fact that... Arghh i dont know..
Just when I feel he loves me as much as I love him, something just has to happen and now I just feel....so mix feelings.
I'm failing to be a good daughter, good friend, good student and now, a good girlfriend.

Sighs!
I guess there's need for more improvements..

24o52oo9

2009-05-24T20:22:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

We had IJ Fiesta last fridayy! and I managed to buy an IJ car decor for my dad's car. hahah. Didn't really stay long. Cause after that, I went to meet up with my boyfriendd, Justin!!!(:
After that, i went to Crystal's house and we had steamboat!! and also watched a singaporean movie... Kinda forgot what's the title.. But it was a nice moviee!

On saturday, which was yesterday, I went for dental appointment which was at 1pm, but it dragged till soo late as there were other patients the dentists had to attend too as well.. Anyways, after dental, my dad and I passed by a Mustafa warehouse sale somewhere near my house and we managed to buy loads of things! we bought lychee, thai mango, potato, onions, garlic, biscuits, etc etc.. and OMGG! i tell you.. THE BISCUIT IS DAM NICE! taste of cinamons and chocolate and some vanilla. oh myy....
After that we headed to the bank den went home.

Today, walked to church with chelsea... and today, my church's this year comfirmants joined us for 9am choir. after mass, we had choir practice and after choir practice, I had comfirmation camp meeting. Oh wells, spent most of my day today in church and most of my afternoon sleeping! :D

RAHHH!! guess what! Tomorrow got TB jab AGAIN!!! OMGG LAAA... I'M GONNA DIE AGAAAINNNN!!! I guess im gonna feel tired and sleepy tomorrow and probably get scolded by teacher for sleeping in class while the stupid nurses go round telling them that the jab has no side effect and all. RAHHHHHHHH!!!!

OH WELLS, hope i get to see Justin tomorrow. Maybe that'll make me feel soooo much better. (:

Loves!

o8o52oo9

2009-05-09T00:37:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

Mid Year Exams has started already! Today is Biology Paper, it totally sucked just like the rest of the papers. Especially Mathematics Paper! First time in such a long long time that I would actually fail Maths Paper. OMMG la. I'm so dam sad. Feel so hopeless for Mids. Diieeee sia. Geeez! Lucky its ending soon, two more papers! wheee. Physics on Tuesday and Art Wednesday.

Anyways, Today Qarissa and I went to Plaza Sing! She was meeting her friend to watch the movie X-Men. And I was planning to get a mother's day present for my Godmother who is coming over on sunday! Anyways, I bought a plain frame and two packets of small pretty fake flowers to decorate the frame. And guess what! I just finished making it and its awesome! so pretty. hahah. Only thing left is the photo, I have yet to print it out.(:

After getting my materials, Qarissa and I headed to toa payoh to meet up with sin min den we headed down all the way to yishun and we shopped around till 6 den we went to sin min's house. There, we ate chocolate ice cream and took alot of photos! wheee! can't wait for Qarissa to upload the pictures! hahahahh.

After that, Qarissa and I met up with Justin!(:
We walked to Popular then walked around and around. hahaah. Though it was for awhile, just seeing him made it all worth while. I'll treasure every moment with him, thats a promise. And I can tell he loves me too! I'm so happy, feeling like the luckiest and most happiest girl on earth! hah. I can't wait for Mids to end, after that, we'll get to go out together again! and I can't wait for O's to end too! after that, thats when there's hope that my parents will allow me to have a boyfriend and i can officially claim Justin to mine! wuahahhaahh. I love him. wheeee!

Loves!

26o42oo9

2009-04-26T00:12:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Everything is over! I'm feeling dam happy. We just patched back. like after afew minutes after i typed the previous post. I'm so happy. haahahaha.
Now we are talking on the phone and everything seems to be okay. It feels like its long gone from september 11. anyways, now he's reading something about a prediction of tsunami. OMGG. IM SCARED. but I'm more scared of tomorrow's TB results. Now I don't want it to happen. omgg, hope its not too late to take back what i said eariler. But now the mark shows a small red dot. Not so bad i guess? But Monday, who knows the results... omg. Anyways, glad everything is over. anyways, TB issent important. Justin is more important. wheee!(:
I can finally sleep peacefully tonight. And just wanna say, THANKS CHELSEA! you're the best bestiieee bestieee. She's so funny. now she's telling me a convo she had with her friend. hahaha. both of them are funny. I'm laughing. hahaaahahahah.

Love you all!(:

25o42oo9

2009-04-25T22:26:00.005+08:00

Dear Diary,

Help me out here. I feel like my heart is torn into a million pieces now. Why can't he just understand how much i care for him!! Why can't he just wake up!! Justin, I hate you! I really do. Never knew everything for the past few YEARS that I loved you would end up like this. I hate you!!! You just ended my life. You always leave me and I'll just stupidly end up crying for you. Why am i so stupid. Why am I so blind to have fallen for you so deeply, so deep that it's hard to get out. You were the reason why I'm so lively everyday these past few years. Your existence and presence in my life made a change. If I didn't meet you at all, who knows what or who I am today. But all just ended and i hate you. Why are you so selfish! Saying that you love me but truly, we wouldn't last for more than a month!! I hate you!!!! Why do you think of yourself so badly??? For all these years, you became a role model to me in some ways but you've just trashed it all in afew minutes.
Do you think I'm a burden? Is that it? Why didn't you tell that in my face! I hate you. but I can't get myself to hate you more. Now i hate myself for not able to hate you alot!
I try to help you yet noting gets into that thick skull of yours. You're selfish, inconsiderate and mean. You don't appreciate things around you, especially those who actually care for you.
You were the first person I feel so much for. You were the first person i cared about so much. Why did you have to do this to me. Why. You still think its for my own good? I dare you to say that again.
For all these years, I've been remembering what you like and dislike about me and i changed. I thought if I changed, you would like me more. All these while, I've been trying so hard to just make you love me, love me the way I loved you. But now its over. Well, issent that what you typed in your nick name? "its over"? Feeling any happier? Cause I don't.
I've treated you as my best friend and since then, i loved you. Why do you hurt me this way. Why. Tell me why. I hate you. Now that you're not here, I suddenly think I'm alone in this world. Suddenly think that I have no friends that i can turn to.
After all these while I loved you, now I hate you. You made me hate you. Is that the way you want it to be? Even if you have your problems. You think this is helping anything? Maybe for you, but thanks, now I have a problem, that's to forget you. Erase you and everything you did. Yet I know I can't. For the past few years I can't, what makes you think I can now? Is this helping me in anyway? You think?? I guess not. Do you know you mean so much to me, those who know me, knows how much I love you but why can't you see it. Don't tell me that by expressing my feelings in my blog is going to give you any pressure. Well, fuck you.
You say that I won't get what I want in life. But after reading all my post, don't you see? You are the one i want in life. Though everybody might think its stupid, I think not. If you think its stupid, then you seriously do not know me well enough. But now i hate you. So even if you don't know me well, who cares. In times of need, who is there for me? In times of need, I tried my best to be there for you. Is this the things i get? I've been faithful to you and sometimes I doubt you were as faithful to me than I was to you. But I didn't say anything. You once told me to trust you or else what's the point of being together. Well, I handled you all my trust and now you're leaving me. Even if you're not leaving me, you're chasing me away. Fuck you. I hate you. Now that I had my TB test and results are coming out tomorrow, I hope and wish I'd die of it. TB, please kill me cause i hate justin, justin being the most serious one i ever loved.
My world is crushing down, just like the september 11 incident.

I hate you.
so just shut up.

24o42oo9

2009-04-25T00:14:00.005+08:00

Dear Diary,

What a tiring day i had. Had our TB jab during the third period, i was the first according to register number, to take the jab in the second batch. As I walked closer to the venue (library), my heart started to beat fast. i started crying as soon as i stepped in the jab-taking room. Ms Yip consoled me but still didn't help actually. I've always been afraid of needles as most nurses would not be able to find the vein on my arm part of the hand so usually end up taking from the wrist there. It was obviously pain. But i kept thinking about somebody and granny. Whenever I was suppose to take jab, my granny somehow gave me the power of not feeling the pain and the courage to jab through without crying. But, as much as i was imagining Ms Yip being my granny, it failed. Anyways, I'll be sure to keep track of the results during this weekend.

Another saddening thing was I think, THINK, Justin and I are on a separation, not that clear.. Well, how i wanted to be there for him, but if he doesn't wanna share with me, I won't use force.
But how i miss him. Though it scares me knowing he is in this state but I guess I wouldn't want myself ended up disturbing him. specially when Mid years are jus around the corner. But let's see how yeah? Maybe next time we'll end up talking again. But you know what. I planned to go hhome straight after school and either catch up with some sleep or give Justin a call. But sad to say, after assembly, my world came crushing down. Well, hope i can move on and not think about him too much. How I'm already so use to talking to someone and that somehow gives me more concentration to study. I don't find it distubing at all (depends who).

Arghh. Lets move on.. After school, after my world was crushed under the rubbers of despair, I totally didn't want to go home at all. If I went home early, I would tend to think alot and I'm sure nobody would want that... hahaha. So I went to Chelsea's house to study and bake cupcakes and pie. We baked banana chocolate cupcakes (heart shape) and Lemon custard Pie. Sounds nice? You'll love it if you love sour sweet stuff. After that, it was around 10 plus. so we went to play afew rounds of karaoke game where we had to sing according to the notes and all, it was so fun.

Our Heart shape cupcake!

Lemon Custard Pie!

Anyways, i gotta sleep soon. I'm feeling super tired ever since I got the jab.

Goodbye for now.
Just so you know, I love you and I'll always will.
Nothing can stop me from loving you.
Cause my love for you is strong.
If you need me, I'll be here.
Here thinking about you..
I still love you.

22o42oo9

2009-04-22T20:57:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

It's 2 days away from jab-taking day! Feeling quite afraid, i guess i'll be freaking out on Friday morning. The whole of my class (5/1) and the class next door (5/2) has to take this skin test, the jab to test for TB. A classmate of ours has TB and is currently under strong medication. Yes, i feel bad for her, seeing the speechless expression as Mrs Matts told us about the jab. Most of us were shocked and felt like "wtf!" but if I were in Lynette's shoes, I would too, feel bad. Well, it wasn't like she had any intentions of passing any germs to us so i guess i don't blame her. well, of course i won't blame, i hardly blame anyone for things rite? heh.

P.S. STEPH! DON'T FALL ASLEEP WHILE READING!

But this morning, as i was explaining the whole situation to my parents and asking them to sign the acknowledgement slip, i felt my heart beating very fast, stupid thoughts raced pass my mind. I was starting to think what if I had already passed some germs to Justin, what will happen then? Then i was picturing all sorts of reactions he'll show, like "wtf!" etc.
And even before i could finish talking to my parents about the jab, i walked away cause i didn't want any tears to drop. And i admit that I'm a totally emotional person, cry easily. But i was scared rite, don't tell me you'll never cry when you're scared. Anyways, after leaving the house, i msged Justin and told him all bout it. Though the reply i was waiting for, came after quite a long wait, but at least it wasn't a "wtf" reply. Instead, he managed to calm me! omgg! haha. I love him for that and everything he does.(:

P.S. STEPH! DON'T FALL ASLEEP WHILE READING!

Anyways, my dad took my laptop to work!! And i feel like as if something is missing. The last time this feeling happened was when somebody confiscated my handphone! DADDY! I WANT MY LAPPY BACKK!!! GIMME BACKK MY LAPPY!! he told it to office to ask his friend to help me install photoshop. yay! photoshop finally in my laptop, it's been quite some time since i last used photoshop. oh ya! Talking bout photoshop...
I had art today and my dad came down to school to talk to Mr Lim about my art stuff. Like finally! now I don't feel that stress. Thank god. And as they were talking to each other with me sitted smacked in between, i was looking at my classmates and they were showing me all kinds of handsigns and actions. I found it rather funny, specially charlotte's "fuck you" sign to Mr Lim behind his back. LOL. hope Mr Lim doesn't go round reading his students' blogs.

P.S. STEPH! DON'T FALL ASLEEP WHILE READING!

Oh ya! Almost forgot to update an exciting most happening event that happened on Tuesday, 21 April, yesterday. It was BEN AND JERRY'S FREE CONE DAY! Almost half of my class went together, i counted around 20 students! Our mini class outing. We rushed down to the Toa Payoh mrt, den conquered half a cabin and started taking photos!! -My fave.(:
After alighting the mrt, we started walking fast, then we started RUNNING to united squares. It somehow felt like amazing race, amazing race for ice cream! And as we were about to reach United Squares, as we were running up the staircase BESIDE the escalator...
Shermaine, Iylia and i was taking the 2nd flight of escalator when a lady wearing shades started scolding. At first, i had no idea she was talking to us. Then she questioned us, "Hey IJ, where are you girls from?" we stood silent. "Hey, i'm asking you a question. Where are you girls from?" we still stared at her, thinking of what to reply then she began asking another question "Why are you girls making so much noise?" I said "Sorry." and quickly rushed Shermaine and Iylia up the escalator, FAR FAR AWAY FROM THAT ASK-ALOT-AUNTIE(AAA). After catching up with the rest, we ran up united square and joined the queue. It was super long! While having our first cone, most of us queued up for our second, i guess one cone is never enough. Even after having our second cone, some of them still queued for their THIRD. hahah.

P.S. STEPH! DON'T FALL ASLEEP WHILE READING!

Anyways, after the whole Ben and Jerry's, Qarissa, Sin min and I went to Toa Payoh Entertainment Centre Macs to study. BUT....as most IJians in my school can predict, after studying, we tend to side track by taking loads and loads of photos! hahaha. all the funny and stupid faces. We stay at macs till 9 plus and we took a hell lot of photos. what a day!

Loves!
WHAT A POST!

2oo42oo9

2009-04-20T21:16:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

I feel like screaming my lungs out now. i'm totally feel pressured for art. art was never a problem for me, NEVER! Ms ho, my ex art teacher, calls me stubborn. well, at least then, i know what i was doing and where i was heading. but now ever since i've got Mr lim as art teacher. my art is in a mess, not a total mess, just mess.
Now that my art is like a product making, there's so many parts of it. firstly, making the product itself. secondly comes the drawings and some 3D stuff. the first part is already a confuse mess. big question: how to make. bearing in mind about the stability and space. okay, these are not the stressing part.
the stressing part has nothing to do with my art. it has to do with the people helping me: Mr lim and my dad. well, my dad is the one helping me to construct it so i understand that he needs to know how is it done and all. but the thing is, im being BRAINWASHED by both Mr lim and my dad. Mr lim say it is possible and keeps giving ideas. the way he says it like he knows about the making of it. but when i explain everything to my dad, he tells me another side of it, like its not possible cos the acrylic needs to be thick and blah blah blah. and specially when he said "it will look very funny." and he listed problems about it. but now he tells me, what the hell am i suppose to do?!! go and sleep and dream about changing everything? now that im 25% through this product i cant possibly change the whole idea into something thats on a simple piece of paper by next monday(5 boards submission)!
Brainwashed... im being brainwashed... my mind is super clean now cos its been washed so many times by more than one person. im being brainwashed. how i wish i could drop art as a subject, but no! i cant. art is supposedly one of the good subjects. but noo... im being brainwashed. brainwashed by art. rahh! i wanna complain, but who do i complain to? its been quite awhile since i have problems. arhhhh!!!! kill me. just kill me.

no Loves in this!

18o42oo9

2009-04-18T22:36:00.005+08:00

Dear Diary,

Today was such a suay day for me! i feel so unlucky!
in the morning, everything started out okay, normal. den after i boarded the bus on the way to meet justin, i realised i left my wallet at home! and oh gosh, that was the worse thing not to bring along with me cos with my wallet, there were my keys! and so coincidence, my ah ma wanted to go out today. thus, leaving the house empty with my wallet and keys!!
but despite all the unluckiness i faced today, justin was the only lucky thing/person that was with me through it all.
anyways, we went to have lunch together and to my surprise, the toa payoh's fish soup shop was open!! but omg! the weather almost killed me. i felt like an ice cream melting under the hot sun. and in addition, the fish soup coffeeshop was extra packed so i also felt extra warm! anyways, justin had chicken rice while i ate my fish soup.
After that, we took the mrt to tampines! on the first train we took, it suddenly breaked in the middle of nowhere cos somebody has pressed the emergency button and reported that someone had fainted in the train. the train slowly moved towards the next stop (novena). we got off at novena too as the train was too crowded and warm! not because we were being kaypo..well, i was, but he wasn't. hah! den we hopped on the next train all the way to tampines and took the shuttle bus to ikea tampines. i had to find my materials for my art work. and to my dismay, the frame i need, one cost around $25! and i needed four frames! imagine how big the hole in my pocket will be! After all the walking and exploring ikea, we had some food. and justin is such a food person.(:
after ikea, we decided to go to check out spotlight in plaza sing. so we took a shuttle bus out of that place. but landed back at the same spot, cos we didn't alight where we were supposed to. see! suay ritee! omgg.! im such an unlucky child today!! after that we took another shuttle bus to tampines and from there we took the mrt to douby gaut and justin accompanied me around spotlight searching for my things. oh ya! i didn't expect justin to bump into so many friends, and i? WHERE DID ALL MY FRIENDS GO!! hahh.
after walking around spotlight, we went to carrefour. and there, justin was tempted by the smell of food! hahahah. me? i still had the fish soup in my tummy.(:
by den, it was around 7.15 i guess? and i was supposed to meet a friend at 7.30 to go for another friend's grandfather's wake. well yes, i was late. sorry.. after the wake, met up with my parents and went for dinner, and it was a super duper late dinner! i had fried rice cos when i was walking around deciding wad to eat, the fried rice jus reminded me of justin. LOL! anyways, i'm not use to such a late dinner, the food in my tummy have yet to be digested so currently im not advise to sleep! but, im feeling really tired so i guess i have no choice but to sleep like a pig now! hah. well, i have to wake up at 7.15am tomorrow so better get goin'.!

Loves!
P.S. i hope justin is not reading this.
cause he'll smack me if i ever said i was suay again. :P

14o42oo9

2009-04-14T23:52:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

Firstly, i would like to thank God for the internet.
If internet wasn't created, i wouldn't have met Justin. and all these while, we would be some common long lost kindergarden classmate. Well, though its fun to find everybody from the class but given the population of singapore, how am i suppose to find a class of 1998?(if im not wrong, its this year) but who cares! i found justin. hahahahah.
Anyways, today we had the last ELDDS session. quite sad la, gonna miss all the fun and laughter during LD. Specially the games, warm ups and the "Whose Line Is It Anyway(IJ TP SEC VERSION)" and not forgetting, the drama trainer, cheryl! its so fun with her around.(:
But i guess today is the last day we're gonna see her. ):
After LD, i went home. we(shermaine, iylia and me) totally forgot about shopping at the interchange. we passed by a shop that sells hoodies!! and decided to visit after cca but totally forgot about it. sighh. maybe tomorrow.
Talking about tomorrow, GUESS WHAT! we are having ENGLISH ORAL! i heard its for Prelim. omgg. and to add on to the madness thats going around in my head, i left my green english file(oral file) in school! how smart of me rite! omgg!! well, wish me luck!(:
Hmm, before i came to blog, i was starting on my mathematics notes! notes starting from Sec 1 all the way to Sec 5! hahaha. and hopefully, i can use it is the future when i be a teacher, a mathematics teacher. well, HOPEFULLY! hahah. else i'll be a interior designer, following passion! mathematics is just something i THINK i can handle and hopefully MIGHT give me a stable job in the future. hahahah. Anyways, its midnight already! i better go sleep now else my eye bag is really going to be worse and worse. ugly eye bag! ):

Loves!

"Only Hope by Mandy Moore"

there's a song that's inside of my soul
its the one that i've tried to write over and over again
i will waken the infinite cold
would you sing to me over and over again

so i lay my head back down
and i lift my hands and pray to be only yours
i pray to be only yours
i know now you're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars
of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again
when it feels like my dreams are so far
sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again

so i lay my head back down
and i lift my hands and pray to be only yours
i pray to be only yours
i know now you're my only hope

i give you my destiny
im giving you all of me
i want your symphony
singing in all that i am
at the top of my lungs I'm giving it back

so i lay my head back down
and i lift my hands and pray to be only yours
i pray to be only yours
i know now you're my only hope

13o42oo9

2009-04-13T22:02:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Went out to study with Justin after school today! Honestly? I feel so happy. (:
Anyways, my day started out terrible. For the entire morning, i was predicting my death. Death from teachers.
Firstly, we had 2.4 run during PE, but i forgot all about it so ended up didn't wear my PE attire. and plus Ms Teo PS was my teacher, i thought i was really gonna die. and to add on top of that, i was the only one without a proper excuse letter or a reason for not able to take PE. BUT! Ms Teo ended up not asking anything or even say anything about not participating in PFT. so hurray for me! but boohooo next week. i guess im going to run next monday. hope i won't run alone! hahah.
Secondly, my class thought the gift exchange present for international friendship day was today. and i totally forgot about making something which has to be related to vietnam for my "buddy". turned out, i heard she is an ah lian from girl guides. oh goshh, what am i suppose to make for her! and plus its vietnam! i only know that their coffee is good. so am i suppose to make her coffee?!???
Third reason of supposedly death, ART. Mr Lim came to school today! like finally after so longg!! well, the last time he told me to draw 30 drawings by 2 weeks ago so i thought he would be expecting 50 drawings by today. but i ended up drawing till around 20. anyways, i still thought he'll murder me. BUT guess what! Mr Lim didn't ask anything about my "30 drawings".. hahaha. but thank god he didn't increase the number.
SO all in all, i didn't die, God saved me. hahah.(:

After school, met up with justin at bishan library and studied. I did maths! whee.!(:
anyways, he is sooo cute, really! i loovvveeeee himmm toooooo bitsss!!! and really, i do.
well, i guess most of the daily readers who read my blog will know that, since i practically talk about him all the time in my past posts. hahahaha.
OH YA! you know what! when we were at bishan mrt station? we helped an old lady to the tracks leading towards woodlands. hahah. though i was afraid that once she's in the crowded train, she wouldn't be able to hear the announcement on when to get off! and i even had a thought of taking the train with her to woodlands and U-turning back to toa payoh station. but oh wells, i guess maybe it's also a stupid idea la. ANYWAYS... oh and you know what?? im on the phone now and we're studying via phone! haha. GOO VERNICE'!(Social Studies).
P.S. i want to go to Vernice for FUTURE honeymoon! LOL. den visit the gondola. hahhah. well, i wish i can visit that place before it sinks!

gotta study now.
TATA!

Loves!
Ps. i was thinking of this particular song the whole day! "Cry by Mandy Moore"(:

1oo42oo9

2009-04-10T19:21:00.007+08:00

Dear Diary,

This post will be different. it's the song lyrics and it totally expresses what im feeling now.

"Never Be Replaced by 1st Lady"

Baby I love you & I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And I promised you t

hat you will never be replaced

Baby I love you & I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And I promised you that you will never be replaced

I love you
Yes I do

I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until... the end... of time
From the day I met you I knew we'd be together
And now I know I wanna be with you forever
I wanna marry you and I wanna have your kids
Thinking never compared to the feeling of your kisses

I can say I'm truly happy to this day
You've made me thank god that I've lived my life everyday
There's never been a doubt in my mind
That I regret ever having you by my side

But if the day comes that I have to let you go
I think there's something I should probably let you know
Joy in everyday that I spent with you
And I won't miss you 'cause I'm happy that I had you at all

Baby I love you & I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
The love we made can never be erased
And I promised you that you will never be replaced

Baby I love you & I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
The love we made can never be erased
And I promised you that you will never be replaced

You will never be replaced

I feel for you yes I do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until... the end... of time...

23o32oo9

2009-03-23T21:24:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

I'm sooo dead today. i'm going to show my ugly report book to my parents tonight, later on, maybe after blogging. oh my.. im scared. There's like 2 F9? and 1 E8? its soo horrible. i rather get a grade U, look so much better. and the worse is one of the F9 was ENGLISH! yes, i admit all the comprehension practices' passage made me sleepy and caused me not to do my entire best. but oh gosh. i didn't know it'll be in the report book! hate it. hate it. hate it. the other two subjects i failed was combine humanities and science, AS USUAL.... but at least i scored A1 for maths!(: got 92%! and my accounts improved! got 60 plus%. and my art was such a dissapointment, dropped to 50 plus, you know why i scored such a low mark? i didn't do much for art. infact, i have yet to choose a topic! oh well, i'm sure i'll scored better in the future for art cos i have started drawing some developments! and all mr. lim could say was "uh. okay. uh okay. somemore? next? okay." thats all! usually he'll say alot of stuff. hah.

Enough about school stuff. On Friday, i went out with wei jie. met at 1, went to marina square to catch a movie! DMC!~ Detroit Metal City, jap movie!! It's dead funny! Alittle hell's devil here and there. but oh gosh, i cant forget the way they ran!! all the guys who ran in the movie was dam gay! hahah. after watching the movie, jie and i went walking around suntec and took a bus to macpherson there. we slacked till night, around 9 i think? not sure.. den he walked me home, passed by the yummy prata shop and some of his friends were there. uhh.. but we still walked. i guess jie jie is a nice person.(:

On saturday, i woke up dam early like around 5plus! went to Singapore Flyer there for cip with chelsea and her friends. though i was already dead tired, i TRIED to keep my energy up. walked with the down syndrome people, but ended up walking together as a bunch of ij girls like it was an outing instead of cip. after cip, chelsea and i walked around marina square and it reminded me of wei jie cos we jus went there like the day before. den i went to meet up with justin at somerset and walked around orchard. when i was with justin, i saw steffi and her mum! haha. we stopped to say hi and some rubbish i was blabbing. after that justin and i took a bus to airport and to douby gaut to pass time. den went home. oh wells, it was fun overall.(:

On sunday, i went up to steffi and asked if she saw justin. and she was like she din noticed and something about all guys having the same faces. OH MY... thats scary. what if all guys really share the same face!! hahah. glad i know that will not happen! after church, i went home and did some homework and fell asleep. i was sooo shagged. At around 4.30, my brother woke me up and said we were about to leave to fetch my parents from harbourfront(came back from batam). and i had like afew SECONDS to change out of my sleepy self! anyways, after fetching my parents from harbourfront, we went to east coast to makan. had satay beehoon, fried oyster(its dam dam good!), waton noodle(jie jie jasmine recommend), and some other side dishes. and my favourite COCONUT! i love coconut, one of god's beautiful creation! hahahah.

TODAY!(Monday) School reopened! and im still in the holiday mood. shytzz.):
MOTIVATE ME!! after school, i went to bishan library to study with justin! we really did study and i managed to do my work. but i jus realised my maths is failing me!!! UH NOOO! starting to get alittle rusty in the previous topics.
anyways, when i reached home, i was shocked. today got rosary thing at my house. all the furniture were moved aside. omggosh. anyways, it ended around 9. OKAY. I GOTTA GO! ITS DOOM TIME. (report book!!) IM SOOO DEAD!):

Wish me luck!

19o32oo9

2009-03-19T14:23:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

I'm happy now. feeling blessed to have a person like him talking to me!
It totally brightens my day after talking to him or even through smsing, he'll make me smile. I hope it'll last for eternity cos i don't wanna lose him.
I'm going out today, but i'm not meeting him today cos he's in camp.(:
i'm meeting gigi! we are walking around in toa payoh, got pasam malam! how exciting... i love ramly burger! <3<3<3
maybe i could eat it for dinner! hahahah. im sooo enjoying life now, which i'm not suppose to. i haven't started on my art boards! and haven't study.. uh oh.. oh wells, i must find that motivation to study!!
Got to go now. i think im probably going to be late. oh dearr....

Loves!
Oh baby, i miss you so much.(:

17o32oo9

2009-03-17T23:48:00.005+08:00

Dear Diary,

RAHHHH! im happy yet confused. why?!!!!
Sometimes i just feel like screaming my lungs out, even if my heart can't take it, i feel like screaming till my brain explodes.
I've always been fighting for what i think it'll make me dam happy in the future. but somehow, there are so many obstacles to face. some which i, myself, do not know what i'm doing is the right thing to do anymore, thus leave me in a confused state.

Should i follow what i know is right? or should i continue to fight for my future happiness?
Two questions that will probably give me sleepless nights.

Adore You

Everyday, everynight
i wanna see you baby, staying by my side
i'm goin down on my, on my knees for you
for your love i'd do it, for your sake, believe i do
if you don't love me, why do you raise my hopes
no matter what happens, i can't let you go
you got it wrong, i didn't wanna hurt you
i wanna be all the world to you

Help me.

21o22oo9

2009-02-21T22:15:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Guess what! i just had my braces done! and i look so funny! hah. i wonder what my friends' reactions gonna be. cant wait for tomorrow and monday!
Had my appointment at 1pm. As it was an appointment, i thought today was just a check up. and according to my school's dentist, it needs about 1 year to make the braces and to put it on. but during my appointment, the dentist mold out my teeth and it was awesome! the mold tasted like mint but obviously, i didn't swollen any, it would be just too disgusting. after that, they took x-rays of my mouth! that was awesome too! when the x-ray came out. my reaction was "omg! i didn't know my teeth was horrible!" after that, i overheard the dentist telling the nurse that there was no need of any extraction. oh thank god for that! i surely won't want any permanent teeth to be pulled out. den they started cleaning my teeth and pasting the brackets on. i didn't feel anything. den they put on the wires and tighten it. it didn't feel very tight though. for today, they'll just put braces for the upper set of teeth, next appointment will be the lower set of teeth plus cleaning.
My next appointment will be next month, 21st march and it is also a saturday. can't wait to get both sets of teeth done!
After the whole dental appointment, we went for lunch and i ate porridge. it took so long for me to finish just one plain bowl of century egg porridge, without meat. my parents and granny had to watch me slowly eat. but after awhile, i gave the remainder to my dad, it was quite hard for me to eat! At this point of time, i felt the braces getting tighter, it was good.
We went home after lunch and i started doing geog workbook. so hardworking right?? heh. at around 6, we went to AMK hub for dinner and grocery shopping. i couldn't choose what to eat! everything was like too solid to me, i ended up eating chicken mee sua, without the chicken(gave to dad). First time, i had to eat plain stuff, oh wells, i'll get use to it soon.
We headed for NTUC for grocery shopping, it was so crowded, i was afraid someone might hit me in the face and injure my teeth. At this point, my teeth was like crying out for help cos the tightness was killing it! but after some mouth excercise, it felt better.
Anyways, i gotta go! tomorrow going to church. hopefully, i'll be much earlier for choir practice.

Loves!
P.S. you know what!
I missss hiimmmmm ssoooooooo ddaaaaammmmmmmmm mmuuuuccccccchhhhhhhhh......
can't stop thinking about him. ):

15o22oo9

2009-02-15T21:03:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

I had self awareness camp on friday all the way to saturday. it was a really an enjoyable camp, able to mix around with my fellow classmates in an environment different from school. Well, apart from playing and just having fun, i came to realise my relationship between my parents and me. I now understand my parents' thoughts for me, every scolding there's their reason behind it. Yes, i knew it long ago but i couldn't accept it, all i thought was my own reasons, most importantly, it was my "wants". I didn't accept the fact that when they scold me, it was for my own good. and at that point of time, all i thought about was my reasons vs. theirs.
I'm trying to be a good girl now, but i guess at times, i might forget about what i wrote here today. I'll constantly try to remember why and how i'm here, on this earth. and how lucky i am to have a complete family that most of the time, wouldn't dissappoint me.
Another thing i learnt from camp was about relationship, not any relationship, but a bgrelationship.
I learnt about the true purpose of having a relationship. Its not about sharing everything you have with him and its definitely not trying to get anything out of him. But most importantly, the purpose of having a relationship is marriage. And its truly obvious that i'm too young and not ready. I guess this is what my parents have wanting to tell me through the years but i think they didn't make it too clear for me to understand then. And yes, during camp when they were talking about it, all i was thinking was Jusin and how whatever they said, can relate to the past relationships i had. And i'll take this "waiting for him" as a test to see how true is my love for him. And as i always tell myself "God has a path of me, only he knows what is going to happen next." and i have faith that whatever path he made for me, it'll always turn out good cos i know he loves me! not only me, but you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and not forgetting...YOU!(:
Oh wells. My birthday is coming soon! afew weeks more till im officially 17! woo hoo! i wonder how would i celebrate it this year. i'm planning to be something small meaning no parties. maybe just a outing? sounds fun? but exams are nearing! oh gosh, maybe i wun celebrate it this year. exams are more important yeah? hah. see how, i think now its still alittle too early to say anything yet.
Hmm, wondering how i celebrated valentine's day and with who? wonder no more! i celebrated with my class on friday and saturday morning. and celebrated with my parents and granny in the evening, had paranakan food. and for sunday, i celebrated with my whole family and jasmine(alph's gf) at united square, novena. we had buffet! omggosh! till now, i'm feeling bloated. Hah. and afew minutes ago, i suggested to order pizza through delivery cause i wanted the "HOT" sticker. its so cool! hah. oh wells, tomorrow is monday, just another day in school but going to church in the evening. ahhh. im so bored. 30 more minutes to the start of "Incredible Tales" hahah. the last time i watched it was with Justin via phone. i shall recall the moments!(:
Uh ohh. laptop's batt low. blog ya next time!

Loves!

o9o22oo9

2009-02-09T22:03:00.005+08:00

Dear Diary,

It's been a long time since i updated the blog yeah? oh wells, so many things happened!
First things first, i cut my hair! and its really short now. omggosh! i'm so not use to it. some say it was okay, some preferred my current hair, some say they preferred my previous hair. but on sundae, i checked the ends of my hair and it seemed unhealthy so i decided to cut my hair. chelsea and i went to cut hair together at hougang! its only $7 and i get to keep my tail.(:

Okays, as we all noe valentine's dae is around the corner. i hope you get to enjoy it with the one you love.
For me, i wanted to celebrate it with justin. but due to some matters, i dont think its gonna come true. There's two reasons:
One being i have self awareness camp on 13 the fridae till 14, saturdae which is valentine's dae. but i thought of meeting him after camp, that's if he had no other plans.
The other reason being, my mum checked my hp again. and i guess u knew the rest. i did delete the msges. but i fell asleep on thursdae nite that i was not able to delete some of the msges. so my parents sent out a msg to justin telling him not to msg or contact me due to O levels. and he promised. i know that they are doing this for my own good and all. but did u noe how many sleepless nites i had? it was because i accidentally fell asleep while watching tv that caused my happiness to end. and now i don't really dare to sleep/ fall asleep. the same moments would keep replaying itself, the one about my parents reading my hp and it just scares me, its just so disturbing.
I went to kim's house on saturdae morning. and i admit, we did talk about him but im sooo not gonna say wad we talked. but when i was in the car leaving, i was really unsure about him. should i take my friend's advise to move on cos she told me that he might have already moved on so i should too. or should i just follow my heart, i don't mind waiting for him if he does the same. but surely i wouldn't want to feel cheated. well, i believe he wun cheat me, or is that wad i'm trying to believe? love simply cant get any simpler, can it. anyways, good news is that my mum said she'll allow me to have a bf after O levels and i hope he'll be justin in the end.
i love you, justin.

Loves!
P.S this song is playing on radio now and the lyrics sounds so suitable to what i'm feeling, right now, right this moment:

why do you do this to me.
why do you do this to me.
why do you do this so easily.
you making it hard to smile because making it so hard to breathe.

why do you do this to me.

why do you do this to me..
to me.

11o12oo9

2009-01-11T17:01:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Im so dead tired todae! i went to church late... goshh! why todae so sleepy.
after church, had choir stuff. den after practice, ben kor, vince, joseph and me went to the hawker centre behind to have a drink. den went to joseph house to slack den come home.
planned to sleep, but the computer wad tempting me. anyways, i got to go out now. going to clementi, like the other side of singapore! my aunt's house, got steamboat. aight, better get going, father chasing me like mad now. shout shout shout. so annoying.

Loves!

o2o12oo9

2009-01-02T23:40:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

You noe the previous post? the one where i said i put my timetable for todae? well, i turned out to be mondae's timetable. i totally packed my bag for the wrong dae! and its just the first dae of school! oh man...
Anyways, todae we din had much. just some introduction of teachers. EL is Jac Yip who is also our form teacher. Maths is still Mrs Kuan (very good teacher). PHY is still Mr Yap. SS is a new teacher named Ms Wong, my first impression of her was "oh man! strict teacher approaching!" but after awhile, i guess she can be a nice teacher as well, thats if we are nice, she'll be nice. if we are nasty, she'll be nasty too. hah.
Todae was more of a student conduct lesson. we were each given a letter about rules and all. and they wan our parents to sign it, gosh, this is the first time i experience this man. i think its a totally waste of paper! just imagine this. rules and regulations are already typed in black and white in our school diaries. and yet they had to print again in a separate paper for our parents to sign? they are totally killing alot of trees! estimating they printed for the whole school's population and thats like a whole lot! maybe they already killed almost 10 trees! poor nature.. being distroyed all becos the school wanted to give us disciplinary actions. its disforestation man! learn ur geog! gosh!
anyways, den after school, eunice, lynn, lynn's sister, qarissa, shermaine, me went to meet kor kor ben and vincent at the tpy library macs there for lunch. heheh. i stole alot of fries!(:
den they were like psping most of the time. geeez! oh ya! den i was smsing a friend who told me he was at home at that time. den suddenly, he send me "are you the one sitting with two guys?" i was stunt, din noe wad to say, where to look. felt like i was being spyed. but end up, i met that guy and he looks totally familiar! like i seen him somewhere, but i jus cant figure out where. hmmms. anyways, after that, me, eunice, ben and vince went to eunice's house where eunice's mum met them for the first time. and yeah, we had loads of fun there together with whiskey! the dog. hahh. so adorable.(:
den around 6 plus, i wanted to rush home for dinner and to watch the 7pm show. so we left around 6.30 plus plus. and waited for the stupid 155 bus which took dam long! when it was already 7pm, i was still at the bus stop waiting for the bus. damn SBS! but me and eunice had the pleasure of beating and whacking ben and vince. hahah.
wells, thats about it for todae. tmr, there's shobana's bdae poolside party! woo hooo! the theme was suppose to be bollywood theme but i dun have anything related to bollywood. goshh. but im gonna go out with my friend before the party. so maybe i'll jus wear jeans and a nice top.(:

Loves!

o1o12oo9

2009-01-01T21:03:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Tomorrow school reopen! omggosh! saddening man. how i wish there's more holidae. but oh wells, O's is coming! the O's is coming! time to study! hah. dun think i'll be going to blog much for the next few daes, or even months.
Anyways, i just found out that my class is 5N1! hahah. 5N1 sounds like some smart alec class. All the while, i wanted to be in 5N2, not sure why though, maybe cos it'll make the class sound less nerdy. hah. and guess wad! form teacher is jac yip! omg! i find her dam fierce! omggosh, i hope this year is going to be a good year. oh ya, she is also our english teacher.. oh damn. but maybe she's a nice person? dunno la. hoping that she wun be that fierce to her form class.(:

wanna noe wads my timetable for tomorrow??
o7.45-o8.55: CE (i also dunno wad is "CE" but i guess its cMe)
o8.55-1o.o5: EM(Maths)
1o.o5-1o.4o: RECESS!(:
1o.4o-11.5o: BIO
11.5o-12.25: CHINESE
12.25-o1.35: ENG

den school end! hah. my friends said they'll come find me after school for lunch. hah. yay! at least my first dae of school is planned out. LOL.
uhh.. my nyonya show starting le. got to run! hahh.

Loves!

o1o12oo9

2009-01-01T00:23:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

HAPPY 2009! hahahah. im no longer called the dead bitch of the year! yeahh! (long story). anyways, countdown sucks big time man.
Afew of my friends invited me to countdown with them. but i rejected all! STUPID STUPID STUPID. at first my dad said that we will countdown at my uncle's house, so i thought "hey, maybe for a change, i could just countdown with my family." thats why i rejected all my friend's invites.
so we had dinner, den after dinner, we were watching tv. and suddenly, at around 10pm, my parents said we had to leave. so i was like wtf? i thought we were staying for the countdown. den my parents said we were going home, boring man. so i thought maybe can join my friends now. den my bro was like "nvm la, we go home celebrate with mama." so i thought, "hmm, yeah. i would definitely put mama first piority." so we went home. den when we reached home, my granny was about to sleep, she doesnt bother about all these. gosh! den my dad asked my to join the rest watch channel 5. den i look at my mother's face, like as if something happen like that so forget it la. she anyhow also give me that face. so i went to my room and used to laptop and watched channel 5 ALONE! IN MY ROOM! ZzZ. worst countdown ever. spending that few hours of 2008 alone. damn.. sighh. i wonder how the others are doing. drinking their heads off i guess?
ahh, anyways, this moment of dissapointment and anger will soon fade away. i bet tomorrow will be a better dae.! & oh damn. school reopening this fridae! Rahh!

CHEERS TO 2009 AND MORE TO COME!
Loves!

2812o8

2008-12-28T11:51:00.005+08:00

Dear Diary

The past few nites were so fun!
we had christmas mass at 12 midnite on wednesday. den after mass, we had exchange presents! hahaha. guess who got me! its CLIFFORD! when i was busy crossing out names, i totally din expect it would be him.(: anyways, he got me something from adidas! yayness!
den after that, my friends and i went to bernard's house. it was his bdae. yupps, bdae on christmas dae! we stayed all the way till 5.30am around there, hoping to take the bus home instead of a cab. but anyways, in the end, we took a cab so no difference. but the next morning i had to wake up early to go to my relative's place to celebrate christmas! &i love the cookies they baked. heaven! yeah!
Hmm, den on fridae, my parents went to batam. i din even get to see them off.! anyways, yesterdae, it was the last dae of caroling! uh ohh! oh ya! nick gave me a christmas present. In one of the previous posts, i typed the shopping/wish list? yeah! he gave me item 11. a mini mirror! gosh! its so cute! at first i thought it was some make up compact or something. den to my surprise, it was a mirror. haha. thanks nick! anyways, we were on the bus back to church den we saw an accident! got pple die leh! scary. i also wonder how he die sia. den for that same accident rite, got this super nice car sia! red colour. DAM SWEEE! but the glass dam jialat man! langa until like that, i bet the owner sure heart pain lor! omgg. car dam nicee!!!
after that the bus took us back to church, and andrea and me went to charlene's bdae chalet. yupps. it was at changi. near och! i wanna go... -.- but i guess i went there too late. oh wells, some of us played majong all the way till around 3 plus 4am this morning. den elvin, andrea, geffren and me, shared cab. on the way home, we saw another accident. but i dun think anybody died. it was a taxi i think langa another car. geez! wads with all the car accidents man! oh ya, den i had about 3 hours to sleep left before waking up for mass at 9am. haha. oh ya! btw, my parents coming back this evening. i wonder if they got me anything. hahahah.
OH OH! i going to watch disney channel now.. whee!

Loves!
P.S. thank ya'll people for the presents! im so sorry i couldnt get some of you presents in return. i dun have enough cash on me. sorry.(:
Merry x'mas and a happy new year peeps!

2212o8

2008-12-22T23:52:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Its just 3 more daes to christmas! How exciting! not only its christmas, but its my godbro's bdae too! haha. born as a santa claus.? LOL. anyways, todae i went out to settle some things.(:
Tomorrow gonna meet chels! she's actually known as my twin in school, sometimes. haha. anyways, chels gonna get her present to her santie! cos choir has a exchange present activity. so excited! i wonder wad am i gonna get... haha. i have been trying to figure out who got mine. and i have some suspects. so cool! its like a detective game, but anyways, better not spoil it so i shall quit guessing..FOR NOW. haha.
hmms, i have no idea wad to type now...
ah yes, 2 daes of christmas carolling is over. sadd. but no worries! theres another one next week.(:
and theres christmas midnite mass.. haha. i heard mus wear a white dress. omgg, i dun feel like wearing the one i have. no sleeve one. -.- den plus with got air con there, its gonna be dam cold! jacket jacket! and after mass, im goin to my friend's house. party party! haha.
anyways, omgg.! i think i really put on weight! DAM SAD! nvm, i'll be going to the gym with chels! and hope we stick to wad we said "go every week" or something like that. goshh. school is gonna reopen soon. damnn! i wan more holidae! Rahhh... speaking bout school, i haven bought the books for next year, hope they still have stock.
ahh! so boring.. lets tok about tmr.. me and chels going to bugis. but i have $4 and some coins left in my pocket! and i wan my queensway/far east slippers! love it love it! maybe bugis also got sell, maybe its even cheaper! hahah! oh ya, i haven get my mini mirror for my bag. and i wan my school bag! the one with star prints all over. I LOVE STAR PRINTS! DUN COPY ME! haha.
i saw the bag in vivo. cos like $30++ haha. hope i get it before school reopen.(:

Loves!
P.S
Guess wad! im gonna buy my friend Silkpro shampoo for his christmas present.! wuahahahaa. hilarious!(:

1812o8

2008-12-19T02:16:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Today might just be the most suckiest day so far during the holidaes.
Its the day when i collected my N'lvl results. I was one of the first few to take my results back due to my miserable single digit register number. Though i admit it is my favourite number, number 4.!
Anyways, how great it would be if i got a number 4 for my results too rite? Sighh. One thing i dun understand. How did so many people get 4 or 5 points! Geeshh. And i just got a miserable * points. Well, at least i got a choice to go sec 5 or ite, which was difficult. But one thing is for sure, is that wadeva choice i make, i must end up in temasek poly, i simply love the design courses there. I want to do the interior designing course. Yupps! Thats my interest, being a interior designer.
Pros and Cons.
I hate studying humanities, science, accounts, chinese and all of those subjects.
And now i heard in order to go poly aftr next year's Os, i need to get 13 points for L1R4! which is like 2 or 3 points per subject.
And if i fail in sec 5, (which i hope i wun) i will still end up in ITE.
But everybody except two people, is telling me to move on to sec 5.
Whats wrong with ITE?
Waste more years? I have a course that im sot of interested in, something to do with media.
Hmms, anyways, i just checked out the ITE website. And im glad i did, turn out that the course that i was sot of interested in, was just another course i din want. So guess wad, Sec 5, here i come!
Sadly, i noe a friend of mine who is opting for ITE. Well, i wish her all the best. And hope we wun lose contact.(:

Loves!

1212o8

2008-12-12T08:05:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

HAH! Guess wad! im in malacca now. i brought my laptop cos i heard they had wireless internet connection. and i'll be missing someone so might as well bring! den can tok to him on msn. hahahah.
hmm, we left singapore yesterdae, in the morning, like real early! around 5 plus 6. omgomgomg. den u noe wad! he woke up super early so that he could sms me goodbye before i leave. how sweet is that! well, theres two pple who smsed me goodbye.(:
Anyways, yesterdae me and my family went to malacca town. and we shopped from evening till nite about 10. i wan more shopping!!! wheee! and and we watched a movie too!(in the cinema of course) we watched "when the earth stood still" or something like that. its a nice show! i recommend ya'll watch it! thats if u like aliens and transformation of the earth. it has abit of a family love inside, and a whole lot of destroying by the DARK FORCE near the end. so yupps. go watch it! oh ya! i bought a puma bag ytd too! its small, and its a sling bag. ITS DAM NICE! though it looks alittle bit lian-ish, but i love it. hahaha. my bros bought shirts and all but i din like the lady shirts. but todae, daddy said there'll be more shopping! simply cant wait. we going back to malacca town but to another shopping centre. oh ya! u noe theres something like a chinatown here and i saw this shop which has realli nice t-shirts! its printed shirts, and they have realli cool wordy t-shirts. i wanna buyy!(:

oh ya, i wan take loads of photos too! but! unfortunately, the camera is spoiled. SADD! nvm, theres always handphones! haha. im so happy when it comes to handphones... cos, im getting my new phone on tuesdae! im so dead happy! i dunno weather the phone is good anot but it seems cool. haha. model: HTC dual. hope theres no bad comments bout it. -.-
sighh, such bad whether to swim. its been raining the past two daes! and its dam cold here. im like wearing three layers now. and i totally cant believe i woke up at 7.30am this morning. why the hack did i wake up that early.. omg. i feel like sleeping but i rather go shopping first. hahah. (:
i wanna buy a whole lot of things! shall i put my never ending shopping list here?

COLLEEN'S NEVER ENDING SHOPPING LIST.

1. Star hoodie
2. Star lanyard
3. Nice small sling bag
4. Mini cubboard to keep accessories
5. My queensway slippers!
6. Nice clothes
7. Nice clothes again
8. Accessories
9. Cute stuff
10. More cute and interesting stuff
11. Mini mirror
12. Handheld purse
13. Shoe
14. High heels
15. Laptop case
16. More hoodies
17. PSP
18. DS
19. more boxers
20. my own bedroom
21. my theme bedroom
22. nice cap
23. && others that i cant think of now..

SEE!? i told u it was a never ending list! HAHAAHH.

Loves!

11112oo8

2008-11-11T23:24:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

Job attachment is finally over. no more free labour! yay! hah. i miss those peeps, they are such nice people. they bought ferro rochers and many other stuff on our last dae! hahahh. how sweet.
Hmm, i brought ah ma out afew daes ago. we went to yishun. glorious glorious shopping! hahah.
den on sundae, we celebrated my parents' anniversary. i din noe wad to give to them. and i noe its abit of a last minute, but i gave them a letter written from deep down in my heart.
den on mondae, me, eunice, kim and jerome went out. we went ang mo kio! we walked around, up and down. hahah. kim was finding for grey shirt and she is one...picky shopper! den we ended up sitting at coffee bean. of all places, why coffee bean! i do not like coffee! but thought their chocolate something something is addictive!
Anyways, todae, i met justin for lunch. well, i ate at home already, so it was more like i accompanied him. den he had to go for work, so i went home. such a boring dae! come on... its a tuesdae! last time, i use to love tuesdae, with all the PCK commedies, i would even rush home to watch! damn.. i miss PCK. whenever i was sad, PCK would defintely be the cure.

Loves!
P.S. I got a feeling that me and ahem is drifting apart. well, i noe we are NOT together, but i truely uely like him..and somehow i feel really sad bout it and i defintely dun wan to tell him. he being so busy, of course wun have time for this kind of things, and plus, i noe he will defintely be angry if im sad over such small things. so i dun wan to tell him, later he scold me den things become worst.. but im used to telling him everything! and now i feel so bottled up. Even when we go out, the feeling is different. i dun even noe wad to feel anymore. its like happy that he is with me physically, or sad cause we rarely talk now and i realli realli do not know.. maybe he likes someone else? gosh, that would realli realli be saddening. is he better of without me? sometimes, i feel like im jus a burden cos i always tell him my problems. and he onced told me he hated pple who keeps crying over small problems. shyt! maybe he hates me. totally messed up.

o3112oo8

2008-11-03T22:02:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

I met justin todae. well, there were the fun times, the okay times, the abit boring times, and the busy times. cos now he currently working so he seems quite busy. always digging his bag, checking his hp, bussinessman yO! the abit boring times is when he is all quiet, thinking... and im like doing nothing, saying nothing. okay times is when he listens to his mp3 and shares it with me. but dam loud la! i could even hear it without having to put the earpiece on. the fun times is mostly the moments jus being with him.. theres more to it la, but complicating and saddening.
Anyways, todae is also my first day of job attachment. its at paramount shopping centre. all we did wad jus counting counting counting. and some data entry. sounds boring? well, it'll only be for this week. next week, i better find a job! i need to save money! omgg. do you noe i feel happy when i save up loads of money?? hahah. i hate spending it cos end up, im left with kosong! and colleen does not like her pockets emptied...(:
well, tomorrow is a brand new dae, and hopefully a better one. tomorrow can wear jeans and shirt instead of office attire!! wheee! office attire being white long sleeved shirt with high waist skirt. yupps. shermaine said i look like some professional. AND THAT IS JUST WEIRD! hahah.
okay, im going for supper now. toddles!

Loves!

o11o2oo8

2008-11-01T18:18:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

Hmm, i haven been updating for the past few daes huh..?
Yesterdae i din go to school! hahah. i was sleeping at home the whole dae! in the evening, i went to elvin's house for his bdae party. it was also halloween! happy belated halloween peeps! anyways, we watched a horror movie, and we, the girls, were totally screaming our heads off even if its within the first 30 mins! omggosh la! den andrea and me had to go to church as we had to sing for the 8pm mass, all saints dae mass. yupps. den after mass, we went back to elvin's house and the rest were in the midst of playing charades. it was dam hilarious! there were words like playboy mansion, bachelor, baka saru, kfc finger licking good etc etc... den we had cake, it was chocolate ice cream cake! it was dam delicious! den we slack for awhile... den we went to the playground. but after playing for like 10mins i had to go home. cos my dad told me to go home before 12. after 12(including 12.01), the gate will be locked and plus, i din have my key. so i had to go home at least 15 mins earlier to avoid being locked out of the house!
Todae, i woke up dam early! like around 8 plus 9? i had to go with my granny to see the ear specialist, currently, she is wearing a hearing aid as her ear membrane broke thus she wun be able to hear without the help of the hearing aid. so todae was jus a checkup.
Oh ya! good news! for the job attachment, i got the one i wanted! the company is eduwealth, i heard they train people to save money or something like that, we have to work mostly with primary kids and maybe some adults. yupps. qarissa and shermaine are doing the same as me, yayness! anyways, we have to wear office attire and i totally din have one, i heard we couldnt wear jeans so yeah.. i told my dad bout it and we went shopping! omgg! its been a long long time since i went shopping with any of my family members. hmm, i bought a high waist skirt and for the collar shirt, i have it at home so we din have to buy one. den we walked around and i saw this realli nice top. haha. its hard to explain and i forgot wad its called. anyways, i could have bought more clothes but my granny was around and she is those kinda person who doesnt like to walk alot so we stopped our shopping trip. sadd. haha.
yupps, i guess thats about it.

Loves!

291o2oo8

2008-10-29T14:13:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

School was boring todae. crystal sat next to me again, she brought the whole stack of newspapers to school! crystal, yi ning, qarissa, shermaine and i were looking through classified for jobs almost throughout the whole dae. haha. found some part-time jobs being: waitress, sales assistant, telemarketing, admin and even chat hotline servicer! LOL! haha. oh ya! the bugis street the stall boss just called me, she said the training is on mondae, 11am sharp start. i dunno if i should work there. cos im expected to open and close the shop, opening hours 11am-10/11pm. yeah.
btw, i'll be having job attachment next week. i signed up for the EDUWEALTH, its some like a training facility where they do training with primary school-ers. besides that, i dun wanna attend the job attachment cos i rather experience something new and get no pay or get a part-time and get pay den attending the job attachment that im not interested in and get no pay. LOL. sounds complicated huh? anyways, todae, i jus remembered that i was suppose to go for an interview and work at some yogurt shop, but i totally forgot about it! goshh, its over already. nvm, i shall call again. haha.

anyways, guess wad! HE'S BACKK!!! hahahh. i heard he had loads of fun, thats good. haha. and he told me he got me something from there.! coolios! cant wait to meet him!(:

Loves!

281o2oo8

2008-10-28T17:12:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Todae is the 28th! whoo hoo! had school todae. it was slackified dude! oh ya! mrs helen tan is our new geog teacher. we had our first lesson with her todae, i found it interesting actually, we are going to start a new topic: natural vegetation. its not exactly new, but we werent taught so much on that chapter. yupps, i LOVE to learn about desforestation, how forest are dieing and it will lead to global warming and so on. menaga, atiqah and me were dam enthu in class FOR THE FIRST TIME! haha. after that we had sleeping time, sleeping time and more sleeping time. and there was maths, last lesson, we also started on a new topic. i din bring my notes todae. haha.

den after school, i went home and changed den i went out to shermaine's house, in amk. julian and jerome were there too. well, the purpose of visiting was to deliver her belated bdae presents from school and to see how sick she was. she told me she was down with a flu this morning so yeah. den when i reached, they were playing rock band, xbox 360. so i jus sat there, i was dam bored! there were nothing to do. they were playing and i jus watched, boring! so i left early, at around 4.30. and here i am, updating my blog.. these daes seems so boring...

;counting down: afew more hours!! haha. cant wait. i'll be waiting for his sms den i can sms him the "WELCOME TO SINGAPORE." hahahahahhh.

Loves!

271o2oo8

2008-10-27T22:33:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

Todae i brought my granny to geylang east to see some chinese medical shop(sin-seh shop?). den we were deciding weather to go visit our old house (sin ming ave) and at the same time buy some cream from the clinic, but my granny kept chaning her mind, and i totally got pissed. she was like "go, dun go. go, dun go. go, dun go." but nvm, tolerate tolerate. but in the end, we went home. and after noeing my parents were at home, and my granny wun be alone at home, i decided to go out with my friends, shermain, julian, jerome and qarissa. i met them at amk. den we went to dhouby gaut. first thing we went there was to see the arcade! haha. alot of ah bengs sehh.. den we went to plaza sing, and as we were walking towards the entrance, i saw starbucks and it totally reminded me of jusin. omgg, he is one of those coffee-lover. anyways, we entered plaza sing and we walked up and down, up and down, not noeing where to go. den they wanted to watch a movie after i left. so when we reached the cinema, there wont any good movies to watch. after that, we went down and walk somemore. we went to see nail polish! and make-ups! whoo hoo! i wan lime green, but thats gonna be so freaky! hmm, den we went to the kopitiam and oh man! their eggys were dam hot yO! hot as in superly deliciously hot. den we bought mini melts to eat with it, we bought grape flavoured, it was okay, but the after taste was kinda weird. i still prefer mint.(:
qarissa and me went home at around 5 plus? den i ate dinner with my family.

btw, i called some availabled jobs: One of the shop in bugis street(interview on fridae), Ajisen jap restaurant, some hamper job with jerome, forgot if there were somemore anot. haha. but hopefully, can find a very good paying job, I NEED MONEY DUDE!

hmm, next topic is... oh ya! tmr got schoooool!!! gosh! i dun wan to go, im feeling switched off and lazy. haha. tmr till wed, we are having normal school lessons, den thurs, we having some job application thing, but not everybody is having it, some do the job thing, the rest do cip. i think i rather go for the job thing, den got experience.(: cant wait!

anyways, guess wad i found out todae. jerome, shermaine's cousin, noes who justin is! WAD A SMALL WORLD! like omgg. they go to the same church. kimberly also goes there and jerome also noes her. lol! wad a connection.!
and counting down, estimated to 1 more dae!! yapeee! haha. but maybe more den its 1-2 daes, cos he said 28, but he also said 5 daes. if counting the 5 daes, means he should be back on the 29. aii ya, dunno la. anyways, hes coming back!! wheee... hope hes having a hell of a time there.(:

Loves!

261o2oo8

2008-10-26T21:10:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Todae is sundae. Its been roughly 38hours since he left singapore. SIGHH! he told me he's coming back on the 28th nite time, its counting down 2 daes more. hmm, i wonder what is doing now.....mmmmm....

Anyways, besides thinking of him the whole time, i was at my friend, shermaine's chalet! it was fun. i went there on fridae. but had to go home and attend a wedding the following morning. so after mass, i went back to the chalet and stayed over till this afternoon and came home, changed, and went for evening mass. after that, went home. boring huh...

hmm, ABOUT the chalet, i met loads of friends, they turned out to be cosplayers, IM NOT. haha. on saturdae, i reached the chalet and there were some of them there already. they were playing cards. and as i din noe them, i felt super leftout. den i was asking to borrow psp to play. and nice enough, one of them offered to lend me. haha. thats friendly! i was surprised and i still am. i mean, honestly, if u had a psp, would u lend it to a total stranger? i wun. haha. but anyways, i played den i went bored again. den i watched them play cards. and soon, i joined them. and we played blackjack. sad sia, bo luck! haha. u noe why?? cos my lucky star (justin) is oversea!! LOL! i was jus kidding. hahaha. after that, we watched simpsons the movie in one of the guy's laptop. den we went for bbq. during the bbq, we had MASHMELLOW!(: yum yumm. and satay, and chicken, and sausages, and beehoon, and prawns, and crabs and more! but i only ate satay, LOVE THE MELTED MASHMELLOW, and 1 taiwan sausage and ate one crab after the bbq. LOL. im dam full!!!(: den most of us went to the playground nearby and played tagged! i started the tag game as usual.. haha.(: RUN PEOPLE RUN! we perspired like hell! we chased the guys. den got small kids wan to join so we chased the kids. hahahaha. after that, we had cutting cake time! aftr cutting the cake, QARISSA went round puting small pieces of cream on our faces. IM TOTALLY GONNA GET HER FOR THAT! im going to have pimples!! haha. anyways, i faster bathed after that. den some of the pple started going home one by one. we may or may NOT see each other again, but can tell they are a very friendly bunch of pple!

Todae, i woke up like 9.55 around there. all thanks to my dad. he called me den the phone vibrate vibrate. so annoying. he keeps asking wad time i go home, i smsed him more den 2o times that im leaving at around 3. omgg. annoying. anways, guess wad we do the whole dae! we slept! until it was 3, den my bro smsed me. den the phone vibrated again. ZzZ. so i checked and i got shocked, i slept since 10 plus to 3. omgg. tired sia. den we went down to have our late lunch, nasi lemak! it was dam delicious! after that i went home, IT WAS A FREAKING ESTIMATED 2 HOURS RIDE LA. wtff......

Loves!
P.S. i miss him. i miss him. i miss him. i miss him.i miss him. i miss him. 2 more daes~

221o2oo8

2008-10-22T00:30:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

ARHHHHHH..... HE'S LEAVING IN 3 MORE DAES!!! ):
nvm. i'll count down when he is gone. haha.
I WANT TO GO SHOOOPPPPPIIINNNGGGGG!!!

Loves!

2o1o2oo8

2008-10-20T18:15:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Todae is the first dae of school after the Ns. It started off by a looonnngggg daydream after waking up. anways, some of people din turn up in school todae, i doubt there is any attendence taking. i dun feel like going school. todae we were told to do some math questions like about 3 pages? den we had to attend some memorise workshop the rest of the dae. lucky i was smart enough not to bring any books.HAH! hmm, but teacher said lessons will resume tomorrow, that sad! sighh. oh ya! the memorise workshop was interesting! we were taught to memorise words and numerous random numbers in order! its dam cool. hmm, we use VAP (Visualize, Association, Pleasure) to help us memorize the words and numbers. and we also used codes to memorize alot of numbers in order. how cool's that! haha.
Anyways, this fridae is Shermaine's bdae chalet! heard theres a bbq. im planning to sleep over. but saturdae, my church choir has to sing for a wedding. i'll see how. and saturdae, Justin is flying off...):
Errrrrrrr.... and uhh... i still love him! whee. he always make my day.(:

Loves!

181o2oo8

2008-10-18T23:48:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Todae i was suppose to meet Kim, i call her my cousin though theres no blood relations. cos her dad and my dad were good friends last time and they are part of my relative list.
ANYWAYS... i was suppose to meet her to accompany her to prepare for a Os. my Ns are over! wuahahahaa. but i had plans with my dad, its a father-daughter thing so i feel quite bad to decline. I call this a 'DADDY DAY OUT', i put it in my handphone calendar.(:
As someone in my family threw away my old roller blades, daddy bought me a new one! it cost about $80? i find it very expensive, thus i'll try to make use of it regularly, at least once every week? hope i can stick to that schedule for long term. haha. After buying the blades, we drove to east coast beach and skate all the way to changi. WALOU! i din noe it'll be that far laa.. my dad said changi, but he din say changi point! how i wished i had my bicycle at that time.. bicycle was so much more relaxing den skating. but oh well, I LOVE TO SKATE! loveyyy! haha. hmm, i wonder if justin likes to skate.(:
but all i noe, GUYS HATE TO SKATE, only like 20% of the whole entire guy population likes to skate. 10% dun mind to skate. and the rest are jus skate-free. hahaha.
anyways, while skating to changi, my dad saw this banner about kayaking and all those water sports. he said that maybe i could join, I ONLY HOPE I HAVE TIME FOR THAT.. but i am interested. sound so excited! hmm, den we passed OBS, i heard people screaming. like whoo hooooo. so fun! oh ya, i also saw some high elements equiptments, ohh i love those. i still remember my sec1 camp. hmm, issit sec 1 or pri5. I FORGOT ALREADYY. so many, so confusing. but i jus love it anyways.
Hmm, tomorrow is my mum's bdae, its my auntie's bdae too! they are twins.(: and im proud to be related to a twin. lol! todae we celebrated at jack's place at PP, i ate fishy fish fish! so did my granny. but din had any dessert..): I WAN MY DESSERT!!! anways, aftr that we went to cold storage to buy grocery shopping. we bought like a whole lot of things! surely cost more den $100!
BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, 6 more daes to saying goodbye to justin. he is flying off!! (sadd)
HE IS GOING AWAAYYYY... SAD FACE.... gonna miss him. he'll be gone for 5 daes, thats wad he said. hmm, i wonder if i could send him off.. but his friends and family are sure to be there, i dun think i should disturb rite.. feel very odd. BUT I MISS HIM TO BITS. goshhh.. TIME PLEASE MOVE FASTER. i love yoouuu!

Loves!

151o2oo8

2008-10-15T22:55:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

I feel dam sad and moodless now. i admit, the "ahem" was Justin. he jus toked to me on msn afew mins ago. we kinda quarrelled. i feel so terrible now cos i jus said something terribly wrong and now everything is WRONG.
well, he read my 10 oct post and he said something like why do i sound like he jus dumped me or something. well, i do admit we are not in a relationship now, but i realli love him. and jus becos he asked me that, i nervously jus said that i wasnt toking about him. and that was realli dumb of me. well, guess wad, now he thinks i like somebody else, which i dun! after that, i told him that i was bluffing him about the "i wasnt toking about him" thing and he said he din trust me. and the quarrel began. every word he said jus hurt me so badly.
i realli regret wad i said. i do love him, more den anything else. oh gosh, im realli sorry. well, i doubt he noes how i feel. he tok like as if i was debating against him, like as if he din feel the same way i feel about him. i did tell him that i will wait aftr he told me he din wan to get into a relationship, i will still wait. even after my other friends say he wasnt worth it, i think he is worth a whole lot, thus i think i should wait. argh. i jus dunno wad to do anymore.. everything seems so terribly wrong.
but just wan to tell him: i love you and you realli hurt me alot.

131o2oo8

2008-10-14T00:45:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

Today i went SENTOSA! with chelsea. haha. jus the two of us, how romantic..
We went to Vivo, den we were finding our way to the shuttle bus, we walked like round and round, asking and asking, walking and walking. we walked one big round and finally ended up at harbourfront interchange. it so happened that me and chelsea had different ways of going there, thus we went round and round and round and round and round..etc etc.
When we reached sentosa, we went to palawan beach first, where there were suppose to be jellyfishes and stonefish, i already saw a jellyfish, i wan to see a stonefish! wheres the stonefish!! anyways, we put our stuff at some cafe's benches and the waiter told us we needed to order something to stay there. so we looked at the menu and wanted to jus order the cheapest thing! which was normally the mineral water.. well, guess wad, the mineral water cost around $3.! and it was totally not worth it. so we ordered ONE glass of 7up so we could mix it with the drink we brought, which is fruit punch. 7up with fruit punch, yumm... anyways, guess how much is A glass of 7up! $4! for such a small cup...plus service charge and gst, it totaled up to $4.30.
den we walked over the bridge to the tiny tiny island, and there was a group of malays, they keep giving mouse-y sound, so irritating. feel like bringing a cat to CATCH those mouse. haha. jus kiddin. den when we were about to walk back, they called. so happens that the young malay guy wanted my number, and he is so cute with his dyed hair and all. but i din give my number! haha. unlike those ah lians who anyhow give number to pple.(no offence)
anyways, den we went back den play water den ate some sandwiches den took a tram to siloso beach. there, we played volleyball most of the time. there was this guy, he taught us how to play properly. from den, we played the proper way. now we planning to go sentosa everyweek! haha.
hmm, i think theres no more already.

P.S. im on the phone with bryan now, i admit, he sounds THE SAME. dots....

Loves.

1o1o2oo8

2008-10-10T23:57:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

I dun think me and ahem will go out much during this holidae anymore.. well, somethings happened and i totally respect his decision. but somehow, i jus realli dun understand or maybe i jus dun wan to accept the fact. i realli love him, and i always will, truely! as wad my friend told me. if the guy was realli meant for u, u two will always end up together, no matter wad conditions we might face. well, that realli comfort me alot. i jus hope i will remember that, noeing that im a very forgetful person. meanwhile, maybe i shall train up alittle, improve my inner self-confidence. haha.

recently, i was out finding jobs. its realli hard. almost got into some but after awhile, i kinda dislike it due to some reasons like finishing work at 1.30AM?!?!?! thats like the next morning! im sure my dad wun allow. hmm, i realli need to find a job, fast! i went to like petshops, starbucks, swensens. well, they allow aged 16. but the swensens one needs to be minimum 3 months, and when i told the manager okay, i'll work 3 months, his face totally changed from friendly to a "i dun think i'll wan to hire you" face. but i kinda admit that the manager looks dam hot! haha.

and for the past few daes, i've been hanging out with chelsea, my twin! haha. she was supposedly finding for a job. but cos she is only 15 so there isnt much opportunity for her thus end up, she accompanies me to continue in search of jobs.
hmm, im still cant get over the fact of his decision. but LIFE STILL MOVES ON..

Loves!

o81o2oo8

2008-10-08T00:47:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

Todae i had my POA paper (Accounts). i always suck at it, no matter how hard i try. anyways, its also my LAST N LEVEL PAPER! which means.... no more paper till next year! thats if i enter sec5.
Well... im not quite sure of where to go. cos i noe if i enter sec 5, im afraid i will not be able to cope cos of all the "O lvl is harder den N lvl". and if i go ite, its another 2-3 more years before i enter a poly. i want to go temasek poly and take up the designing courses, it can be interior design or exterior design, wadeva. and another interest is photography. im still looking if i should take that course.
If i enter a sec 5, i will have to face all the studying subjects. Whereas ITE, its a hands-on thing. and noeing such a person i am, im more to a hands-on. but if i got ITE, i would only have an ITE cert, and 2 extra years than when i move on the sec 5. I would want to go sec 5 cos its a faster route? but its a harder route. sigh.
I think i should stick to moving on to sec 5. and see my N lvl results.
MEANWHILE... NO SCHOOL MEANS HOLIDAE! HOLIDAE MEANS SHOPPING SPREEE! haha. but i should also spare a thought for those who are still having their exams! jia you! good luck yO! Anyways, im finding a part-time job for the holidaes. so i can save more money in my bank!(or for my shopping spree bank). haha. i have to go back to school on the 20th october, classes will be resumed. so its like a 1 week and afew daes break.
And hopefully, me and ahem can go out after his exams.! haha.

Loves!

o31o2oo8

2008-10-03T21:49:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

Todae i had math paper 2 and geog paper. sian.. last nite, somehow i couldnt study no matter how hard i tried, i would always get distracted.. but anyways, i managed to study abit abit, and continued the rest this morning. anyways, my bao bei hp kena confiscated yO! todae i fought with my dad from 5.30 to 6.40 around there, long sia. i cried all the way, jus imagine that! anyways, forget abt that. hmm, let see... is there anything to update?

oh yess... 30sept is arianti bdae!! hahha. i loovvveeee my mummy yO! haha.

and 1st october 2008 is... JUSTIN'S 16th BIRTHDAEE!! HAHA. we went out in the evening, at around 8? we walked to cineleisure and watched a movie, it was a sucky movie but we had to choose it cos all the good shoes had bad timing.! although we din do much, but i guess the feeling of being together jus means alot to me. siann, sad that it ended off with a big blow. my dad just had to interfere... darn! sad ending huh, its a long story. hmm, i hope i din ruin it for Justin, i realli hope i din.
anyways, i would like to wish HAPPY BIRTHDAE JUSTIN!(:

loves!

o7o9o8

2008-09-07T19:12:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

YESTERDAY(saturday) WAS SOO DAM FUN! i went out with justin the whole entire dae! GUESS WHERE WE GO?!!

at first, we went to tenah merah to take bus to some place for lunch. the food was fantastic! he ordered fish and chips and shared with me. den we went walk walk, walked to some park-looking place. got playground! but he said it was dirty..lol. anyways, den we talked and talked, forgot wad we talked about.. den we decided to go marine parade library to study, cos the objective of this meeting is to study together and attend mass. BUT! after boarding the bus, we din alight. and soon, we found out that we jus went from marine parade den through kallang, den went into the city and ended up passing VIVO CITY.. HOW FAR IS THAT! den we finally alighted at the terminal which i did not noe where.. and boarded another bus which was driving against the route where we were previously. and stopped outside st pats. haha. it felt like we jus travelled half of the ENTIRE SINGAPORE! at around 5.45, we were still thinking of rushing to church for mass. but too late, he doesnt like entering mass late. oh well... that, i mus learn from him, not to go for mass late. haha. anyways, aftr seeing the time pass so fast while still sitting on the bus, we decided not to go and go for a walk instead. so we alighted at douby gaut station's bus stop and walked to plaza sing. den he bought a javachip from starbucks and went walking in circles through levels. haha. it was dam hilarious. i bet the people at the stalls would be staring at us, thinking "why are these two clowns walking in circles?!?!?" haha. anyways, he bought takoballs! dunno why he doesnt like it but i loved it! like OMG!i love takoballs! hahaha. den we were "waiting for the lift" but actually we jus ate the takoballs there. after eating finish, we got "impatient" waiting for the lift and took the escalator instead. haha. IT WAS SO DAM FUN.

hmm, todae, my family is celebrating my 2nd bro's 20th bdae.. jus to think of it, IM THE ONLY ONE LEFT THAT IS IN MY 10s...all 20 and above already. omgg, so old. hahaha. had chocobanana cake and it was simply Deelishhh! sadly, something happened but i dun wanna tok abt it, cos it jus reminded me of my bdae. SAD CASE.

anyways, tmr got school! BIG SIGH... but nvm, im going out with yi ning tmr! haha. SHOPPING!!! whoo hooo! i hope i can go, cos i scared my teacher will make us stay back for not finishing the whole ten year series book. LIKE OMGG. hope tmr will be a good and fine dae!(:

btw, TODAE IS VINCENT ANG BIRTHDAEE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAE DUDE!(:

o5o9o8

2008-09-05T10:29:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

About the last post, he told me that he wasnt the one who typed it and it was his friend... so yeah. But damn! his friend is irritating!

Anyways, todae my bball friends and i are gonna celebrate elvin's ORD at charlene's house... dunno if i should go for mass todae... nvm, i'll jus follow my family. they go, i go. haha.

im like so boredd now. last nite, i had movie marathon till the wee hours in the morning. i watched like hancock, wild child, make it happen, love guru and the rest i forgot.. now im gonna watch "where in the world is osama bin laden" and "angus, thongs and the perfect snogging", i dun even noe wads in the movie but my friend wanted me to watch so... at the most is close my eyes! oh ya! i also wan to watch "space chim" the monkey is sooo cute. oh! and the robot movie... err, the name is...OH! WALL-E! haha. another cute movie.. anyways, im gonna watch now. cya!

28o8o8

2008-08-28T17:06:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

not sure why, but these few daes, i have loads of ups and downs.
hmm, first of all, Jaacob and i broke up. so fast rite..): it lasted less den one month! and we broke up afew daes before our one month anniversary. well, he did ask many times for patch, but i rejected cos i dun think it has any meaning anymore. we have our differences and all, and we would argue of small things. we did try to tok about it to try to solve the problems but i guess things din work out. so here i stand while another figure beside me is fading away.. anyways, i got over it. lol. well, the last time i talked to him, was 2-3 daes ago? he told me something like "i lose face going out with you cos you are too short." LIKE WTF?!?!?! haha. i bold it. anyways, out of anger i jus said "FUCK YOU" and blocked him. from den, i never wanted to tok to that person. so annoying. pple was born short, and it isnt any of his problem.. plus, he is also short, well... taller den me but short for a 17 year old GUY. usually guys are taller den girls of the same age.. he is considered short yet he complain about me?!?

k, anyways, im glad to have other friends supporting me. jaacob told me that on msn and at that time, i was chatting with numerous pple online too. and aftr he said that to me, i complain abt he to ALL the people i was chatting with. haha. too bad, who ask him to say me that. NOBODY said that before in my life, and he just had to ruin my self-esteem..

anyways, thats one problem... hmm, prelim passed and most of the results came back.
some subjects like mathematics, i deproved...): very sad... but most i improved!(: happy again. haha. so far i failed one subject out of five. which is considered not bad for me so far..... hmm, highest is my PHYSICS! its like an OMG! i totally expected getting like a just pass for combine science(bio+phy) and always failing physics badly like getting single digit or 20 plus. never once above 35. and now i have like a 70% for physics!! whoo hooo!!! hahahahahahahaha. dam happy. as soon as i got the paper, i was like crying! some of my classmates even thought i failed badly.. but omg, i still cant believe it. IS THIS EVEN MY PAPER??!?!? whoo hooo!! hahahaha. second paper i had 68% which is for english.. not bad though but must improve! den next comes mathematics with 65% for paper one, i wonder wad did i get for paper 2, MRS KUAN! WHERE IS MY PAPER TWO!!!!): and so far, paper one, i deproved... sadd! the last paper i passed was obviously chinese...i passed on the dot! hahaa. 50% like PHEW..i better not fail this or my mother is gonna get my tuition for all the failed subjects, which i hate! anyways, it was my oral and letter writing that pulled me up, the rest i failed. like cant u believe it?!?!OF ALL THINGS...ORAL???? haha. but glad at least i passed overall, i deproved in chinese by one mark! i had 51% for mid year..DARN!-.-'' den comes the hopeless social studies, i scored 34%. like sh*t rite! oh well, i tried.. but i din improved and i din deproved.. i had 34% for midyear too.I HATE HUMANITIES... =x

hmm, that was for exams, now is general..
so far, i have been going online and watching tv and all.. i noe its a bad sign specially if N lvl is jus next week! my parents dunno anything bout it.. =x anyways, tmr is teachers dae! and i feel like my brain is going to explode! i bought a huge pencil case for ms ho, my art teacher cos she uses rubber band to close her current pencil case as its too fat! and i bought and made a photo/love letter album.. with all out love letters from the whole class. well, its suppose to be a class thing but some people din wan to cooperate so in the end, i wasted my money to plan this.. but i dun care, i think it would be very nice to give her that before i leave this sch, so that she will remember she was once a form teacher of 4N5'o8, with me inside.. who noes, i wun be IJtp next year... i might go another school? haha. who noes? god noes..(:
OH ya! almost forgot... last saturdae, my family celebrated my 1st bro and dad's bdae in pasir ris. we had 2 venues.. my dad's party was at the chalet while my bro's party was at the event hall near the chalet. my relatives were invited to the chalet and my friends were at the event hall. invited my cousin, kimberly over to the event hall anyways, she is the same age as me and theres like abit of a age gap so i din wan her to be lonely at the chalet. well, many things happened and it all went by so fast.): first i knew i was with my friends drinking beer with 7-up and the next thing i knew it, i was lieing on a mattress smsing justin till we both fell asleep, i think it was about 2 in the morning? anyways, i had fun and thats all that matters.(:
i gtg now, im hungry... mus go find makan for dinner!(:
p.s. i hope my parents are not reading this or they'll just chop me up from head to toe. =x

31o7o8

2008-07-31T22:16:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

hahahahaha. these few daes have been fine. met this guy... his character is quite good la... dunno how to explain la. anyways, he is soooo understanding, well, so far, he is ONE of the most understanding person la.. but haven see his true colours. later his true colour is scary den i run away.. heheh. hmm, okay la, i'll spill the beans. he is my boyfriend. and unfortunately, alot of pple noes him, wun tell you his name, later u say u noe him den realli nth to say.. in my own class, i think abt 3-4 pple noe him? how would i noe if theres more pple who noes him. den in other classes, there are more pple who noe him too. OMGG. den his friends are like almost everywhere! which is scary... okay la, he being 'mr popular', im like abit of a nobody beside him, but nvm. hmm, oh ya, den its SOOOO hard to go out with him, knowing that im trying to avoid meeting his friends. i heard stories laa, so better to be safe den sorry. but, todae when i went out with him, we bump into like some of his friends.. DARN, no more low profile... so now i dun realli care weather we "accidently meet his other friends" already. haha.. a friend told me "better enjoy having a boyfriend while you still have". but the thing why i dun wan to bumb into his friends is that i dun wan them to be judging me to him or anything. its jus annoying.. later his friend tell him something den he go follow his friend den leave me alone! waaa, i'll cry... anyways, now is treasure treasure treasure, mus last long long.. ohya, now he playing dota with his friend. jus got off the phone with him.(: better not disturb a person while playing, or you will end up hearing vulgarities in the end... so beware..
oh ya, recently, there was this number who smsed me. it bugs me okay! the number is sooo familiar but i tried calling, he/she wun pick up. den when i reply. his/her reply is so mushy... that bugs me. WHOSE NUMBER PLEASE OWN UP. OR ELSE AFTER KNOWING WHO YOU ARE, WATCH OUT.... irritating laaaa.....
tomorrow got camp at 7pm, lor low koon, seriously, i dunno where is that... omgg. later lost. sighh, den aftr school, mus chiong home... i haven pack camp bag yet.. =x packing aftr updating blog. plus! tmr is also the first day of 7 month... scary... tmr 7 month start and im having a 3 day 2 nite camp... i better stay close to my friends and my baobei handphone.(:

p.s. we are saving money together but not gonna tell you for wad.. HOW SWEET IS THAT. hahahahahahahaahahaaa. bet not alot of pple do that.

byees!(:

o7o7o8

2008-07-07T22:10:00.003+08:00

some survey, bored den do lo..(:
copy and paste and do it in ur blog if u wan.. haha. thanks danielle.

1. How long would u wait for someone u love?
` Depends on how deep it is.
2. What do you hope for now?
` Pass my N-lvl, hopefull go to sec5. Cannot den go ITE.
3. What is der last thing u say/do if tml is der end of der world?
` I will tell everybody wad life is worth and for the last hour, i shall say my final prayer.
4. Do u hate ur frenz sometimes?
` Err, not really hate. although i admit i dislike some people. But definitely not hate.
5. What's ur favourite colour?
` Blueeee...(:
6. Do u believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?
` I guess so. i saw it a couple of times.
7. Will u be happy, if the one u love is happy?
` Sure. Everybody, anybody happy, im happy.
8. What are u listening now?
` FM Static. They have really cool songs. And the singer sounds hot!(:
9. Are u happy with ur life now?
` Yeah, its great so far... though sometimes are like sucky.
10. What if ur crush ask u out?
` Go out la... But my crush wun. Waited for him since PRIMARY 5.
11.What would u do if ur crush know u had a crush on him/her?
` I would change crush...... juskiddin.
12. What feelin do u hate most?
` Feeling of regret, misunderstood and loneliness all mixed up.
13. U r currently in?
` Im in secondary 4 laa. N lvl coming soon.
14. What r u lookin forward to der outcome weeks?
` Anything interesting to happen.
15. The most inportant person in ur life?
` One word. GRANDMA! My number one!
16. Who do u hope to be always there for u?
` Im not sure.. People who are close to me i guess. Specially my family, my church and school friends.
17. Do u ever find life meaningless?
` Nope. And i don't want to.
18. What if u believe that there is 'True Love'?
` I do believe, but many times, these two words play tricks on me.
19. What if u lose someone important?
` You mean my grandma? I WILL COMMIT SUCIDE.
20. Can u forget abt der past easily?
` No i dun. And i want to. Help me to forget THAT IDIOT!

P.S. FM STATIC ROX LIKE HELL.... WOOHOOOOOOOO.(:
oh ya! tmr start school le. got school means mus take public bus in the morning. mus take bus, means i get to see my BUS STOP BOY!! yay! he is sooo cute! omg, i like some stranger.. dots....

o4o7o8

2008-07-04T23:05:00.002+08:00

Its been SIX FREAKING months i waited for bryan. i give up. he doesn't talk to me anymore, doesn't even talk to me as a friend. why should i treat him good. he its not the only guy on earth rite? sighh...

well, i thought everything would be over since june holidaes. but i guess not. since then, i still think of him but very rare. but recently, his friends show up in my hp screen. and soon, we began talking for like 2-3 daes? and bryan seemed quite angry about it. like wth... what has my life got to do with him. if he doesn't even care about me anymore, why should he care about who talks to me, even if the person im talking to turns out to be his friend? it makes no sense. because of him, his friend is not talking to me anymore. lol. GUYS ARE SO CHILDISH. only noe how to fight fight fight. at least girls, we noe how to ignore, but noo.... guys like to show their pride. so irritating. during the pass few months, i haven been toking to any guys(it was an improvement). but aftr awhile, they started talked to me. first was _ a _ _ _ b, he is a nice guy. he was dating a girl from my school when we started talking. but afr that, something happened(shall not elaborate). aftr him, was bryan's friend lo. only talked to two since last week till afew daes back. anyways, _ a _ _ _ b is not in singapore, dunno when den he coming back. oh guess wad. he gave my number to this unknown guy, L _ _ u _, i was sharing wad he typed to me to my friend, cassy. and we were like laughing at the "EUU" and the "DE"(i noe i use to type like that, but i changed!). it was hilarious. den she suggested to me wad to type back. and suddenly, she said "i like this guy..." and i was stunned. den i was like "oh..my..gosh!!! im soooo gonna tell him!" den i typed "btw, my friend told me he like you.", den i noticed there was a typo error, it was suppose to be a she not a he. eww, sound so gay. anyways, i send that and we carried on laughing.
wanna noe how the convo turned out?

L: lol. how old are euu?
C: ermm, sorry but Age is a woman's secret. and what is EUU?
L: YOU la. so how old are euu?
C: ohh. hmm, dun wan to tell YOU. btw, my friend told me he like YOU.
L: issit? what is his name?
C: oh, sorry. Name is a gay's secret so cannot tell.
L: lol. okay.(forgot the rest)

den i din reply aftr that. hahahahahaa. now maynot be funny but at that time, it was hilarious!
he has a very nice name, but his typing is like ah beng.. I DON'T LIKE!!! thats exactly wad i said the whole entire time, from lunch at kfc all the way to aftr one hour, at ntuc. I DON'T LIKE.... i find guys typing "euu" is abit gay! girls type "euu" its okay.(: more reasons to be a girl! haha.

anyways, todae in school, we celebrated youth dae. its quite fun. but had to do 1 hour of skipping? wthh.... hmm, aftr school, crystal, lynn, yi ning, bridget, cass and i went to kfc to eat lunch. i ate mash potato.(: wanted to save money and kfc is so much of fatty food so bought the smallest portion. aftr that, yi ning, bridget, cass and i went to orchard and we met iylia. and we all went happily to taka. den we went downstairs cos iylia wanted to buy smtin to eat. so when we got downstairs, there was a food fair! and when there is a food fair, there will be FREE SAMPLES! HAHA. sound so budget rite. but i den dun wan to waste money to buy. might as well save rite? omgg, i MUST comment the italian pizza was THE BEST! omg, im so attracted to the pizza, i feel like marrying the chef!(: jus kiddin... the chef is italian. anyways, i got the catering service namecard, hope i helped in finding my bro's 21st bdae party catering service. their food is realli good! aftr that, we went to kinokuniya(dunno how to spell). I DUN LIKE THAT PLACE. its full of JAPANESE JAPANESE. so obviously, i was bored and showed my true colours(craziness). i read every book as if i din noe how to read. it was so fun. my friends had to blind me to stop me from reading and irritated them. wuahahaha. serve them rite for going into that shop..

hmm...LIFE IS INTERESTING. got ups and downs. tomorrow have art class... ahhhhh. dun feel like going. I WANT TO SLEEEEEP. damn it. its from 9am-5pm! like as if my eyes can't take enough of my drawing. going to sleep now. can't stand it. todae's post is so long! NITES PEEPS!

o4o62oo8

2008-06-04T22:26:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

im back from phuket!(:
im happier at least. haha. took loads of photos. the place was so dam freakin nice! plus, i had the whole king size bed for my own! with loads of pillows all over, felt like royalty. yay!
sad, no more. left all those royalty at phuket. lol. although, i brought home a small cute little pet. name him patrick, cos he is a starfish! and i din noe wad else to name him. he is smaller then the palm of my hand and his colours are, background: black, patterns: yellow and orange. looks rather poisonous though. i went to research wad he eats. mini animals, decaying plants, mussels, oysters. can't believe it. anyways, im feeding it decaying plants and tiny piece of fish. hope they can satisfy patrick.(:
anyways, so far, things have been okay, slow acutally. went to school yesterdae for art, and found out i had cca too till 5. but it ended early so my friends and i went to plaza sing to shop shop shop! yay for shopping! oh ya, we went into this shop where u can build ur own bears and soft toys. like omg! people actually so much spend money for soft toys. how rich! its like a mini giant store, only without the food. we watched this couple buying a bear, omg... how rich is that guy! is that loving or spoiling a person? i have no idea. maybe somebody can debate on that topic. lol. and, and, the shop gives cetificate for the soft toy. like birth dates and all. they realli noe how to treat a soft toy like pets! p.s. i love the husky. its soooo cute! adorable! lovable! but i still think the real life husky is better.(:
theres nothing much to post right now. having no idea wad to do to spend my holidaes. hmm, anybody wans to go out? let me noe.(:
todae suppose to go kbox with my friends, but yet again, im not very experience in kbox, so din realli wan to spoil their fun. dunno la. anyways, i can't wait to go for another shopping spree. too bad, yesterdae, i din had money on me. or i will spend spend spend! now looking for a start hoodie. maybe i'll go to bugis to find.. hmm, should i go tomorrow? or fridae aftr cca? shall call my friends later or tomorrow. =x hope its not too late to ask them out!
this sundae, cannot miss it okay! 10.30pm, channel 5, pushing daisies. i saw the advertisement about it. looks interesting. with a touch, the dead comes alive.. how interesting! well, this is wad i usually do when im bored. i look for good movies to watch for the next few daes. sadly, i have no HBO or STARmovies, where they show good movies like everydae!
next saturdae, theres some mini game dae. my neighbour invited me to go. i missed out last week's one.. sadly.... so i think i should go for next saturdaes one.
theres nothing to update already..): nothing much happening.

byess!

23o5o8

2008-05-23T20:57:00.003+08:00

Dear Diary,

so many things happened since i last blogged.wow. 13 april was the last post. it has been almost 1 month since i even used the computer. having to study for mid-year and all, it was just too busy.

updates!
todae i had like ENGLISH ORAL PRELIM. it was scary, my examiner was mrs nicholas, she is so cute but her english is just sooo pow-der-ful! i think im gonna pass but i doubt i can pass with flying colours and rainbow and birds flying and all those stuff la.
anyways, besides having my oral, todae my school celebrates founder's day, which is the last day of school for me. but tmr is gonna get scary, its parent teacher meeting. my parents actually din have to meet my teacher but they said they had SOMETHING to tell my teacher. so suspicious, so mysterious at the same time.

for me, i think i did well for my mid year this year. well, at least i noe i realli studied real hard , chionging since beginning/mid april. passed 4 subjects, failed 3. sadly, i knew i din do the best i could but i did try. i passed my chinese(improved), my science(first time in secondary), mathematics(80+%) and art. failed english(sadd), poa and humanities(suckyy).

well, not only is tmr parents teacher meeting, its augustine's 21(think so) bdae party. augustine is my brother's friend, which is also my friend but rarely talk, super rare.(: knew him from church. anyways it starts at around 6pm from wad i heard.(:
tmr is the 24th, which COULD also be me and justin's 3 month anniversary. could, i repeat COULD. lol. its also my 2nd month break up anniversary with him too..

anyways, change subject. now i totally treat him as a friend, though somehow he treated me like a total stranger during ij fiesta. besides, i like somebody else. BRYAN! but unfortunately, from wad i discovered from my friend is that he doesn't miss me or at least think of me at all, not even as a friend. wtff. aftr knewing that, i cried like almost immediately. he is a total fucker i tell u, stupid asshole. for all these daes since december last year, i've been thinking about him secretly, hoping one dae can patch up and this is wad i hear. fuck fuck fuck. heart dam pain. sighhh...
i actually asked my friend to help me find out if he is still single or attached. and she just had to carry on to ask him if he misses me. if i din noe abt that, i wouldn't be so heartbrokened. but on the bright side, at least i noe i wun have to waste more fucking time. pls dun mind my vulgarness, jus vry sad, angry, heartbrokened right now.

this mondae, im going to thailand(and i hope i nvr need to come back), but i do hope that when i come back, i can start all over again.
i once lost my boyfriend, my bestfriend den my church friends, and all those made my world upside down. so i do realli hope that everything would change by the time i get back. everything be gone! lalala. besides, who needs a boyfriend when u have soooo many girlfriends beside u.(though, most of them only tok to me in school. outside school is a whole new different story.) but who noes, i might even turn into a lesbian(which i cannot even imagine mysef having short hair).

but one thing im totally sure of is that, my mission for this june holidae is to lose a whole hell of alot weight. so if anybody free, dun come and ask me to go out and eat. go out and shop i dun mind. even best if u wan to challenge me to a badminton/tennis match. though i suck at it, i will try and learn and win. wuahaha.

byess!
to ya'll my girlfriends. THE EXGOTS RULE!(:

19o4o8

2008-04-19T22:13:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

TODAE WAS SO DAM FUN!
first i went to school(okay, this is not the fun part) for social studies and geography extra classes. from 8 and ended about 11.30-11.45? after that, Arianti, Atiqah and me, changed our clothes in class!! jus as atiqah was about to take off her pinafore, sin min opened the door, we practically screamed our lungs out(i guess this is how an all girls' sch is like). haha. but its jus the pinafore. we wore our shorts and blouse inside. hahah.
anyways, we met up with Iylia and Qarissa later on, outside school.
den we headed for CHANGI BEACH where we had our 'INSANE FAMILY OUTING'. haha. the word "insane" has a long story behind it, dun ask. lol.
anyways, we had soooooo much fun there!
first we unpacked all the food, sat in a circle and have our little picnic(so cute). and as usual, phototaking! hahaha. aftr that, some of us went to the sea to play water. haha. i was like some small kid, play water!! so fun!! LOL!
ANYWAYS, we played with the sand too! and we made a wonderful discovery that at changi beach, the dam sand is filled with WORMS underneath. YUCK! disgusting! gross! freaky! and wadeva other yucky disgusting gross-i-fied freaky words. haha. there were fat worms, long worms, short worms, dead worms.. eee. so aftr awhile, we played at the dry white sand. where there were NO worm. guess wad, we burried Arianti's foot! the sand was all the way up to her knees(thanks to Qarissa, our sandmaker, Atiqah, our water collector, Me, water pour-er(lol), Iylia, our photographer, Arianti, our standing model). aftr Arianti's foot, we moved on to burry Atiqah whole body. haha. hope there were realli no worms inside there! (cunning smiley face)
I tried to sun tann mysef but, the sun was not that strong(while, thats wad i thought), but i came home and found a weird tann. parts of my shoulder which was covered with my hair most of the time looked lighter den my arms and all. ahhh, all different colour. (sad face)
aftr awhile, Arianti and Atiqah went to take a shower and change into clean, not wet clothes. while Qarissa, Iylia and me looked after the bags..
After having a quick shower, we all were in another circle, snacks were passed around, sparkling juice(which looked like real wine bottle) was opened, guess wad. ITS GRAPE! yay! aftr that, we took picture. Arianti and Atiqah was wearing 'Little Miss' shirts(i should have brought my 'Little Miss Fun' too)(sad face). However, Qarissa was wearing the same shirt as me(happy face), our class jersey with the weird line at the bottom. left poor Iylia, she was wearing her own home clothes.
aftr all the packing up and walking to the changi village, Qarissa and I took bus 59 to toa payoh where i took bus 8 (double-decker! yay.) home.

now, i can't wait to see all the pictures taken during the whole trip. i guess in total, there should be MORE than about 100? hahaha. thats how much photos i felt we took.(:
CHEERS TO THE INSANE FAMILY!

Loves.

13o4o8

2008-04-13T18:28:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

it has been such a long time since i last update you.
well, everything has been going smoothly the pass few daes, except for my emotional stress disorder(i learnt that from a book).
everydae, i've always been thinking, which life is better. having a bf? or without one.? now, while in the midst of not having one, im more of a quiet, lonely and mostly no mood to do anything, but still cheerful person, hanging out with my family most of the time(but still no shopping, thats sadd). on the other hand, while having a bf, i would be like happy, cheerful kind of person. everydae looking out of incoming smses or calls, hoping to meet him everydae(mostly on the happy side i guess).
i wonder if i can all of the above, right now..

i have a best friend, her name is cass. i always tell her almost everything, we would eat recess together, go lunch together before cca.
but all of a sudden, here comes 'spoil-a-lot', _ _ _ _ _ _ _, she noe i've been sticking with cass and she jus had to take her away. now, we seldom go for recess together, seldom eat lunch together before cca, left me feeling dam lonely in school.. of course i would look for my other good friends but cass was like... my talkative partner. i would always have something to say to her, not sure why. well, this is a problem i can't solve. of course i wun tell _ _ _ _ _ _ _ to stop pestering her cos im not of such person. besides, im not angry with her or anything. she was the one, who din want to tok to me, avoid me and start a big commosion about the fashion show thing with me. i even said sorry even noeing im not at fault (but nooooo, she wouldn't accept it). certainly nthing i can do.

anyways, those are like the general updates...
now, i shall type the everydae update.

FRIDAE, 11-o4-o8
my buddies and i attended a drama performance at SJI by SJI. we, of course, got it for free.(:
its from my cca(ELDDS) teacher. the performance started at 8pm but we had to be sitted by 7.30pm so we had to rush home aftr cca(which ended at 5.30pm) and meet back at toa payoh interchange at 7pm.
aftr the performance, we wanted to go for supper(we din eat dinner) some wanted to go toa payoh, some wanted to go bishan. so we split up. i couldn't decide where to go which made me lose my appetite so me and xue qi went home. we had a direct bus, 151.
on the bus, bryan called me, i din noe it was him so i answered the call(obviously im trying not to answer bryan and jusin's calls). anyways, we talked and he dragged on talking. i knew i had to put down the call before entering the house cos of some major reasons(not only my parent's).
as i knew this call was going to take up time, i took the longer path home. we talked about all the "how are you" and all. den i told him about the two people who asked me for my phone numbers in public(it happened quite recent). as soon as i saw the house, ended the call(jus on time).
ended up reaching home at around 10.30pm plus. watched tv till around 1am.

SATURDAE, 12-o4-o8
todae i had to wake up at 6 plus going 7 as i had to report at 8 or 8.30am, at Nanyang JC for my PFT 2.4km run. i was obviously scared, knowing i would fail. i could easily pass my 5-items but my 2.4 run was a disaster most of the time. highest i acheived throughout my secondary school life, was a silver. anyways, i was running in the first batch. my legs literally shaked before i even started running. during the run, i kept finding ways to pay attention away from the tiredness. aftr the first round, i notice by looking at the floor was a wonder option to attract attention away from all the tiredness. aftr the next round, i started competing with my own shadow(i noe it sounded stupid, but it kept me going). aftr the first few rounds, i finally couldn't take it anymore. i started to slow down. as soon as i wanted to brisk-walk, jenette(lynette's sister) ran up to me and cheered me on. she dragged me, shouted at me, pushed me, shouted at me more(such a nice friend, though i dun realli noe her so well). it was realli nice of her. she helped me pass this year, my timing was 17.31(passing timing was 17.50). yea, thats right. I PASSED MY 2.4KM RUN! HAHAHAHAAHA. THANKS JENETTE!(:
aftr my last round, i couldn't feel my legs, it was all wobbly. though i passed, i was one of the last few.. but still, at least i wasn't the last.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _came running in the finish line aftr me. she failed so she was all upset. i noe im not suppose to tell anybody but well, i blanked her name out rite? anyways, she she cheated. she took another piece of paper and rewrote her timing, making her pass. her last timing from 18.00+(failing time) to 17.00(passed). though, i was happy that she din had to retake the run, but that made me officially the last one(thats realli bad for me). well, i THINK im the last, maybe somebody else ran in the finish line before 'you-know-who' which makes me still being one of the last. overall, thanks jenette, ur such a nice friend.

SUNDAE, 13-o4-o8
todae, i went to church. guess who i saw! ritchie! haven seen him for so long. but he still looks as beng-ish as ever. lol. aftr mass, i wanted to go for choir practice. so i got my lunch money and wanted to buy my lunch when i reminded me of my korAlph. he book in army already(very very terribly sad). he was the closer kor now, as my eldest kor is always not at home, chances talking to him is super rare. anyways, i wasn't hungry that time so wanted to eat something 'light'.. who knew, nothing there was 'light'. they had laksa and prawn mee. aftr that, i couldn't decide wad to eat. i wanted to share with my eldest brother but he already sharing with his gf. that makes me a loner. i tried to find steffi and genestine and all but i couldn't find anybody. at that point of time, i realli felt very lonely, like a total loser. loner, loner, loner, loser, loser, loser. den i went to my dad and just told him everything and ended of with "i miss sharing food with kor kor alph." and cried. my dad suggested i follow them cos my eyes were all watery and all. i wiped my tears on my dad's shirt and told me korAloy i wun be going for choir practice.
oh, how i miss having the whole family together... when my both brothers would be at the back of the car argueing or talking about game or wadeva boys tok about. me listening to the radio, my granny looking out the window and my parents infront talking...last time, out 5-sitter car used to be so small, now the 7-sitter car seems so empty.
I MISS KOR KOR. :( badly...

now, on msn, my friend(guy) is jioing a girl and cos of some reasons, he have to delete me and sot of not acknowledge me, even as a friend.
i guess this is my life?

first comes relationship problems, den comes family, now is friends?!?!
i miss bryan...
i miss justin...
i miss my kor kors(family)...
i miss my friends...
i miss my godbros...

wat the fuck is going wrong with my life... ...
i dun wan to be a lonely loser.. and IM NOT one.
this is jus the down side of life. hope the up side of life is coming soon. real soon. :(

3oo3o8

2008-03-30T21:14:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

just got back my hp yesterdae.
but i think i shall jus not use my hp. the past few daes im already trying my best to jus focus on other things.
like reading my book! yeah! im reading books. but now jus finding that damn 2nd book..
"Meri Strikes Back", all on loan!

anyways,
Saturdae, i went to church! had some choir bonding session. its realli fun, heard my brother organise it or something. im realli proud of him. and i lovveeee my brothers all so much.(:
okay, we mostly played games. we had some acting miming game, newly edited spiderweb game using a piece of string, a realli cool acting poker card game, charades and captain ball. some i think i have missed them out. but i jus noticed that mostly was more to acting. kinda reminds me of my eldds, acting acting acting. but overall, i think kor kor has worked great on plannings and all.(:
and, everybody was so enthu! it was amazing. probably my first time seeing everybody, as in everybody who was present to be so into all the activities. haha. that made it more fun. ermm, dunno how to say it but i guess the meaning is already there.

aftr that, we went home. and aftr bathing and all. i sat at my bedroom baywindow and looked through all the stuff that was on it. all the plastic bags, all the presents. and i saw 2 cards with silver enverlopes. i opened and started crying. i tried holding it in, but i guess memories jus gushed into my brain or something. those two cards happens to be anniversary cards from bryan. one had a letter, i read and it was touching! i was jus thinking like, is everything realli over.? one year of relationship all forgotten and inroduced to the past? bryan bryan bryan... justin justin justin... arghh!?%#!!*&! aftr that, i jus stood there crying and jus thinking of all those times. den i turned to miney mouse my gigantic soft toy(i sleep wif her every nite) and jus felt like a loser all of a sudden. ):
hais, aftr awhile, i jus reflected. i noe mysef well, and i noe for me, its totally hard to concentrate doing things when i somehow noe there wasn't anybody i could end of the dae blahh out everything. i couldn't blahh out everything everydae on my blog. cos some are private and confidencial and some are like headaches when comes to think of it and some are like complains and all. =x sighhhh. i guess somethings are not meant to be. i guess im jus not meant to have a bf. well, to look on the bright side, at least i dun have to care how i look anymore. i can be as crazy as i want to like last time.(:

Sundae, went to church in the morning. guess wad. me and my brother, alphonsus, was early for choir practice! hahaha. and my older brother, no where to be found. lol. some may say we have siblings miscommunication problems but, well, sometimes we do tok, jus that its not very often.(:
aftr mass and aftr another choir practice, me and my brother alph, went home and planned to play bball together. turned out, it was raining so best if we din get sick. so we watched tv all dae till around 3 plus? we went to TERMINAL 3!! we walked the whole of it and i think i can already remember where is wad floor. i picturized some of the terminal 3's map. aftr that, we ate at the kopitiam and we ordered like super big grilled chicken when curry rice and 2 sticks of satay wif yummy vegetables and soup! all for $5.50! hmm, i think i shall go there wif my fwens one dae and explore the place. maybe we can play hide and seek! LOL. jus kidding.(: afr that, we came home and my older brother who came from "nowhere" came home and my dad had to fetch him to army camp. bye bye kor kor aloy.. soon it will be kor kor alph! he is going in soon, in april i think. less then 2 weeks to see him, hug him and all. omgg, soon, i will left alone at home. how boring!!! hope my granny would talk to me again.(:

love you loads.

26o3o8

2008-03-26T17:28:00.006+08:00

Dear Diary,

this morning, though i did felt sad that mydad CONFISCATED MY PHONE!!!
and i ended up having to listen to my mp4. which curry sauce accidently burst and dirtied the ear piece. but i still had to use that same ear piece (but i washed most of the stains off) cos i did not have anything else to listen to since my hp is gone.
in sch, i was kinda trying to feel happy. but its jus that no hp, very disturbing.. i was having a feeling like as if something or someone was missing. obviously it was my hp and the who was justin...):
anyways, i tried not to be so sad since i noe justin is like gonna be telling "dun be sad" and all. so yea, i tried to hang out wif my besties! but the thing is... both my partners most of the time have their phone wif them. and they would be smsing in class infront (well, beside) me and having known that my hp is not with me, SADD...
kk, anyways, first period was HHF. it was something like PE but only a different subject and we do it together with the whole level. we ran around the enormously huge school. i forgot how many rounds we ran todae, din realli keep track. but as usual, i would be infront where they say "the slowest runs infront"? so, i think im the slowest. and i want to be the slowest so i can run at my own pase. and as usual, i would run infront and back and infront again and back and infront..
aftr school, lynn, bridget, cass and me, went to eat lunch at the kopitiam located at the interchange downstairs(our usual lunch place). guess wad i ate.... AN APPLE! not that i was on a diet. just that i did not want to spend my plastic notes.(: plus, i din have any coins..
aftr lunch, we walked to toa payoh library and aftr that, cass and i headed down to ntuc where she bought some japanese biscuit and i bought some chocolate thing "voodooo". it looked nice and it was the last one left! but it cost $3.95(there goes my plastic note! sadd).
aftr that, cass and i walked to the busstop while exaimining the "voodooo" chocolate. omgg! it was sooo sweeet!!! aftr eating the first bite, i looked at the nutricient table at the back, OMGG! I JUST BOUGHT SOMETHING THAT CONTAINS A TOTAL FAT OF 15.2G AND CARBOHYDRATE=62.3G!! omgg omgg omgg! fattening!!! and i will feel sad and bad to jus put it to waste. so im planning to give my skinny skinny brother. =x make him fat fat! ha.
anyways, im home now.. chocolate is dumbed in the fridge.(:
and guess wad. my dad jus came home and he jus nagged at me.
"colleen, i told u to ask me for permission to use the computer."
so i asked NICELY! "daddy, can i use the computer for my work?"
and he jus walked off. wth..
totally do not noe wad to feel right now.
anger? sad? depressed? hatred?(of course not, he is my dad aftr all)
but, jusin is gone, my hp is gone, usage of watching tv is gone, now my freedom of using the computer is gone. i wonder wat else will possibly be gone.. practically everything is gone. my life is gone. now only concentrating on study study study.
i shall sing myself a song...
"LONELY!! OH MR LONELY! I AM SO LONELY! IM ALL ALONEEEE! OH WUUUUU!"
yea! i makes me feel better.(: now im gonna listen to my favourite radio channel: 98.7FM. YEA!

p.s. one of my bestie also known as my sister, iylia is gonna give me a handie from maroon5 concert! plus! it has the drummer's signature on it! cool yO!
and guess wad. i lost 2kg. wuahahahaa. feeling great all of a sudden!(:

23o3o8

2008-03-23T19:20:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

im currently feeling very sad now. as i jus broke up wif my bf, justin. i realli love him, like seriously.
afew daes ago, around 2-3 daes ago, i told him abt my parents not letting me have a bf and wad they would do if they found out. yea, as usual, he will feel all concern and caring, which i realli love about him.
so ytd we were discussing abt wad to do and all la. and somehow leaded to separation. yea, i did feel sad and wanted to cry. but i was in church so held it in.
anyways, i noe he broke up wif me was for my own good..
like cos of my parents, plus, he, himself noe that if my parents were to call and question him one dae, he would ans back and all and he din want to get me into trouble.
and and i actually suggested that we could like contact each other in the morning and aftrnoon. but at nite, concentrate on studies and sleep and all. but i guess he din wan our relationship to seem its suffering. u shud noe wad i mean..
and he also noes that next year, he would be busy with his dunno wad army thing. so he wun have enough time to spend wif me. though, i dun mind. but i guess he thinks its not worth it.

the thing is.. he is like one of the two people i love most.. as in bgr. one is bryan, the other is justin. but now bryan claims that he was going to be a playboy and all so now i kinda gave up on him. but justin is like, i dunno how to say. whenever i got any problems, i would always turn to him. and now, the problem is relating him so now, i dunno who i can actually tok to. justin is my angel and he will always be. i can still remember. i was in lower secondary and i accidently forged my parent's signature on my report book due to being scared about my results. and aftr forging, i totally broke down into tears. i din noe wad to do. so i called bryan and i called justin. bryan said not to tell them or i will die. but justin said to tell them. ended up, i told them and my parents din beat or scold me. it was like, whenever i listen to justin, nth bad actually happens, though i learnt my mistakes and all. so somehow, i always think he is my angel. he was always there to help me.
but now, its like i lost all those. though i noe he is still going to be my friend and we still be tokin but somehow, im afraid one dae, i will jus totally lose him and soon, i've got nobody to tok to. like tell my problems and nobody to help me.
anyways, tmr is suppose to be our one month anniversary. and it all jus dissappeared one dae before our anniversary. i've been looking forward to this dae since last month, and now its over. im realli very sad.

i love you.):

15o3o8

2008-03-15T00:21:00.003+08:00

Heyy!(:

nothing much todaee. slacked the wholee dae! =x
haven done my holidae hmwrk yet. SIAN.! and SAD!
haha. but im doing tmr wif my cousin, kimberly! at yishun.
but we watching step up2 before doing hmwrk so we wun get all over excited and all. HAHA.

anyways, todae,
i went to church for penitential service.
its when we have to make confession. and guess wad. i totally blanked out AS USUAL.
like omgg!
i was standing infront of the priest on the altar infront of a whole lot of people.
i was like...

"good morning father."
(WAD THE HECK AM I SAYING?! GOOD MORNING?!?!?! AM I MAD?!?! IT WAS EVENING AND ITS A CONFESSION! NOT A GREETING SECTION!!) lol.

"i did errr*this* and errr err *that*"
(and i totally blanked out. den i ended with)

"and the rest i forgot and i can't realli think of them now."
(WTH?!?! WAD AM I SAYING! OMG!!)

i totally giggled abit and the father was like...
"hmm, okay. " and he said some prayers.

hahaha. it was funny for me man! totally broked down wif laughter aftr that. Zzz. i noe its suppose to a serious thing and all but can't help it. my mind offed by itsef. LOL!

anyways, IM WAITING FOR HIS SMS NOW. he nvr sms me since evening. like around 8 plus? saddd.... now is already 12.30 plus. wonder wad is he doing now... hmmm...(:

13o3o8

2008-03-13T02:50:00.002+08:00

HEY HEY! wassup yO!(:

sryy for not updating ya. haha. kinda lazy and busy. =x
okay okayy.
latest updates!

24 FEBUARY o8
the dae when me and justin DE COSTA are together!(:
love him oh so much. his my guardian angel, my councellor, and my SUPERMAN!(:
his my guardian angel and councellor cos wadeva happens to me, i would tell him. specially, when im crying, the first person i would think of is... JUSTIN! happy or sad moments, scared or lame moments, i jus love to share it with him. haha.
his my superman cos... hmm, not sure why. maybe its cos I WAN A SUPERMAN BOYFRIEND. AHAHAHA. its kinda cool la. superman fly here fly there, picks his gf up and flies off to who noes where. LOL!(:

o4 MARCH o8
my birthdaee! sweeet sixteen! haaha. wheee!! its great to be sixteen.
haha. people at the cinema would be like all paiseh cos they LOVE to ask me for my ic. hahaha.
HAH! NOW, FINALLY MY BIRTHDAE, IM SIXTEEN. theres this auntie at Plaza Singapura, some auntie tearing tickets, she always ask for my age. and loves to call me "xiaO mei mei!"
now, haha. make sure she remembers my age.(: LOL!

o9 MARCH o8
GIGI's birthdae! haha. can say shes like a sister to me la.haha. shes vry nice.(:

1o MARCHo8
MY BIRTHDAE PARTY! hahaha. it was at East Coast Beach. BBQ pit C26. haha. still remembered.(:
it was soooo fun! though it had a little drizzle here and there. but it was so much better then the past few daes, it was raining heavily all over singapore!
RAIN RAIN GO AWAY. PLEASE COME BACK ANOTHER DAY. PEOPLE WAN TO BBQ, ON A REALLY SUNNY DAY.(:
i sang that okay! haha. dunn laugh! LOL!

11 MARCH o8
my parents brought me to see a show.. N16 SHOW in PLAZA SINGAPURA.(:
title was "no country for old man" or something like that.
it was interesting at first... but, COULDN'T UNDERSTAND THE ENDING! WAD A HORRIBLE ENDING I WOULD SAY! haha. no offence la. its jus my opinion. to me, its like the director din wan to direct anymore so he anyhow finish up the story. TOTALLY NO ENDING. omgg.
lucky i din pay for the tickets!(: or it'll be a waste of my savings. LOL! my parents bought it btw. haha.

12 MARCHo8
went out wif kimberly. haha. aftr tat, went to meet this HANDSOME LOOKING GUY named justin de costa AT PUNGGOL. LOL! vry cute la he.. haha. aftr that we went to PLAZA SINGAPURA... omgg, its like im attracted to the place or smtin.. ZzZ. so we walked like up and down and in circles within floors. omgg, jus imagine how bored we were.. haha. but i love to hold his hands. haha.
den aftr that, he fetched me home.(:
on the bus, i got so sleeepy! the weather and the air con! OMGG I TELL YA! so shiokk!
and i looovvveeee to cuddle next to him. haha. dunno why, i felt so drunk all of a sudden. ALMOST kicked two people by accident. ahaha. OH YA! haha. his sooo sweet! he carried my hangbag, i totally felt so majestic. (: I LOVE GENTLEMAN LIKE HIM.
awww, his so wonderful.(:
den i jus got of the phone wif him. haha. i purposely hold him back, dun let him sleep. haha. so mean rite? but, HE DID. until 2 plus going 3! haha. aftr that my hp poor batt jus saved his eyes. haha. the line cut and by the time i went to charge it, he was fast asleep. aww, like a baby. MY BABY.(:

THATS ALL FOR NOW!(:
byeeeee. and gooooddd morning! lol! its 03:11AM now btw. haha.

23o2o8

2008-02-23T23:49:00.005+08:00

Dear Diary.
firstly, DID YOU MISS ME?!?! hahahaha.
anyways, im jus came back from my sec4 self awareness camp. it was realli cool.
fridae din had lessons.(: it was held in some home where nuns stays, located in holland road. oh ya! the bed was realli cool. although its not much of a comfy bed, but i practically sank in the mattress. LOL! i could even feel parts of the metal thing at the bottom. but, it was better den sleeping on the floor anyways. hmm, we played games and more games. shared some stories. bonding stuffs, talk here talk there. slack here slack there. order macdonalds in the middle of the nite and all. it was realli fun. i will definitely miss it.
anyways, ya'll noe that my worst enermy, starts wif rebecca, is in my class rite? well, during the camp, i had to like bond with everybody rite? anyways, while mrs kuan was talk and all. i kept thinking... this is like the second last year or maybe the last year im stayin in the school. should i like forgive and forget so that everybody can like properly bond.? i was like confuse la. cos i seriously seriously din like her cos of the past and wad she did and all. but i guess, i should aftr all, forgive wad. everybody should have more then a second chance rite? 2 is definitely not enough. plus, its considered a good deed to do something good i guess.(:
hmm, so now, i think i'll jus try to tok to her la. besides, I LOVE TO SEE PEOPLE HAPPY.
WHEN PEOPLE ARE HAPPY, IM HAPPY.(: thats sot of my moto la. cos im not so much of a saddist person nor a emo person. well, i can act! and even if im crying, doesn't mean im emo la okay! anyways, recently im trying to get not stressed. IM GETTING EYE RINGS FOR GOODNESS SAKE! sadd...
hmm, next topic. omgg, recently i also feel quite lonely. not much comments as before. not much people smsing me anymore. msn is like nobody. unless its like they are bored den tok. but maybe one or two are nice enough to talk to me even if they are busy.(: haha. ok la, i admit, im ABIT of an attention seeker but who is not la. its like depressing to find out, nobody cares for u, u noe? anyways, feeling quite down now, though i wan to be happy. i jus got off the phone with a fwen of mine. we not exactly quarreled, but aii ya. dunno wads wrong with him la. at first, i was so happy that wow, somebody is gonna call me to tok to me and all. but end up i have no idea wad happen to him. he likes to call me names and come on la, i have feelings u noe. but nvm, i give him. everything, i also give in. and i think he totally noes that la.but no, it continues.. alittle bit annoying can. plus all the vulgarities? like fcuk here fcuk there? wad am i suppose to say?! he sounded like he was angry and all. i kept saying sorry for nuts! and still, wad did i do sia. wth. if got bad mood den why call me in the first place? to vengar the anger on me? i dun think u are those kind of pple la. omgg, wads happening.beginning of the year, everything was great. although end of last year, it was a terrible moment, but i got over it aftr awhile.
but who noes, im dam lonely now...

From,
Colleen

18o2o8

2008-02-18T18:23:00.003+08:00

TODAE IS SO BORING! omgg...
its like totally so dead la. went to sch, jus reached on time, had to run in actually. =x
aftr that, i was like so sleepppyyy! ahhh. ALMOST slept during art lesson. but i cannot, cos if i do, SOMEBODY is gonna get angry. and its not the teacher, its somebody else. hahaha.
anyways, todae we had photo taking.(: so fun. but i din noe it was todae actually. i wasn't prepared. we were suppose to wear the blouse. but i din, i wore a t-shirt. ended up running around borrowing blouse from a fwen. haha.
we posed and posed. haha. oh ya, last year and this year, I HAVE BEEN PROMOTED TO 2ND LEVEL. hahaha. no more sitting on the chair in the front. omgg, i hate sitting on the chair when taking photos, its suckyy. anyways, i hope i dun look suckyy. but i was like sweaty! cos i ran before taking the class photo. so i hope i look nice.(:
aftr sch, cass, laurel, my total best buddies ever, and me, went to subway to makan. this was like my first or second time eating dunno wad meatball sandwich. nice! hahaha. usually when i go subway, i would like buy the cookie only. but todae was kinda hungry, din eat recess. -.-''
aftr that, came home. SO EARLY LA. reached home at about 3.30? the past few daes, went home super late at nite tat i feel so weird going home so early todae. omgg.
oh ya! i brought home my mathematics book to do homework. YAY! such a good girl rite? jkjk.(:

2008-02-17T00:52:00.002+08:00

FASHION SHOW IS OVER!
hahaha. can't believe it. jus imagine. u are participating in the FIRST fashion show that is done by STUDENTS! PLUS! ITS FOR CHARITY! woahh.. hahaaa. anyways, glad its over.
it was so so stressing... i cried. =x yes yes, i cried. anyways, overall, everybody did extremely well. hahahaha.

AHHHH.. OMG, OH YA! HAHAHAA. i told like almost everybody who were close to me. haha.
for curtain call, we were suppose to walk down the runway and out of the hall. so my group waved like goodbye and all to the audience and walked out of the hall at the same time. AND, i was waving to my parents and there was this guy who sat beside my dad, STAND UP AND WAVED. LIKE HAHAHAHA. omgg la. pple not waving at u, u dun make ursef so paiseh la. anyways, it was so fun. hahaa. my fwens din come to support. felt quite sad about that. but aii ya, i wasn't the only one. at least two pple bought tickets from me to see me. but they are not my fwens.. lol.

anyways, aftr the show, atiqah, arianti, arianti godsis, and her bf and ME! went to vivocity. we ate our dinner, den went to the top level where the mini pool were. and we like played and took loads and loads of nice nice photos. hahaha. reached home like around 12 plus. =x

TO ATIQAH, ARIANTI AND ARIANTI GODSIS:
"SHORTY GO LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW... uh oh!"(:

11o2o8

2008-02-11T20:10:00.000+08:00

FASHION SHOW THIS SATURDAY!(:
how cools tat huh. hehee.

my school's sec 4 normal accad classes are like doing it. haha. so fun yet stressing.
its only like afew more daes! so pressurizing...

anyways, hmm. how was cny so far? loads of ang paos! but... estimated, still got lesser den my fwens and all. SIGHS. but importantly, i had fun. celebrated wif fwens and family.

hahaha. another event before the fashion show is...
VALENTINES DAE!(:
sooo excited! hais, so sad sia. every year, im always celebrating wif my family. not that its no good, its jus tat... throughout the year, i will end up having a bf like aftr valentine dae. and during valentine, dun have... like wth... hope this year more fun. (:

hmm, another event will be happening in march! haha. IMPORTANT EVENT!
come on everybody, take out ur calendar and pen and take note.(:
MY BIRTHDAEEE! hahaha. plus! this year is special.. ITS MY SWEET 16TEEN BIRTHDAEEE!
wheeee!(: i dunno how to celebrate man. last time, i wanted to celebrate wif bryan cos it falls on the fourth. which was also our anniversary date, plus, my dae will be like the 11? month?sobsss....
see la, so many things planned to do wif him this year all ruin. idiot. dun care la. life still goes on.(:
ANYWAYS! ANY SUGGESTIONS HOW TO CELEBRATE??? wan it to be special!(:
maybe like go out wif my fwens to celebrate den go home late late. =x waa, my bdae falls on a tuesdae. SIAN. hmm, or maybe, i can go out wif my bf! if i have one before my bdae.(:
or, maybe go out wif bryans anyways as fwens. (: or, dunno man... or dun celebrate.. ERR. maybe thats impossible. cos i will regret if dun celebrate. hmm, shud i have a chalet? bbq? in house? ice skating(:? movie vry common. hmm, something wif snow? i love snow.(: hmm, wad else. i dunno. hehee.

SO EXCITEDDD.

**hint hint!
my wish list is up to date! hahahaha.(:

o8o2o8

2008-02-08T00:29:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR YA'LL!
wassup wassup!(:

hehee. i jus got off the phone with bryan.(: so now happy mood. LOL!

TO TIQ, see? added ur name in my post.(: hahaha. I LOVE YOU SAYANG! MY SAYANG!
muacks muacks muacks! remember to wear shorts to school! or else...

hmm, TO MUMMY, I LOVE YOU ARIANTI! always there for me. ups and downs.(:
the coolest fwen to be with.

why they so special? they are my lucky lucky partners who sit beside me during class. hahaa.
though nvr see them todae. jus wan to wish everybody, malay, chinese, indian, eurasians, whoever celebrate cny, HAPPY NEW YEAR! GONG XI FA CAI! hong pao na lai, mei you hong pao, gei ni black eye.(: haha.

hmm, oh ya, ytd we could go sch in home clothes.
i wore black jeans, some oldsch shirt, red cardigen, and my red stripe shoes!(:
hehee. i love my shoes.(:
anyways. yupps, aftr sch, me, cass, bridget and nurul went to tp entertainment macs to eat lunch. on the way down the escalator aftr lunch, there was like this chinese weirdo, wearing sch uni knock on the glass and like totally gave me a shock. he pointed to his indian fwen beside him. OMG, his fwen had like piercings and all. wuu, how scaryyy. the way he was saying told me that his fwen wanted to noe me. OMG... totally not the first time. how embarrassing i tell ya. GEEEZ.
aftr that, we went to marina square. where we walk aimlessly jus to pass time. we walked in soeul gardens to pay a little visit to our other fwens who were having their class gathering there. aftr that, we walked and walked.
aftr that, they went orchard, i din go. i waited for my family so we cound go SHOPPING! and spend more MONEY!(: che-ching!
i pity my future hubby. he better be prepared for the bills and all.(:

hmm... todae i went my ah ma's house at pasir pajang there. so far rite... i stay in the east. lol.
oh ya, i simply loooovee my ah ma's cooking. specially the sweet and sour fish. it was simply mouth drooling. oh ya, hm, i got ang paos! hehehh. so happy. dun tell u how much! humph!! my secret.(:

anyways, haiss... i wan to tok to my bryan.): so sad, he no more mine.
4 more daes till he is somebody elses...
the moment she says yes, is when my eyes are down, my mind, blank as ever..
and, 6 more daes to valentine's dae. i hope i get to celebrate wif somebody this year...
and i hope that somebody is him.):

28o1o8

2008-01-28T22:52:00.000+08:00

todae i din go school. i was sick..
since saturdae, i had seriously bad flu, fever, cough, running irritating nose, soar throat and all.
but saturdae, i went shopping wif my mum anyways, cos i was at work in the dae. den i went to buy jeans! haha. i saw vivian, a classmate.
on sundae, my flu got worst. and at nite, i had a fever.
so todae, i went to see a doctor. the doctor was dam good man! he gave me like 2 daes MC, and 1 whole week of EXCUSE CCA MC. hahaa. woah. but the medicine is woah, powerful man. im feeling dam drowsy. i dunn even noe wad im writing about now. haha.
anyways, GOODNITES! going to fall asleep... :)

2oo1o8

2008-01-20T17:41:00.000+08:00

lonq time no bloq. haha. hmm.oh ya, HAPPY 2008! sryy for the late wishes.

conqrats to nick and verena. they jus got married! super happy for them. i attended their weddinq and it was... FABULOUS! everything was perfect! plus the church! it seem so high tech. haha.

fashion show on the 16 feb. anybody interested? tickets selling at $20 and $50. im participating, so come support kkiess? haha.

anyways, new updates. bryan and i broke up on the 29o12o7, close to new year and close to our 10th month anniversary. still kinda sad about it. but, jus wan to help him sort out some things. dun ask me why broke okay. i will onli tell pple who are close to me. anyways, as much as i miss the old times, im happy wif wad it is now. i can get closer to my family and fwens.. not like last year, aftr sch, rush go meet him. hais. i will still continue waiting for him, cos i realli realli like him. and he noes that. LOL! but meanwhile, BE HAPPY. HAPPY GO LUCKY. and concentrate study. haha.

i met some new fwens. cool. some are pretty. some are shuai. some are okay looking. but none are ugly okay, so dun degrade ursef. btw, ARIANTI (mummy) AND ATIQAH(ahma)! I LOVE YOU GUYS! I LOVE THE INSANE FAMILY! hmm, lets see, actually nth much from this section. okay, move on to the next...

school is awesome this year, for teachers, is either they are annoying or they are great! hmm, so far, i think onli one annoying teacher. the rest are great! oh ya! guess wad. i everydae starting to do homework. i noe last year was a total slacky year, i hope i change this year. this year, i dun have any resolution except "PASS N LVL AND MOVE ON TO Os" haha. sound like some slogan.

waa, my back is like achinq! fridae, had PE, ms teo was doin so much stressing and all, my body ached ytd. den ytd, while it ached, i went riding bicycle as usual. but ytd, i rode to tampines, where my kor kor is working. den go kachiao him. haha. den rode back. den todae, woke up early to go church. in the morning, i couldn't get up! but i rolled off the bed in order to stand up straight. LOL! i guess that was the only way to wake mysef up. haha.

oh ya, i wanted to post some pictures. but, couldn't as my com and my hp are enermys la. once they are connected, they will like dc. and my com will auto restart. so nonsence. my pictures!!
:( my friendster pic totally not updated. so saddd..

tats about most of the updates so far. haha.. im going out now! byee!

2007-12-11T22:38:00.000+08:00

my friend invited me to join this. duno weather it works. but okay la. fun at the same time.
so far, i earned $20 by doin this. and it took like around 5 mins. its jus completing the survey. haha.
this is the link. btw, if u click this, i can earn $6 as well! hahahaha.

$6.00 Welcome Survey After Free Registration!

2811o7

2007-11-28T16:34:00.000+08:00

LATEST NEWS

JUNCTION EIGHT! BISHAN! having sales! converse sales.. theres everlast too! SALES SALES SALES! shopping dudes and dudress!

sales ends this week. the shirts and jackets are nice... realli!

Todae, i went j8 and bought a shoe! from everlast. not for me la, its for my... AHEM AHEM, cough cough.. haha.
he wanted the shoe so yupps, got it for him. hope he loves it. and not dumb it aftr awhile like some of his clothes.. =x
todae, the sales was crowded! and the shoe i bought was the last one! im lucky har... well, not last shoe, but the last size for that design... he wears a size 9! and i wear a size 4. see the difference??? its like 9-4=5! gigantic feet! hahaha.

hmm, todae is quite boring...
oh ya! yesterdae, i baked shepherd's pie! yumm... my dad said it was okay, my brother said it was okayy. so annoying.. wheres the encouraging part har? haha. my granny was like, "hmm, (den eat some more)" den aftr finish eating, i asked her, nice anot? and she was like "not nice la;" i bet she was jealous... heh heh heh. jkjk..
i wanted to bake brownies too, but found out i din had much flour left... sObx.
and yea, last nite, was my 2nd kor's prom nite.. how sweet. i wish next time i have.. den can dance... aww, so romantic... heh.

i wish i was living a world of wonderland:)

2211o7

2007-11-22T15:48:00.000+08:00

A DAY AT WORK

yesterdae i started work near my house the restaurant. forgot wad type of restaurant but the lights were nice i tell ya'. well, its the onli restaurant so far which is fully covered wif air con around my area. aniways, i work there as a waitress. its dam fun! yesterdae, as it was my first dae of work, i din do so badly. and i actually expected worst things might happened but in the end, it din happened. hahaa. my manager is a great person! he helped me when i couldn't cope. ytd, there was onli 1 waitress, which is me! got another but she stays at the bar counter and the cashier.. but she help me serve too.

one thing this restaurant is different from the others is that this restaurant is more alive! everybody seems so close like friends and all which is good. aniways, during my first dae, i had some tough customers. first, was a lady, her ordered a takeaway and it took quite long as we had only one chief therefore, the customers had to wait very long. but! i hope we are going to get more chiefs soon.

some customers are cheeky man! they would ask me my name, my age, wad school and all. and obviously! its for the wrong reasons. i noe they drank beer, cos i served them. but still. haha. but overall, it was fun. at least they were not tough customers. hmm, one of them even asked if i was a singaporean! well, DUN I LOOK LIKE A TYPICAL SINGAPOREAN? plus! there was this japanese man who came, he started talking to me in japanese and he thought i could uds. I DUN LOOK LIKE JAPANESE EITHER! infact, as most of my fwens would name me, im called the... "ANTI-JAPANESE" but as my job as a waitress, i din take out a knife to stab him.. hahahaha. though i wished one dae i could bomb he whole of japan. joking la. i was actually told that i may have my future honeymoon in japan. so cannot bomb YET. wuahahahaaxx.

aniways, do u noe wad is roughly their dinner time? their as in the burmese people, not the restaurant. their dinner time is like around 10 plus 11! so late.... omgg. and singaporean's dinner time is at wad time? 6 plus 7 plus 8. wow. see the difference man.

aniways, wad i recommend from the restaurant that i tried so far, was the milk shake! it has yogurt, mango, and some syrup. and its simply DEFINE! hahaha.

aniways, the next shift is tmr, 5.30 to 11. den comes sat, day time shift.

2007-11-18T22:43:00.000+08:00

todae, i jus found out my mother have been CHECKING ON ME. like wat the hell? she purposely create an account so that she could see my friendster profile. where is my life heading? WHERE THE HELL IS MY PRIVACY? i cannot have a laptop, i cannot have a boyfriend, i cannot do this, i cannot do that. so what can i do? study all dae? is that what they want? well, i can't. and everybody noes that. i can't and i dun wan! and who gave you the right to invade my privacy?! my friendster is like EVERYTHING TO ME. and u JUS had to noe about it. what else can i do?! all im living is a lie. a life filled wif lies. but its not that i want it to be. its you made me this way. if all along, u jus allowed me to do what i want. all this won't happen rite? example, if u allowed me to have a boyfriend from the start. maybe with some terms and condition like inviting him at home? getting to noe him first? make sure he is not some bad people tat they think all guys now are. if like that, wun it be better? studies has nth to do wif this problems. they keep saying, it will affect ur studies and all. but by them doing wat they are doing now, it is affecting my life! my mind! making me wan to go against them. why can't they be more MORDERN and give their own children their privacy. privacy doesn't cost any money. if they jus gave me my own freedom, and PRIVACY, i wun even need to ask them to buy all sots of things. like wtf. now, i need somebody to talk to, my best friend's phone is engaged. bf wants to WATCH TV. but end up he called jus now. but i needed time alone. the minute my mum asked me to show her my friendster. i totally broked down. though i expected she would ask me aftr noeing she viewed me wif a fake name under her account that has her email address in it.

all i want is my privacy. i have no own room, i cannot go out whenever i want, i dun have a private computer. and now my internet is starting to get invaded?!?!
as much as i want to be a normal girl, i also want freedom.

i am who i want to be.
dun judge me and stop telling what to do.

1811o7

2007-11-18T17:26:00.000+08:00

OMG! i almost got burnt to death jus now... but real cool. it happened and i din even noe.
it was raining and now its still raining VERY VERY HEAVILY with thunder and lightning and all...
aniways, my kor called me to help him get the umbrella and meet him at the flat, which is alot of houses down! before i went, my dad wanted to go, so that i wun get sick. but, HE IS ALREADY SICK and if he go out into such weather, its dangerous. plus! he is soooo tall! theres more chances to get striked. thats wad i heard okayy!
while walking towards the block of flats, my kor said lightning almost striked me. WOAH! and i din noe! hahahaha.. coolness. aniways, he couldn't described much cos he said it was so bright. after that, he explained to me that i could actually die if i got striked! and which way to walk and close to where and all.

hmmm.... interesting... ...

since, its still raining so dam heavily, i wonder how are we gonna eat dinner. haha. im not hungry aniways..
this whole dae, totally no appetite.
din eat breakfast cos had to go church early in the morning.
ate 2 slices of fruits (honeydew and watermelon) for lunch,
drank water and SELFMADE apple juice! i blended it.. haha.
FABULOUS....
dinner? not hungry! but... most likely eat something healthy. x)

IM A HEALTHY PERSON! hahahahahaaaa.

FREEDOM once

2007-11-11T20:09:00.000+08:00

last wed or thurs, my parents went on holidae. so... HAHA. PARTIEE!! obviously not in my house. nutcase. haha. but not realli party la. everybody is like totally busy. instead, went out lor. let see, hmm...

THURSDAE
i went to AMK with my granny to buy things for christmas. anyways, aftr that, we went to holy spirit to buy anniversary card as wednesdae was my parent's 21st anniversary. amazing. so long. yupps. aftr shopping in AMK, we went home and i was totally shagged. and since, my parents wasn't home, we talked all nite till the next morning. and guess wadd. im not sure if it was on thursdae or fridae. but HE SLEPT ON THE PHONE! amazing! i wonder how could somebody sleep on the phone while the other person is still on.. not like i was veri boring or wad la. i admit i kept quiet. way way quiet. but still! so annoying.

FRIDAE
me and my sweetie went out. first he said to accompany him go make his IC only. so okayys, thought i would be home early. aniways, aftr registering his IC and all, he brought me to this so familiar hawker centre? the place where upstairs they sell army things. oh ya! its at beach road. hahaa. aniways, he brought me there to... EAT BEEF NOODLES. it was fabulous! infact, that was my first time eating beef noodles. =x realli lor. but its super nice. and while eating he was like telling all the nice good food located in singapore. though, i cannot remember all clearly, im sure next time he will bring me again. x) so sweet rite! lolz. heheh.
after that, we went to bishan to catch a movie, GAMEPLAN. it was funni, nice. i wonder why pple say it was a bad show! it was okay to me.. specially THE ROCK! hahahaa. he act funni sia. aniways, i din quite like the ending though... quite plain, but acceptable la. hmm, aftr that, we walked walked, ate fishball noodles. and went home, as my granny kept rushing my home... ZzZ. she is not a spoiler la. but... aii ya, she is my lovely grandmother and i love her alot.
at nite, we toked on the hp again.. all the way till next morning AGAIN. and i made sure this time he din fell asleep. wuahahaaxx.

SATURDAE
in the morning, i went to school for my school's fashion project thing. its special u noe! aniways, aftr sch, cass, yining and me went to orchard! and... we had fun.. at first we went to... *kino dunno how to spell.* for some jap stuff they wanted to see. so i expected them to like take 30 mins or something. but they were fast! hahaha. den we walked around and had FREE JIA JIA LIANG TEH! x) hahaha. as in small cups lah.. realli tiny cups. u can call me cheapskate or wadeva but as a typical singaporean, kia su is the word. wuahaaxx. aftr that, we went to topshop. and i saw this realli cool top.. =x and i din bring enough money as i din expect to go shopping. so i went home at around 2 plus? changed and went back to orchard. i took the bus there and i totally din noe wad stop to go down. total blurness man. but end up, i found my way though it was a long way.. i walked and walked while toking on the phone wif cass. i was bored so i rang her up to call me back. =x smart eh? hahaa. aniways, aftr that, i bought my top which actually could be a dress to me. it was... big? but thats the smallest size they had. ZzZ. aftr buying, i bought dinner for my bro and went home! cos alone wad, nth to do den go home lor. might as well use the com. but aftr reaching home, i din use com... instead, i watched tv and slept. LOL! i not zhu hor. jus that tired aftr a long dae of walking. hehee.
den at around 8 plus, my parents surpprised me by coming home early. they were suppose to come home midnite. but waa, surprise surprise.. cnt tok on the phone at nite anymore. sadd... BUT! i still talked till next morning. but it was like around 1 plus 2 den i put down. quite early to put down. but had no choice..

OVERALL
i had alot of fun. but this past few nites, me and my baby had been fighting alot. as in arguing and all. im sorry baby! and specially, im sorry about thursdae nite. din meant wad i said. and now...
todae is the sundae, i called him aftr choir practice on the way home. and he kept calling my ah hai. he den ah hai la. zzz. but as long he was laughing, it was okayy. now waiting for him to call. if he din call by 1o.3o, im sleeping! btw, now is 9.5o. and i haven receive any sms or call from him since this aftrnoon. sadd...

291o2oo7

2007-10-29T11:31:00.000+08:00

so tired yet so hyper. haha. dunno man.

last nite i went to watch a bball match at singapOre indoor stadium. coolness.
my godbros were there, churchfriends la. and HE was there! aniways, so fun. so happy.
at around 4 plus, it was like raining cats and dogs! the church carpark was like flooding! dirty my feet and their shoes. x( aniways, we waited for the bus, yet nvr come. den me and him went opposite to wait for taxi under the rain. x) oh, how romantic...
aniways, no taxi wan to allow 5 pple to squeeze! so we went back to the bus stop and wait for the bus instead. we were like LATE! and dun care la, we still managed to watch the match.
we arrived there and THE PATH WAS FLOODED. dam it. mus get wet again. -.-''
den we got tickets and entered and watched the match.
WAYS TO CHEER:
- clap ur hands.
- moving seats to infront better view.
- shout to irritate the people infront.
- scream and make ur partner deaf.
- use ur umbrella and open and swing it around like some mad person.
well, thats wadd i observed. hahaha.
aftr that, they went to somewhere near my house to eat and they went geffren's house.
and me? me and him went bugis walk walk and go home.
though we din get to walk alot cos i needed to go home early, hais, still got to walk la. haha.
den i reached home, bathe and talked to him on the hp. waa, now to come to think of it,
its like we talk alot hor. haha. AHH. HE CALLING LE! update another dae! xP

p.s. i think he more shuai now. red headed hair and all. LOL!

2007-10-24T18:18:00.000+08:00

New Cursed Church?

this was taken at the aljunied mrt bus stop.

it was like totally strange. i was reading it and practically coping wadeva they said down!

haha. lame i noe but curious. pple were like looking at me like as if they were thinking "omggosh, thats a real kia su singaporean sia. so kaypo one."
aniways, i showed my fwens afew daes ago and they also saw before.
btw, i saw Augustine there too! x)
and i told him to read. LOL! hahaha.

.pics taken.

pictorial evidence

the paper wrote:
I'm Jeannie. A board of director of new cursed church. We know that Wendy Prince is the 'hariot' of this church having an affair with ps Lawrence Lim and ps Joseph Prince is a very unstable man who is into "witchcraft" of pyschic powers, porno and he 'masturbates' yet he insist to preach. He must be put away!!!
(Please do not attend new creation church)
tel: 63384565

________________________________

thats wad it said. so yea, if u are curious or anything, do call and tell me wad happened. haha. im so curious yet not interested to call. SO WASTE MY MONEY. haha.

Lynette's Halloween Party

2007-10-22T21:46:00.000+08:00

2o.10.2oo7 is the dae i went to lynette's halloween party.
my first ever dae i even celebrated halloween. haha.
i took alot of pics.

these are some of the halloween pictures...

*THE COSTUMES

*THE POSES

the couple...

the intruder...

*ADORABLES

BOO!

*SIAOkia

LASTLY! but not least... personal photos..

staring..

*OUR FEETS!

*and US.

and other people. =x

2o1o2oo7

2007-10-20T12:36:00.001+08:00

wahh. heartpain.
my mum's bdae was ytd. so is my aunt cos they are twins.
aniways, my mum bought me a shirt tat is cute but i dun wan to wear it out.
and i din wan to tell her cos i scared that i would spoil her dae.
so i told her todae. she totally got angry and say "im vry dissapointed"
I MEAN LIKE! wad did i do?!?! i was jus telling her how i feel. issit that wad i shud do? so wad, i dun tell her, accept it and ended up wasting her money.
den now she say she din wan to bring me out shopping anymore. HEARTPAIN LA. pain pain.. x( i wan to go shopping. i love to go shopping wif her. not onli i get to spend money tat is not mine, i also get to spend quality time wif her. unlike my dad, who dun like to spend money. and if i go out wif him, he everything also say no. zzz.
aniways, now my mum become one of them. the non-shoppers group. ROAR! where do i get my T-shirts!! buy on my own? they dun allow me! they say i got alot. but no lor. i find it little. i threw most of my shirts, dress, skirts, jeans, shorts. and now is like HEART PAIN. omggosh.

ANIWAYS! todae im going to lynette's halloween cum cosplay party. yupps!
i wanted to go to Ministry Of Sound (MOS) for the rap battle. but i changed my mind. there will be so crowded and its crashing wif my fwen's party so too bad la. i mus let it go. another dae den go lor. haha. though everyone keep saying "CLUB RULE!" but HAH! i can go in. WHO SAY I CNT. lolz. only todae nia. cos todae club rules all ages can go in but mus go early lor. first 5oo can go in FREE! hahha. but nvm, even if i not going todae. for my 18 bdae, i wan to go. HAH! they cnt stop me.
BLAH! i leaving house at... around 4.3o! hah. now still dam early.

141oo7

2007-10-14T23:34:00.000+08:00

waa. long time nvr update liaO.=x busy i guess. sryy ah.

latest update:

thursdae:
i went to jurong east to ice skate wif serene, xue qi and eunice. it was so fun! but sadd thing was that i kept thinking abt him. irritating lor. he say he dun like ice skating. kkiess, nvm. maybe its not a guy thing but i still see loads of cool, shuai guys ice skating. LOL! not trying to say anything. aniways, though ice skating was fun and all. i FELL DOWN! first time i fell was becos somebody pulled me from behind and i tripped and fell. second time was i was trying to grab eunice's hand but ended up falling again. third time cos the medicine was so pain on my knee that i couldn't tahan and fell again. i fell like dunno how many times la. but i wun give up. i love ice skating. though, im not vry pro. but i dunno why i love to skate fast. the place was freezing cold. but the shoe was so uncomfortable. did u noe i had to wear the red colour shoe? there was two types of shoe. one was blue and one was red. blue was for the normal size to big foot. while the red was SUPPOSE to be for children size. i had to wear red shoe! my foot was too small. roar! and guess wad, the red shoe wasn't tight for me. omggosh. that means my foot is.. way too small. but! its unique. so is my hand and i love it. aftr all the ice skating, i went home, changed, and went to church for some praise and worship. aftr that, me, renyi and renya walked home. they were my new neighbours. yupps. end of 12/1o/o7.

Saturdae:
i had lunch at sakura restaurant at tampines safra wif my godparents and cousins. supprisingly, me and my oldest cousin wore the same shirt. -.-'' aniways, there were loads of phototaking. not sure why, but my godma took pics of me aniways. aftr that, i worked for like 2hours plus plus. part-time accountant. surpprise har.? loads of typing. not much of calculating. easy la. its a good pay aniways. but im onli working for todae! cos my boss say that other den todae, the pay will decrease to $2 per hour which was so not worth it.

Sundae:
which is todae. i went to church in the morning, den i went to AMK hub to meet my parents and did some groceries shopping. aftr that we went home and my dad brought me and my mum to expo as i heard expo had some metro sale and the clothes were nice. so i went to check it out. hmm. mostly i saw from women clothes, alot of auntie shirts, working suits, bikinis, bras, not realli nice bags =x, belts, shoes(mostly high heels), some other things la. but i din see much of wadd i wanted. T-shirts were not say super nice la. okok nia. maybe all the nice shirts were bought already. aniways, i bought a belt and two shorts. not bad la. at least i din go home empty-handed. aftr that, my parents fetch my eldest bro to camp and and i started to use the com. which is soooo boring now. not sure why. msn, i put busy when im so bored. friendster? done all the updatings. now last thing was my blog. which, now im updating. aftr that.. dunno wad to do. i dun think he is going to call. so aii ya, shud i go sleep? i dun feel tired! dunno why, nowadaes, i had nightmares which wakes me up 1 hour before the actual time im suppose to wake up. so annoying. i feel totally not tired. mostly hyper. and now so bored and feel like listening to pple tok specially "cough cough". heh heh heh.

o41oo7x(

2007-10-04T16:55:00.000+08:00

haiss. todae is the 4th October. our 6th month anniversary.
we're suppose to celebrate. but.. i din see him.
he said he was gonna wait for me outside sch. den kkiess..
but aftr sch, i waited for 1/2 hour. din showed up. den i got bored den left him a sms saying i follow my friends to toa payoh central walk. den we walked from 2.3o plus plus till 4 plus plus 5. but still din get to meet him.
im jus afraid something might happen to him and nobody knew about it. i called him numerous times, but his hp off. maybe spoiled. dunno la. den i called his friend, forgot who, i asked if his friend would noe wad happened to him but the friend was sleeping i think. opps. nvm, the friend was helpful though. even if i woke his friend up, he actually reminded me to call his house phone. i din expected that. so i called his house phone but it was engaged so many times and finally. SOMEONE PICKED UP. and im not sure who was that but i think she was his sister. well, she said he was not at home. i got more scared. did something realli happened? where was he.. if he was outside my sch, and not seeing me, he would call my hp. even if his hp was not wif him, he would use the public phone. im jus realli scared. wad happened if he got beaten up. wad happens if he got kidnap. LOL! but cannot be la. he so PAI. how to easily get bullied de. dunno la. but till now. i cnt contact him. he is not even at home. wad happens if he went to my sch and found out that i went home. he would be so mad. wad to do... ... 6th month's anniversary, i dun wan a fight to start up.

24o92oo7

2007-09-24T19:00:00.000+08:00

22o92oo7

2007-09-22T23:15:00.000+08:00

the past few daes, i haven been updating cos...

my computer din have internet!

so... dun chase me for updating lor.. haha. tys.

ANIWAYS!

so many things happened since the last time i posted.
hmm.. one occasion was the dae i went out with him to plaza singapura.
it was a super fun but fast dae. i had to go home early. =x ps.
aniways, we went to 77th street to buy his fwen a present. like woah! superr dam ex. =x
den aftr tat, we walk walk, den ate some mango ice desert. delicious. well, of course delicious wad, i eating wif him, obvious its delicious. LOL!
well, thats one of the daes.

another occasion was... i think.... it was yesterdae, yupp, its yesterdae, fridae the 21st.
feliciatanTR, eunice, bryan and me went to STUDY! at bishan library.for the first time, i actually saw him studying! lolz! he say he can concentrate, but i cnt. -.-''
i did afew math sums and couldn't do anymore, too stress. den i moved on to biology.
i read afew lines and he started telling me that he wanted to BREAK DANCE.
like *HELLO*!! its a library... break dance and library doesn't realli go well. hahaa. but yupps, i wan to see him break dance. later he break dance den fall down den i can nurse him to health. LOL!!! jKjK. IM JOKING!!! so dun take it too serious hor. x)
after that, we stopped and headed down to j8! where we bought _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ a present.
feel free to fill in the blanks if u wan. hahaa. aftr buying, we took a bus back to toa payoh to claim his grandmother's hp. (a long story) but nvm. den aftr that, THAT STUPID IDIOTIC MAN dun wan to give back. that man works there(7eleven), plus, he is the shift leader. (what type of name is that) omggosh. den end up, have to get the police involved. so ma fan. if he jus returned it in the first place, the trouble wun be big. so wad if he has his responsibility, bryan gave alot alot of infomation already, wad else he wan sia. omggosh. den it was like so late already. i was suppose to go home. but ended up going to novena to meet my dad at 8.3o(suppose to be 8 but late). u noe why late? ALL BECOS OF THAT STUPID IDIOTIC MAN who becos of his responsibility, made my evening so miserable. we suppose to go home together de... but in the end, SOBS! i feel dam bad, leaving him there waiting for the police. ROAR! i realli felt like BURING THAT MAN ALIVE. BURN AH BURN. so brainless. so idiotic. such a spoiler.

ANIWAYS! den here comes todae.
todae nth much happened. i din tok to him for the whole entire dae and nite. realli realli miss him. hmm, lets see, wad did i do todae...
todae i woke up late, around 11 plus? and pple came to fix the internet den went to toa payoh safra to collect MP4! FREE MP4 but... its not mine, its my brothers.
den we went for lunch at some unknown hawker den went drove to brasbasah to buy ONE guitar and went home.
at home, i STUDIED accounts(POA) the subject that i most hate, well, alot of pple hate it too. my mum teach me. she is an accountant. amazing, im total different from her. looks can be deceiving rite.? hahaa. everybody say i look like her, but she is super good at accounting, im not. i love art, she doesn't. yay! we got differences. i studied for super long la. seriously, my brain wanted to BAO ZHA! also known as KABOOM!
we went to thomson plaza for dinner and make my granny's specs and den went home.
at home again... i studied again. the same subject again... which is poa. i did dunno wad trading and profit and loss account den i stopped cos i couldn't take it anymore. my mind was full of numbers, dunno wad debit and credit, dunno wad plus here plus there, minus here minus there. so tiring. i bet my calculator also tired. x)
aftr that, i faster came to the com. now can use the internet! yayness. den i did some blogging, some friendstering, some emailing. but comfirm, ONE THING I DID NOT DO, AND A LOOOONG TIME I DID NOT GO. and that is....
ONLINE!!! x(

18.o9.2oo7

2007-09-18T18:06:00.000+08:00

todae is so boringg... omggosh. aniways, currently i feel very tired. cos of the stupid art work thingy. arghh. so sleepyy.. aniways, im being told to update even when I DUN HAVE TIME. but yea. its updated. lolz.

todae... hmm, its a normal dae. but one thing. I MISS PLAYING MAPLE... sObs.
plus hor, HE somemore come and tell me he playing and he so pro and blah blah blah..
make me so jealous. my stupid com now no internet. even if got internet, i also cnt download maple. waa.. feel dam noob. my highest lvl also nvr beat him. ROAR! den i gave my acc away. now even if i wan to carry on playing, i need to create another acc. wth...

SOMEONE HELP ME..I WAN TO PLAY MAPLE AGAIN. (aftr exams)
now mus pass all exam den MAYBE can take through-train. hehee.i wan to playyy......!!!! T.T!

alot of things happened these few daes.. so complicated and so ma fan. next time, i jus dun bother abt anything la. later pple say wad i third party. that person wan party den go party la. no need to call me THIRD party. plus somemore shout at me wor.. she think she so bigg issit. mother sayang her, my mother dun sayang me, i sadd lor. her mother say wad "she vry emotional" means cry easily. ME ALSO HOR. so dun come and tell me she emotional. if she emotional, den baby is wad. baby die liao lor cos baby dae in dae out, everytime also cry de wad. waa. they love to tok nonsense rite. say she not siding but end up also side wif her own daughter. wan to side den dun need to say. aniways, i glad its over. but one thing is not over. NANA ALWAYS CALL HER TO SIT WIF HER soooo MEANS SHE SITTING BEHIND ME. like OMGGOSH LA. everytime she sit behind me, waaa. irritating la. so talkative, more talkative lor. den talk also cnt talk properly, mus shout shout shout. she wan to shout den shout la, but go somewhere else when im not there. i dun wan to hear her voice sia. i can go deaf de.

ROAR. how i wish there is pple behind my back in school. its like i help pple but when i in need of anything, noones there.. jus like that occasion when that so called "bully" came to "bully" me. nobody did anything abt it. ROAR.

(writen in black and white)

kOrAlph's bdae

2007-09-09T20:46:00.000+08:00

.HAPPY BIRTHDAE kOrAlph.!

last nite, my family and i celebrated my brother's birthdae at CHIJmes.

reservation was at 8.3O. but we went late. =x

aniways, the food there was great! yummy steaks, salads and all. and plus! they were selling ESCAGOT! my favourite! but... unfortunely, it was too expensive so my dad din wan to order. x(

having our family toast.

my tiny hands... -.-''

the place was also romatic too! wif all the candles lighted.

a romatic place to celebrate his bdae.

these were taken before our dinner.

afterr that, we went to the dunno wad pub.

they caught me for underage. see la, who ask me to look so young.. x)

aniways, lucky, this time, i went wif my parents, so they let me in. hahahaaa.

the band was dam cool. they played alot of cool songs like from U2, and all la. dunno la. and plus! it was so dam noisy! omggosh. i dun think i wan to ever step in again until i reached 18.

back at home...

he cut the cake, we gave presents, blah blah blah..

5th month anniversary celebration(x

2007-09-07T23:23:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 5th MONTH ANNIVERSARY!

todae, me and bryan is celebrating our 5th month anniversary(x

although the actual dae was 4th september, cos of somethings, we celebrate late la.
hahaa. we went to plaza singapura. nothing much though.
we watched a movie, EVAN ALMIGHTY! its dam funni! i love the monkey. dam cute sia.
suggest u all go watch if u haven. heh.
yupps!
oh ya! not forgeting.. he gave me presents! WUAHAHAHAxx. always lehx. i dun like him to spend money unnessesary. he got a long long never ending shopping list lehx, he shud be saving money to buy those things instead. haha. but aniways, guess wadd he bought for me.

x3 one BIG gigantic baby bottle filled wif sweets!
haha. dun worry, i will share the sweets. LOL!
x3 two soft toys! one is minnie mouse and the other is mickey mouse.
SO CUTE! couple couple. hehehehee.

and who say i nvr buy him anything. i did. but dun wan to tell u. =x
yupps! aniways, before watching the movie, we went to makan at Swensens. it has been a long time since i last ate anything there. hmm. main dish, BAKEDRICE! yumm yumm. delicious i tell ya.
after makan, we rushed to the theater, we made it on time(x
after the movie, we walked walked and HE decided to go to Swensens to eat again.
OmggOsh, he has a real big appetide.! yet he is dam skinny! -.-'' who asked him become so sporty. lols.
aniways, we ate ice cream as desert? i was dam full den. yet, pei him eat la. i even took a delicious YUMMY picture of the ice cream. to me, its dam ex la. come on, i dun work, $10 is already dam ex liaO. den the ice cream itsef is already going to reach $20++?
but it was delicious. serious! its called chocolate fudge. yumm. delicious name? he feed me, i feed him. he is my baby and i love him! wuahahaxx.

yummy(x

.CHOCOLATE FUDGE.

taken by a professional photographer.

HEHEE.

B&N fight on the phone.

2007-09-06T17:21:00.000+08:00

ARGHH! i jus dunno wad to do anymore. its so complicated! why do ALL GUYS MUST HAVE PRIDE! THEIR FACE, they think they so big issit? if everybody wans pride, all the problems in the world will NEVER be solved! cos of their selfishness and inconsiderate manner of jus saying ONE WORD! and that is SORRY! wad so hard? i do it everytime! i dun even care about having face. u wan so many faces for wad? scared u too ugly? so u need alot of other pples' faces to cover? NO RITE?!?! so why can't everybody jus say sorry at some point of time. no matter if its ur fault or not. even if its not, why can't u say sorry? will it bring any harm? if u noe the other person is die die also not going to say sorry, can't u jus be the nicer one to say sorry? GUYS! dun u noe, a gal likes a person who is forgiving and understanding?? and would say sorry to jus stop a fight.

IT TAKES A WISE MAN TO NOE WADS RIGHT AND WRONG.
BUT IT TAKES A WISER MAN TO SAY SORRY.

can't anybody jus understand that.
plus, be forgiving too. i said my sorries alot of time, but if they dun wan to accept it, theres nth else to do. they can't bring me to jail jus becos i said sorry and they are still not happy wif it. correct?? doesn't it make sense to jus say a little sorry to somebody u simply hate? why hate somebody if u can love more.?
and plus, aftr saying sorry, wun u feel better? wun u feel more innocent? but dun go round murdering pple and saying sorry. thats a crime and that doesn't work of course..

but for me, i jus wan to say a big
SORRY to everybody for wadeva i did wrong.

attitude, in another hand. as long u behave ursef.. why bother about that person's attitude? even if their attitude is disturbing. why shout back? wun it jus spoil ur reputation? i noe u wan ur reputation. so KEEP IT WHEN U CAN. dun make ursef spoil ur own. but jus a suggestion, can all bad attitude pple pls change for the sake of ursef, not others. pple who have bad attitude normally dun have long lasting friends in the end. so wad if u are angry, u can always cool ursef down rite? attitude also consist of vulgarities okay!

NO VULGARITY!

why use vulgarity for anger? it would jus spoils everybody's dae! even if u are use to it, can't u change for the sake of ursef?? arhgg. i say this also no use. u think im jus scolding u to change. but u dunno wad is going on in the society dun u. wadeva it is. i jus wish u of best luck.

why...

2007-09-04T21:35:00.000+08:00

argh. i feel so STUPID! so USELESS! such an idiot!
why is all this happening.. i regret.. i realli do.
im sorry to say i liked u. im sorry to have started all this. IM JUS SORRY!

i realli dunno wad to do. i have made something that i realli regret.
its jus that, it has been a long time since i toked to bryan. and when this aftrnoon i saw his friendster, everything changed. he became single?!?! aftr seeing, i din noe weather did he still loveed me. i thought everything was gone. i thought jus becos of nvr contact for alot of daes, he would give up on me. but i called him. i felt so happy to hear his voice again. it was realli amazing. but he was sleeping, so nvm. i wait till he wakes up. aftr toking to him the whole entire dae. i realised i did something stupid. realli stupid. yes, i do like nicholas. but i do love bryan the same time. i like nicholas ever since the first dae comfirmation camp. but i kept telling mysef that its jus puppy love, and i truly love bryan. but no.
WHY ON EARTH AM I SO STUPID AND STUBBORN??!!?
until last nite, during the novena SHINE JESUS SHINE, i told nicholas i liked him. he held my hand. at that point. i knew i was doing something bad. i mean come on.. i have a boyfriend whose name is bryan and jus becos i have nvr contacted him becos of my parents for a long while, doesn't mean he dun love me anymore. i dun wan to two time. and i realli do love bryan alot. i realli do. i would even give up my life for him. im serious.yes, wad vivian told me was true. i was too into it. but its too late. i love him too much, i cnt bare to let him suffer. now, bryan wans to find nicholas. of course im angry rite.. i already told nicholas that i onli love one person and that is bryan. at least i nicholas knew, so bryan no need to create trouble la. i realli dun like pple who LIKES to create trouble. its so saddistic! aniways, now jus becos im angry, i scolded bryan.. i scolded him of his character and attitude, i realli made him angry this time. im realli sad, now he so angry. it realli hurts me deep deep inside. why am i crying for something i started it? am i realli having no brains at all? im stupid to start all this. i shud onli love one person and that is bryan. i said sorry to bryan but he does sound angry. i hope he would accept my apology. but still, i dun wan him to go and find nicholas and wait for him outside of sch and all. bryan, im sorry. nicholas, im sorry. im sorry to started all this.

Bryan,

i dunno if u will read this. but all i wan to say is im sorry for scolding u and making u upset. i noe im in the wrong. i was jus trying to encourage u to go church. thats all. cos u noe la, im a person who goes church every week. a normal catholic person. and u noe me well rite, that i realli love a guy wif good character, but i am still sorry to say all those to hurt u, i realli din mean it. im realli sorry. but i was jus saying wad was in my mind. i did not noe it would make u so angry. it realli makes me cry to see u angry. please dun get angry anymore, i promise i will end it all. im sorry. i love you, i realli do. please forgive me...

colleen.

teacher's da3!

2007-09-04T12:56:00.000+08:00

TEACHER'S DAY 2oo7!

NANAji3 + me!

ji3mei 1314

group photo.

yi ning + teresa

LaOshi + Laurel

FRIDA3; 24th August.

2007-08-31T20:38:00.000+08:00

FRIDAY, 24th AUGUST.

we, as one whole family, went to HARD ROCK CAFE for dinner to celebrate my brother's and dadd's birthdae. this happened on a FRIDAE. but i din had time to write, therefore, im writing todae. aniways, i took some photos. though, not alot of pple was in good mood. one example was me. jus aftr getting scolded for bgr. grr! aniways, here are some photos from hard rock cafe.

some DELICIOUS mouth-drooling food for some temptation. hehee.
and plus! a vry good photographer took the pictures, therefore, more drools. hahaa.

my salad.
delicious and filling healthy meal.

pastas anybody?

NOW FOR DESERT! i had...

APPLE CRUMBLE!!! my favourite.

and plus some family photos...

group photo.

after that, we had a performance by a live band. they sing quite cool.

outside hard rock cafe..
( the birthdae MEN)

at home...
(cutting the cake)

birthdae cake.

a problem i will never forget.

2007-08-25T20:54:00.000+08:00

THIS IS A FUCKING PROBLEM I NEVER WANTED IT TO HAPPEN.

on thursdae, i went out wif him. we went to marina square to watch a movie. but some stupid mum's friend saw me there wif him and told my mum. on thursadae nite, my mum wanted to tok to me about it. but i was already sleeping. i fell asleep aftr toking to him on the phone. aftr noeing i was sleeping, she confiscated my hp. at nite, he called. my mum picked up and toked to him. i din noe wad they toked abt. but my mum told me she asked him how he met me and wad was he to me.
the next morning, fridae morning. its a schooling dae and i woke up at the normal time. i went round looking for my hp as i noe i slept wif it. and i was most afraid my mum saw he called. as wad i was scared of, it actually happened. my mum took it. she called me to her room and locked the doors. i was totally scared as i din like all this lectures they have always been giving me. my dad woke up and started scolding me. all i wanted was my hp back and ready for school. my dad and mum scolded me and kept asking who was the guy on the hp. my mum asked me how i noe him. not noeing she toked to him on the hp. i said that i knew him from school cos he had to come to my school for some project. and my friend intro him to me. when my mum asked me wad was he to me, i told them the truth. he was my boyfriend. at least i din fully lied!
my mum told me she toked to him last nite and he gave a different story. i got so confused and knew i couldn't lie anymore. i din noe wad to say. they carried on scolding me and soon, i was late for school. my parents even called me cheap! who the hell would call their own children cheap. they even compared me to a prositude. issit having bf so complicated?
all i wanted was jus someone i love alot to care for me. a companion who would be there for me 24 hours per dae. in need of trouble, sadness and in happiness. someone who i can tell all my long winded stories about everything. i thought he was the one. i realli realli loved him. my parents told me to break up wif him. thats a vry hard task to do. even if i did tell him i wanted to break up, deep down, i still loved him. i would wait forever jus to finally be wif him again. though i will be lonely. alot of my friends are always so busy that they cnt even accompany toking on the hp. some of my stories wud even bored them out. but im a person who realli need attention, seriously, i cnt stand being alone. if im a lonely person, wad makes u think i will be happy all the time. every dae and every nite, i cry.. jus becos of my parents, not noeing how to understand how i feel. they keep saying its puppy love and all. but if its realli puppy love, i wudden be so sadd as how i am now. maybe he wun love me tat much. but i realli love him alot.
one reason my parents din allow me to have a bf was tat boys are so dangerous. all they think about is dirty stuff. but not all boys. my kor kor is one example. and bryan, he is not those kind of guys my dad keep saying. i realli love him wholeheartedly. even aftr noeing he was actually playing wif me, i will still love him. and im willing to wait for him until he wakes up. but wadever it is, i do love him. i miss him. and now, its so hard to contact wif him. i got no hp, i cnt borrow my kor kor hp. on fridae nite, i borrowed my kor's hp to sms him secretly, telling him to get prepared cos my parents are going to call him. but my mum found out aftr that. she hated me the whole entire nite. theres no way i can contact him. my parents reads my emails nowadaes. but i still continue sending him email cos i dun see him online. and thats the onli way i can contact him. im banned from using any source of contact. im jus afraid. is god actually helping me? sometime, i think god is trying to tell me he not realli a good person. but why, i still dun understand. theres so many things in my wallet, my hp, even in my com abt him. in my room, there are presents he gave me. example is the a teddy, i named it mr teddy. i sleep wif it every nite. it reminds me of him. in my hp, there are pics of him and me together. in my com, there is my friendster. friendster is where everything happened. my com also have alot of pics of him and me. i dunno wad to do. so confused. i cnt stop crying. jus thinking abt him, noeing i have to give up soon or later. i feel so useless and hopeless. now i can laugh and smile wif my parents. no matter how much i hate them for making all this happens, i still love them cos they are my parents. hate and love is so much different, its so confusing too. sometimes, i hate them so much tat i wished i could jus run away from home and never come back. sometimes i love them so much tat i still play around wif them or go out. now that i cnt tok to anybody, nobody noes how much pain im feeling.
im going to lock mysef in my room now. i hope all this wud jus go pass quickly. my heart realli aches. its broken into half. during these FIVE months together wif him, thinking he was the one, the one and onli one who i will never break up wif, always thinking he wud be the one breaking up wif me instead. yet, now im the one who will be asking him to break wif me. i will never forget the times we had together. the happiness i had, the happiness he gave me. i dun even mind paying a million bucks on him, i jus wanted him to be happy.
he is the onli companion who will make me so happy that every movement he makes, be it walking or eating, the picture is in my mind. jus wan to say, i love him so much, i will wait. i will wait until at least he gets married wif some other gals than thats the time i noe i will have to give up.

to bryan,
im realli sorry that all this have happened. somehow, all ur emails and comments does not seem to be sad. is good. but sometimes u make me think if u are playing wif me in the first place. i hope not. u noe i love u alot, so much thing i was willing to do for u. u shud noe wad i did. though i noe u did more than me. but im still sorry. its my parents who will make problem for u todae, tmr and the following dae and so on. if u realli loved me, u will wait. but if u cnt, its ok. i noe u are a person who can get many many wonderful girls out there. u being so shuai and sweet and cute, u can attract a girl so fast. but all i care is that i will wait for u. even if its until afe of 21 or aftr ur NS or wadeva. tys for the times u gave me it has been wonderful. tys for the gifts and specially the ring, i loved it. thanks for everything.

colleen.

SENTOSA!

2007-08-12T00:02:00.000+08:00

TODAE! i went to sentosa.

who went? ME! eunice<-bdae qirl., felicia., rebecca + stead., christina + stead., yi ning., gigi., terrence. we bought champagne and dunn0 one more bottle of dunno wadd. yupps! aftr that, we go all the way to harbour there. where we met yi ning, gigi, terrence. wa liew! he dam dam DAO la! listen to ipod denn nvr tok de. nvm... aniways! yeah, we waited for the FREAKING dam loong shuttle bus to sentosa. AND MUS BUY THE TICKET ONE LEH. last time i went, is pay there de. wa liew. irritating. plus hor, the line DARN LONG! if they wan me to line up again, I WOULD BE HAPPY TO KILL THEM! but aii ya, since they so nice. they showed me to the ticket stand leh! mus give chance lor. hahahaa. aniways, aftr that. everybody wanted to take taxi. but also scared too ex. but terrance say he go take taxi denn walked liao. <- DAO rite? =x nvm.. denn we die die have to take 3 taxi. cos the stupidd driver say cnt 5 pple squeeze. WA LAO! its like. ME! yining, gigi, terrence in one taxi. rebecca&stead, christina&stead in another. onli left felicia and eunice. sadd la. two of them share taxi. sure more ex de lor. kkiess, aniways, yeah, for the first two taxi, terrence pay and rebecca stead pay. denn the 3rd one, they two share.. hmm. it cost about $4.7o from harbour to the beach.

AT THE BEACH...
we opened the chapaign bottle. and i drank like 1 sip. DEN WHEN I TURN AROUND AND WANTED TO DRINK AGAIN.. guess wadd. LEFT THE CHAMPAGNE BOTTLE GIVE ME. Zzz.
so i took the other bottle and started drinking. cos the rest said it was yucky and all. but to me, nice la. i mean... IF U ARE THIRSTY, OF COURSE DRINK RITE. yea, aftr that, i walked around wif the bottle in my hands. i went to the sea wif it. drank it there. went under the shade wif it and drank it there too. until it left like 1/5 of it? denn i offered to the people around me. but onli donald drank... LOL! okayy.. nvm. he onli drank 1 sip. THE REST IS STILL MINE!!! wuahahaaxx. some more, they say i drunk leh. but no leh! i noe wadd i hearing, i noe wadd i saying. onli thing, i was vryy noisy. WHICH IS COMMON RITE! hahahaa.
aniways, aftr that. FOR THE WHOLE DAE, rebecca and her stead sit at one side far far behind the trees and being so mushy... hahaa. free show for us lor. some muacks muacks here, some huq huq there... i name them ani-socials la. who ask them, the whole dae nvr come join us.. at least awhile la! also nvr..

aftr that, we played water and all la. denn i sit down wif the baqqs. wa liew, the sun so dam hot la. i felt WARM! <- not hot, WARM! yeah, so felicia accompanied me sit down. happy lor. she told me some stories la. interesting though. yeah, aftr that.. we went to play water cos everybody was playing(except the anti-socials). denn we played TRUTH OR DARE. but! it was quite boring la. cos everybody was like "this dare cnt la"... den boring lor. either that or they keep saying truth, denn we dunno wad to ask.
somemore, it mostly points to me la! IRRITATING.! so obviously i say dare lor. cos truth like not fun like that. so yeah, one of the dare tat i will always rmb was to: go up by the rocks there and shout out loud "terrence, i love you" and they mus hear. I MEAN WTH.! but i went there and jus shouted "i love you" hahahahaha! cos i need to mean wat i say so i realli love all my fwens and everybody who TREATS ME NICE! yupps! denn when i shout, they keep saying cnt hear. Zzz. bully lor. aniways, i shouted like nobodi bussiness denn cann see alot of pple looking at me lor.
den when i was standing on the rocks, i saw BLOOD on the rocks. denn the pain slowly come... MY FOOT GOT A DEEP CUT. wa liew.. i hope my blood is still there. as a memorance. hahaaa. yeah, i walked BAREFOOTED through the sand though the sole of my foot was bloody. yeah, aftr that, my fwens! (not included the anti-socials) came to ask me wad happened and helped me. TRUE FRIENDS!

aftr that, i went to take a shower. but the fcuking line so long and they bathe so long. longer den 3o mins la. who the hell would take to bathe more than me!!! yeah, i scolded the person la to faster cos my leg pain leh. she still there sinqqing her way rite! denn aftr i shouted at her, she said okok, coming coming. denn can see she was wearing her slippers. HAHAHA! fierce! NICE!

aftr the whole sentosa, we went to vivocity.
who was still there? ME! eunice., yining., gigi., felicia.
my leg was still pain so of course i couldn't run la. but they were so hungry. so i told them say they go first la. i will catch up wif them there. so they RAN all the way to the kopitiam.
nvm, wat to do? hungry ma.. most of them nvr eat proper breakfast, lunch. and me?
i onli nvr eat ytd breakfast, lunch, dinner and todae's breakfast and lunch. din had the appitide, felt quite sick. but todae was better. i ate my dinner.! hahaa.
aftr that, gigi and yi ning had to go home. so they left. while me, eunice and felicia went to toyrus to take pics, and buy thing. but there was a magic show there. there was about 4 guys. WA LIEW, i duno how they do the tricks la. they say it was not realli magic but was in the cards. BUT WAT CAN A SIMPLE "MAGICAL" CARD DO?!?!? to me, till now, i dunn get it. =x
yeah, aftr that. i went home. tired sia. whole dae play play, kana injured den cnt walk properly.ended up limping like some retard. Zzz.!

i dunno why, i realli realli love the rinq he gave me. i wore it the whole dae! and onli took it out when i was having a shower. besides that, i went to the sea wif it, went to play wif it. got bloody wif it. its jus that, when i wear it. i feel a sense that he is around. till now, while typing. im still wearing! i miss him... i realli do. sadd that he nvr come todae. but i heard he was happy watching some boxing competitions. he happy mode todae, im happy too! infact, im in a crazy mood now.

THIS IS THE FREAKKING DAE WE BROKE UP! jK.

2007-08-10T21:39:00.000+08:00

THIS IS THE FREAKING DAE WE BROKE UP!

aww.. h0w sadd rite... HAHA! jKjK.

well, we did actually... but aftr i said sorry, he accept. i even had an apology script! hahaa. but it was all funni instead of sadd and all. cos i noe he wasn't that serious in breaking up. i onli felt sadd aftr i couldn't say the script cos of somethings. but i did it! and it turn out okay la. like wth rite...

ANIWAYS! tomorrow will be a bigg dae! OH! guess wadd... my parents go oversea... WHOOO HOOOO!!! freedom once again! and tys charlene for spaming my friendster. now i got loads and loads of comments! WHOOO HOOO again!

okayy, nvm. back to tomorrow. yeah, its a BIG BIG dae! im going to sentosa to celebrate eunice's bdae. it will be fun i tell u. FUN!!! there will be champaigns, watering funn... well, i HOPE it will be fun. i dun wann to end up somebody fighting on a glorious dae. but! im sure to pray for a sunnie dae tmr instead of a rainy wet dae. x)

o2o8o7

2007-08-02T23:21:00.000+08:00

MAKE-UP lessons!

i learn how to put make-up. how incredible! i dun even put on any make-up. and now im suppose to noe how to put make-up for OTHER PEOPLE! wOahh.. im doin make-up for the gals who are acting for promenate. its a big event in my school. ALL ARE WELCOME! but ENTRANCE FEE IS NOT FREE! tys. hahaaa. venue is my school of course la. "duhh.." aniways, todae's session was funn! serene did make-up for me. and i did for her. OBVIOUS I DUN LOOK LIKE A MONSTER! AND SHE DIN LOOK LIKE A CLOWN! we used eye liner, eye brown liner, mascara... thats it. we were incharged of the EYES! the eyes are wonderful things on our face. without our eyes, we wun be able to see the evil and good side of the world! aniways, after that, serene and i went off early. the rest stayed to watch the preview. so cool rite! hahaa. its about nuns and all. ITS A NICE NICE SHOW! ITS A MUST WATCH! hehee. and plus! mus be sure to notice their make-up kkiess? im doin their eyes. NOT ALL LA. so if the make-up is nice, means i did it. HAHA. jkjk.
yupps! these was about it for the dae.
after that, serene went for her tuition. and i? hehee...

i went to meet him. we went around toa payoh.. it was so fun. we played GAMES! and they are GAMES!that onli we noe de.. others dunno de. wuhaahaax. it was fun. he said to play wif him every time i see him. okayy... aii ya, todae was SO FUN LA. aftr that, it was around 7 plus plus. we took taxi to his house de mrt. from there i took mrt home. i did that so i can have more time to pei him ma... hehee.

tomorrow is Fridae... haiss, another tiring dae.. fridae is when i have PE! uh noo. i hope the teacher doesn't come. =x but NDP is comeing! i hope i get to see fireworks like last year. it was so... NICE. x)

2oJulyy2oo7

2007-07-20T18:00:00.000+08:00

Todae is...
Singapore celebrates racial harmony dae! soo..
HAPPY RACIAL HARMONY peeps! x)

aniways, todae in school, it was quite happening. for my class, only ONE out of 43 students wore her ethnic costume. how pathetic. well, obvious im not the one who wore it la. i guess everybody's reason was the same. "todae got PE wadd. dunn need to wear la!" all the same. aniways, for the first period, some black-americans from NEW YORK! came our school for some performance. IT WAS SO DAM COOL. i always wanted to g0 to new york. maybe next time wif my FUTURE HUSBAND. xP depends la, later no money denn dream GONE. -.-''
yupps! i shall not call them black-americans cos it sounds so racist? i shall call them the DUDES! that makes them sound cooler. aniways, the dudes went on stage and i simply LOVE the way they talk. so cool. hehee. they danced and sang for us. i enjoyed it alot, infact, i heard they are having a performance at yishun tonite, LIVE PERFORMANCE! and guess wadd. its free admission! so cool rite? i want to go.. but NOBODY GO WIF ME and so late. ends at 9 plus, starts around 7pm? dunno la. but im jus lucky to see them perform in my school at least.
aftr that, we are alowed to sample some traditional cultural food. obvious, i wanted to try... but as i was following my fwen around, she tried it already so she told me "not nice la, go canteen eat better. come faster come." although i was quite sadd i couldn't try some nice tasty food made my students and teachers, i had to follow her go for recess. -.-'' later she alone denn cry, so mus have pple to follow ma. =x jk nia.
yea, aftr recess, we went back to class. its so irritating! we are celebrating racial harmony but we still have lessons. HOW ANNOYING THAT IS!

i went out wif him on wednesdae and yesterdae.
lets see.. on wednesdae, we went to tenah merah there. yupps! so enjoyable. i had the time of my life. although everybody may see it is jus filled wif trees, houses and mrt. but as long he is there, its no longer boring nor wasting time.
denn there was yesterdae. actually i went home dam early aftr school as everybody was either "go home" or "meet bfs" or "see hot guys la" can't imagine. they still got bfs, yet see hot guys. tsk tsk tsk. aniways, so i went home first. denn he called me to meet him at around 4.3o so i went. at around 4.35, i was there. quite late la. sryy. hehee. aniways, he lost his wallet. he looks dam sadd and angry lor. i also feel dam sadd for him. wallet leh, alot of $$ de leh. =x aniways, the person who took it sure deserve a punishment. but nobody noes who took it. -.-'' haiss, i bet he is still sadd.
aniways, he was hungry so we went to makan late lunch. he bought wanton noodles. AND GUESS WADD! he gave me green chilli. ahh... i can eat chilli la. but ii dunn like the seeds. its so spicy. hehee. aftr eating we walked around bedok. i din noe bedok was a nice place to go shopping. i walked passed some shops, and I LOVE THE CLOTHES! one dae i sure will bring my mum go there to buy me clothes. hehee. well, do u think i pay for my own clothes? wuahhaax. but if its expensive, like around $20, she would say "wa! so ex! dun buy la. next time see better one den buy" she kept saying that. and now? my closet is so dam empty! wth.. nvm, hmm. denn we walked from bedok to tenah merah mrt where i took mrt to go home. i reached home at about 9.2o? i remembered the sky was dark, but the night lights were bright. and i saw pple rushing home aftr work. i totally felt weird. pple gave me looks like as if i was some dropped out kid. such typical singaporean. x)

the good women of china

2007-07-11T20:46:00.000+08:00

todae is like any other ordinary dae..
kena scolded by teacher, sleep in class, stand up during class as punishments... LOL!

aftr RME class, it was recess, ms shanti picked me out from class and guess wadd. she looked dam weird. she looked like as if i was getting into a BIG BIG trouble...
BUT! in the end, she jus asked me "colleen, are you okay? why are you so quiet nowadays."
i mean... issen being quiet a GOOD THING?!?! ZzZ. teachers jus do not know wadd they wann sia.
i smiled, laughed, and replied okayy... but she keep telling me that there will always be pple around me to talk to. IM NOT A LONER AND I NOE THAT! like DUHH... well, at least i got cassandra to tell everything! she is a good listener, although at times i irritater her by being so dam talkative.
she still asked why i haven been laughing madly and smiling. i jus told her i was tired, its true wadd! not enough sleep = no energy...
she still tell me to conserve my energy for wednesdae onli, for her class. LOL!

aniways, thats one situation... another one is..
IM READING A GOOD BOOK! can't u believe it??? its a book without pictures... i dunn normally read those kind. but this book is different. its about china women being tortured under the deadly sick china men. uu noe wadd i mean rite.. aniways, i actually saw sarah reading during class. her book was SO DAM THICK LA! but thinner then harry potter's books. and the cover looked interesting to read. therefore, ii was so interested in reading it. denn came along ms syde... she saw and she was willing to lend me her book as she had the same book but a smaller version. &now, im reading the book. ms syde passed me the book that time, the book looked newly bought cos it was KEPT PROPERLY. unlike me, the one who DESTROYS THINGS... hehee. and im scared of opening the book now cos i scared i will damage it.

if any bookworm out there is interested in the book im reading...
the title is: >>XINRAN<<The Good Women Of China.

dunn borrow the book from me cos its not mine hor... i think the library sure got at least one of this book. it looks so olden though..

WUU!!! he calling me... kkiess, BYE DIARY!

2007-07-09T18:34:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary,
quess wadd, i sprained my ankle.. PAIN PAIN!!! sObx! Diary come sayangg lehx.. x(

2007-07-09T18:01:00.000+08:00

hahaa. backk to updating. SO BUSY NOWADAES.. and so tiredd.

OH! OH! OH! DID ANYBODY GO TO YOUTH RALLY on saturdae.?!?!?!

youth rally rox ritee. hahaa. uu noe why? COS IM THERE. hahaa. jkjk. xP
aniways, i went there wif my church. and it was so fun. i sat beside bernard, my kor kor and joshua. they two had nice shoulders sia.
they hadd this talk, or some lecture. ii found it quite boring and it made me want to sleep. so i sleep on their shoulders. hahaa. so comfortable lor. if anyone is tired, u can go find them. LOL!
aniwayss, during youth rally, the songs are dam nice la. the background too! and the gifts were lovely. hahaa. like DUH! they have to be lovely, THEY ARE FREE! hahaa. and i like the shirt. its BLACK! like wooaahhh. hahaa. but BLUE IS NICER. u noe why? cos its MY COLOUR. hehee.
aniways, i met up wif loads of IJians from my school. coolness. imagine, THE WHOLE OF CATHOLIC YOUTHS IN SINGAPORE WERE IN ONE SMALL EXPO HALL. and its not even squeezy! hahaa. thats a miracle ritee.? in my eyes, it is so dunn come and give me all the scientific explaination. -.-''

haiss, he said he was going and ii believed. irritating! grrr... i bet he dunn go church de lor. so much for holyness. well, i wan him to go church la, no matter how boring it is. zzz.
the priest ever said a perfect soul partner always goes to church. and its always in my mind ever since. ii think he said that in May? around there la. issit a sign? LOL! some people may find it stupid but ii believe in all this and i dunn care weather others believes. i trust god and god helps me in my journey of life...